Commentary - Proverbs 11:12

Bird's-eye view

This proverb sets up a sharp contrast between two kinds of men, revealing their inner character by their outward speech, or lack thereof. On the one hand, we have the man who is "void of wisdom," literally lacking a heart, whose emptiness is demonstrated by the contempt he shows for his neighbor. His disdain is not kept private but is expressed, likely through words. On the other hand, we have the "man of understanding," a man of discernment, whose wisdom is demonstrated by his silence. He holds his peace, not because he has nothing to say, but because he knows when and where and whether to say it. The proverb, therefore, is a lesson in social wisdom, teaching that true understanding is often displayed not in clever speech but in judicious restraint, while a heart lacking wisdom inevitably reveals its folly through contemptuous words.

At its core, this is a proverb about the heart. The mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart, and a heart full of contempt is a heart that is spiritually and morally bankrupt. It lacks the fundamental wisdom that begins with the fear of the Lord and results in love for one's neighbor. The discerning man's silence is not passivity; it is an active, wise governance of the tongue, rooted in a heart that understands people, situations, and the power of words. This is practical, everyday righteousness, where a man's spiritual state is made plain by how he handles his personal relationships.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

Proverbs 11 is a chapter full of these kinds of sharp, antithetical parallels that contrast the righteous and the wicked, the wise and the foolish. The surrounding verses deal with public and civic life. Verse 10 speaks of a city rejoicing when the righteous prosper, verse 11 says a city is exalted by the blessing of the upright, and verse 13 discusses the talebearer who reveals secrets versus the faithful spirit who conceals a matter. Our verse fits squarely within this context. Despising one's neighbor is a private heart attitude that has public consequences. It corrodes the trust and goodwill necessary for a community to flourish. The man who holds his tongue is not just practicing personal piety; he is contributing to the peace and stability of the city. This proverb is another brushstroke in Solomon's grand portrait of a society that is either built up by wisdom or torn down by folly, starting with the words of individual men.

Key Issues

The Architecture of Contempt

Contempt is not simple disagreement. It is not a sober assessment that someone is in the wrong. Contempt is a sin of elevation. The one who despises his neighbor has first climbed up onto a rickety, self-constructed platform in his own mind, and from that imagined height, he looks down. To despise someone is to declare them worthless, to count them as nothing. The Hebrew word for despise here carries the sense of holding someone in contempt, thinking little of them. This is a profound violation of the second great commandment, to love your neighbor as yourself. You cannot love someone whom you simultaneously count as worthless.

The proverb tells us that this attitude flows from a man who "lacks a heart of wisdom." The phrase is literally "lacks heart." In Hebrew thought, the heart is the seat of the mind, the will, the understanding. To lack a heart is to be a fool, an empty man. Folly is not primarily an intellectual problem; it is a moral and spiritual one. The fool is empty of the fear of the Lord, and so he is empty of wisdom. And because nature abhors a vacuum, he fills that emptiness with himself. Pride rushes in, and contempt for others is the inevitable result. The fool looks at his neighbor and, instead of seeing a fellow image-bearer of God, sees only a foil for his own self-importance.

Verse by Verse Commentary

12a He who despises his neighbor lacks a heart of wisdom...

The first man described is identified by his action: he despises his neighbor. This is not a passing frustration. This is a settled disposition of contempt. He looks at the man next door, or the man in the next cubicle, or the man in the pew behind him, and scoffs. He belittles him in his mind, and as the context of the next clause implies, he likely belittles him with his words. This might be done through outright insults, or through more subtle forms like sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or dismissive gossip. Whatever the form, the root is the same: contempt.

And the proverb gives us a divine diagnosis of this man's condition. He "lacks a heart of wisdom." He is, to put it bluntly, a fool. His problem is not that his neighbor is genuinely contemptible. His problem is that his own heart is empty. He lacks the fundamental understanding that all men are created in God's image and that he is commanded to love his neighbor. He lacks the self-awareness to see the towering pride in his own heart. He thinks he is passing judgment on his neighbor, but he is actually revealing the vacant foolishness of his own soul. His contempt is a flashing neon sign advertising his own emptiness.

12b ...But a man of discernment keeps silent.

The contrast is stark. The second man is a "man of discernment," or understanding. He is the opposite of the man who lacks a heart. His heart is full of wisdom, and this enables him to see and understand things as they truly are. He is not naive; he sees his neighbor's faults and failings just as clearly as the fool does, perhaps even more clearly. He is a man of discernment, after all. He is not silent because he is oblivious or because he approves of sin. He is silent for other reasons, wise reasons.

His silence is his wisdom in action. He "keeps silent." The Hebrew word here means to be still, to be quiet, to hold one's peace. Why? Because he understands the power of words. He knows that contemptuous speech only fuels strife and tears at the fabric of community. He knows that it is not his place to broadcast his neighbor's faults. He knows that his own heart is not pure enough to be the judge. He might need to speak to his neighbor privately, in a spirit of restoration. He might need to speak to church elders if the sin is serious. But he will not engage in the cheap, prideful act of despising him. His silence is not weakness; it is the strength of a man who has his tongue, and therefore his whole self, under control. It is the fruit of a heart that is full of the wisdom that comes from above.

Application

This proverb forces us to look at our own hearts and our own mouths. It is easy for us, particularly in our highly polarized and online age, to cultivate a spirit of contempt for those with whom we disagree. We can despise a politician, a celebrity, a theological opponent, or even the guy down the street who voted differently, and we can feel entirely justified in doing so. We can dress up our contempt in the respectable clothes of "discernment" or "speaking truth." But this proverb strips all that away.

Contempt for a neighbor, any neighbor, is the mark of a fool. It is a sign that our heart is empty of God's wisdom. The gospel demolishes the platform from which we look down on others. We are all sinners, saved by a grace we did not deserve. The ground at the foot of the cross is level. How can a man who has been shown infinite mercy by God turn and show utter contempt for a fellow creature? It is a grotesque contradiction.

The man of understanding, the Christian who is growing in wisdom, learns to govern his tongue. He learns that silence is often the most powerful, wisest, and most loving response. He refuses to participate in the slander, the gossip, the mockery. He does this not to be seen as superior, but because his heart has been filled with a different spirit. He has the mind of Christ, who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return. Therefore, the application is to repent of the contempt in our hearts. Confess the sin of despising others. Ask God to fill the emptiness in our hearts with His wisdom, which is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits. And then, as a practical matter, the next time we are tempted to speak or type a word of contempt, we must remember this proverb and, by God's grace, hold our peace.