Commentary - Proverbs 5:15-20

Bird's-eye view

In this portion of Proverbs 5, Solomon pivots from the stark warnings against the adulteress to the positive, glorious alternative: the covenantal delight of marriage. Having detailed the bitter end of illicit passion, the wormwood, the two-edged sword, the path to Sheol, he now presents the life-giving fountain of marital fidelity. This is not simply a list of "don'ts" followed by a begrudging "do." Rather, it is a full-throated commendation of God's design for sexual love, presenting it as a source of profound blessing, satisfaction, and intoxicating joy. The imagery is earthy and robust, centered on wells, cisterns, springs, and fountains. This is water for a thirsty soul, and the point is that a man is to find this living water at home, with the wife of his youth. The passage is a beautiful apologetic for marriage, grounding sexual ethics not in mere prohibition, but in the superior pleasures of God's good and holy institution.

Solomon's argument is straightforward: God's gift of sexual intimacy within marriage is a private, exclusive, and blessed fountain. It is not to be squandered or polluted. He exhorts his son to find his ultimate satisfaction and exhilarating joy in his own wife, contrasting this blessed intoxication with the maddening and destructive intoxication offered by the "strange woman." This is practical, fatherly wisdom that connects the created goodness of sex to the covenantal structure of marriage, showing that true freedom and true pleasure are found within the boundaries that God has established for His glory and our good.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

Proverbs 5 is part of a larger section in the book (chapters 1-9) where a father is instructing his son in the foundational principles of wisdom. A recurring and central theme in this section is the warning against the "strange woman" or the adulteress. This figure represents not just sexual temptation, but the entire world of folly that stands in opposition to Lady Wisdom. In chapter 5, Solomon has just finished a graphic depiction of the consequences of adultery (Prov 5:3-14), describing it as a path that leads to bitterness, death, and utter ruin. The verses that follow, our text for today (15-20), are therefore not an isolated discourse on marriage. They are the divine answer, the gospel alternative, to the temptation of folly. The placement is crucial. Before you can truly appreciate the sweet water from your own well, you must first understand the poisonous nature of the stolen waters offered by the world.

Verse by Verse Commentary

15 Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well.

The instruction begins with a simple, potent metaphor. Water is life, refreshment, and a necessity for survival, especially in an arid land. A cistern and a well represent a private, personal, and secure source of this life-giving water. This is not a public trough. It is yours. The command to "drink" is a command to find your satisfaction, your regular and life-sustaining pleasure, right there. In the context of the chapter, the meaning is unmistakable: a man's sexual and intimate fulfillment is to be found with his own wife. She is his cistern, his well. The emphasis on "your own" is foundational. This strikes directly at the heart of the adulterous temptation, which is always a lust for what is not your own. God's provision in marriage is sufficient, it is refreshing ("fresh water"), and it is rightfully yours to enjoy. This is a call to contentment and a recognition that the covenant of marriage creates an exclusive wellspring of delight.

16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets?

This is a rhetorical question, and the expected answer is a resounding "Of course not!" The imagery shifts slightly from a contained well to overflowing springs and streams. The "springs" here represent a man's procreative power, his very life-force and sexual vitality. The question exposes the absurdity of squandering this precious resource. Should the blessings that are meant to water your own garden be spilled out into the public square for anyone and everyone? To do so is to devalue what is sacred, to make common what is meant to be holy and private. This is what adultery and fornication do. They take the intimate, covenantal act of union and cast it into the streets, cheapening it, wasting its power, and polluting the public square. This is a picture of utter foolishness. A wise man cultivates his own garden; a fool lets his water run into the gutter.

17 Let them be for you alone, And not for strangers with you.

Here the answer to the previous question is made explicit. The exclusivity of the marital bond is stated without ambiguity. These springs, this life-giving water, are for "you alone." The sexual relationship between a husband and wife is a private reserve, a locked garden, a sealed fountain, as the Song of Solomon would put it (Song 4:12). The introduction of "strangers" brings us back to the central theme of the chapter, the "strange woman." The world, the flesh, and the devil are always trying to get a straw into your drink. They want access to what God has consecrated for the marriage covenant. But wisdom builds a wall around the well. This is not selfishness in a negative sense; it is the righteous protection of something precious. The intimacy of marriage is a treasure, and it is to be guarded from all intruders.

18 Let your fountain be blessed, And be glad in the wife of your youth.

The tone shifts from prohibition to blessing. When a man is faithful to his own well, that well becomes a "blessed fountain." God's favor rests upon the covenant of fidelity. This is not a grim duty, but a source of profound joy. The command is active: "be glad in the wife of your youth." This is not a suggestion to passively endure your marriage, but to actively, intentionally, and joyfully delight in your wife. The phrase "wife of your youth" is tender and significant. It points to the foundational covenant made in the vigor of life, a relationship with a shared history. The world tells you that joy is found in novelty, in the next new thing. The Bible tells you that true, deep, and blessed joy is found in cultivating and celebrating the covenant you made before God. It is a call to remember the vows, to rekindle the first love, and to recognize that the woman God gave you is a source of blessing.

19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be intoxicated always with her love.

The poetry here becomes even more vivid and affectionate. The wife is compared to a "loving hind" and a "graceful doe," animals known for their beauty, elegance, and gentleness. This is a picture of a husband's perception of his wife; he is to see her as lovely and graceful. Then comes the earthy and explicit command: "Let her breasts satisfy you at all times." This is God's word, and it is unashamedly physical. The satisfaction spoken of is not merely emotional or spiritual, but plainly erotic. This is a far cry from the sterile moralism that sometimes passes for Christian teaching on sex. God is for robust, frequent, and satisfying sexual pleasure within marriage. The final phrase is the crescendo: "Be intoxicated always with her love." The same word for "intoxicated" or "ravished" is used earlier to describe being led astray by the strange woman. Here, Solomon redeems the concept. There is a right and holy intoxication, a losing of oneself, not in the stupor of sin, but in the all-consuming love for one's wife. This is a call to be captivated, enthralled, and perpetually swept away by the love that is found within the covenant.

20 So why should you, my son, be intoxicated with a strange woman And embrace the bosom of a foreign woman?

After painting such a glorious picture of marital love, the alternative is now revealed for the absurdity that it is. The question is almost incredulous. "Why?" After all this, why would you trade a blessed fountain for a polluted puddle? Why would you exchange the satisfying breasts of your graceful doe for the fleeting and destructive embrace of a stranger? Why would you choose a maddening intoxication that leads to death over a holy intoxication that is the very heart of a blessed life? The question hangs in the air, demanding that the son weigh the two options. One path is the way of wisdom, life, blessing, and exhilarating joy. The other is the way of folly, death, curse, and ruin. The choice should be obvious. To turn from the wife of your youth to the strange woman is not just a sin; it is a profound and tragic act of foolishness.

Application

The modern world, much like the world of Solomon's son, is saturated with the siren call of the strange woman. She is on our screens, in our advertisements, and in the cultural air we breathe. She promises excitement, freedom, and satisfaction, but her end is the bitterness of death. This passage from Proverbs is therefore not some quaint, outdated advice. It is a lifeline.

For husbands, the command is clear. Cultivate your own garden. Drink deeply from your own well. Do not let your eyes or your heart wander. Your wife is God's good gift to you, a fountain of blessing. Your task is to rejoice in her, to be satisfied by her, to be perpetually intoxicated with her love. This requires intentionality. It means turning off the screens that offer cheap substitutes and turning toward your wife. It means speaking of her and to her with the affection and admiration seen in this text. It means leading your home in such a way that your marriage is a fortress, impervious to strangers.

For all believers, the principle extends to our relationship with Christ. The church is the bride of Christ, and we are called to a radical and exclusive fidelity to Him. The world offers us a thousand other cisterns, promising to quench our spiritual thirst. But they are all broken cisterns that can hold no water. Our joy, our satisfaction, and our life are found in Christ alone. We are to be intoxicated with His love, finding in Him a pleasure so profound that the cheap thrills of the world lose their appeal entirely. Let us be faithful to the covenant, whether in our marriages or in our devotion to our Savior, and we will find that our fountain is indeed blessed.