Commentary - Proverbs 5:7-14

Bird's-eye view

In this passage, the father's instruction to his son transitions from a general warning about the seductive nature of the strange woman to a stark and practical detailing of the consequences. This is not abstract moralizing; it is a vivid portrayal of utter ruin. The core message is an urgent plea to maintain distance, not to test the limits of temptation, but to flee from it entirely. The consequences of failure are catastrophic and total. They encompass the loss of honor, vitality, wealth, and physical health. The passage culminates in the most bitter consequence of all: the groan of profound, personal regret. The fool, looking back from the wreckage of his life, finally understands the value of the discipline he once despised. It is a picture of a man who has squandered his entire inheritance for a moment of stolen pleasure and is left with nothing but the agonizing memory of his own stupidity.

The logic is simple and brutal: sexual sin is a cruel master that demands everything and gives nothing but destruction in return. The father lays out the bill before the son makes the purchase. He shows him that the price of this particular sin is his splendor, his years, his strength, his labor, and ultimately, his very flesh. The final verses are a confession put into the mouth of the ruined man, a confession that serves as a dire warning. He admits his hatred for discipline and his spurning of reproof, acknowledging that his downfall was not a matter of bad luck, but a direct result of his own willful rebellion against wisdom.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

This section is part of a larger block of teaching in Proverbs 1-9, where Solomon, as a father, is instructing his son in the foundational principles of wisdom. A central and recurring theme in these early chapters is the contrast between two "ways," personified by two women: Lady Wisdom and Dame Folly, the latter often appearing as the "strange woman" or the adulteress. Chapter 5 begins by describing the deceptive sweetness of the adulteress, whose path leads to death (Prov 5:1-6). The verses that follow, our current passage (5:7-14), serve as the practical application of that initial warning. They spell out precisely what that "death" looks like in real-world terms. Following this stark warning, the chapter pivots to commend the God-given alternative: delight and satisfaction within the covenant of marriage (Prov 5:15-20). The chapter then concludes with a reminder of God's omniscience and the self-ensnaring nature of sin (Prov 5:21-23). This structure, warning against folly, detailing its consequences, presenting the wise alternative, and grounding it all in the reality of God's judgment, is characteristic of the wisdom literature in Proverbs.

Key Issues

The Fool's Invoice

The book of Proverbs is intensely practical. It does not simply say "don't do this." It says, "don't do this, and here is a detailed, itemized list of what it will cost you if you do." This passage is the invoice for adultery. Before the young man even considers the fleeting pleasure, the father shoves the bill into his hand. And the price is not listed in dollars and cents, but in units of life itself: splendor, years, strength, labor, flesh, and body. This is a totalizing destruction. Sexual sin is not a compartmentalized error that only affects one part of a man's life. It is a cancer that metastasizes, destroying his reputation, his finances, his health, and his soul. The wisdom of Proverbs is the wisdom of seeing the end from the beginning. The fool only sees the enticing lips of the strange woman; the wise man, taught by his father, sees the groaning wreck of a man at the end of that path.

Verse by Verse Commentary

7 So now, my sons, listen to me And do not turn away from the words of my mouth.

The father leans in here. The tone becomes more urgent, more direct. "So now" signals a shift from the description of the temptress to the necessary response. He addresses not just one son, but "my sons," broadening the application to all young men who would hear. The command is twofold: first, to listen actively, and second, not to turn away. This is the fundamental posture of wisdom. The wise man listens to instruction; the fool despises it. This is the entrance ramp to the path of life. If a young man fails here, at the point of listening, everything else is lost. He is being told that what follows is not optional advice or a helpful suggestion; it is life-or-death instruction from which any deviation is fatal.

8 Keep your way far from her And do not go near the door of her house,

The instruction is not to resist her, but to avoid her altogether. Wisdom does not consist in seeing how much temptation you can withstand. It consists in having the good sense to run in the other direction. "Keep your way far from her." Don't walk down her street. Don't entertain the thought. Don't click the link. The second clause intensifies the first: "do not go near the door of her house." Proximity is the great ally of temptation. The man who thinks he can stand on the porch and not go inside is a fool who has already fallen in his heart. The biblical pattern for dealing with sexual temptation is not to stand and fight, but to flee (Gen 39:12; 2 Tim 2:22). This is a command to establish non-negotiable boundaries, to build fences far from the cliff's edge.

9 Lest you give your splendor to others And your years to the cruel one;

Here begin the consequences, introduced by the word "Lest." This is the "why" behind the command to flee. First is the loss of honor and time. Your "splendor" refers to your honor, your vigor, your reputation, the glory of your youth. This is what you give away to "others" who will not value it. Your sin will make you a subject of gossip and disgrace. And you give "your years to the cruel one." This could refer to the cuckolded husband who might take merciless revenge, or more broadly, to the unyielding and cruel nature of sin itself, which acts as a merciless slave master. The years of your life, which should be spent in fruitful labor, are squandered and given over to a destructive force that will show you no pity.

10 Lest strangers be satisfied by your strength And by your painful labor, those in the house of a foreigner;

The second consequence is financial ruin. The "strangers" and the "foreigner" are those outside your household who will profit from your foolishness. Your "strength" is your capacity for productive work, your earning power. Your "painful labor" is the fruit of that work, your accumulated wealth. Adultery is expensive. It leads to blackmail, to ruinous legal settlements, to a loss of focus and productivity at work. The money that should have been used to build up your own house, to provide for your wife and children, is siphoned off and consumed by outsiders who have no interest in your well being. Your life's work is devoured by strangers.

11 And you groan at your end, When your flesh and your body are consumed;

The third consequence is physical destruction. The "end" refers to the latter part of your life, or simply the end result of your choices. And that end is a groan. This is not a sigh of contentment, but a cry of deep, guttural pain. Why? Because your "flesh and your body are consumed." In the ancient world, this would have immediately brought to mind venereal diseases, for which there was no cure. The sin that promised bodily pleasure ends in the body's utter decay. It is a fire that consumes the one who plays with it. The body becomes a living testament to the destructive nature of the sin it committed.

12 And you say, “How I have hated discipline! And my heart spurned reproof!

Now we come to the fool's soliloquy, the bitterest fruit of all. Looking back from the ruin of his life, he finally sees with perfect clarity. Hindsight is 20/20, even for fools. His first realization is not about the woman, but about himself. "How I have hated discipline!" He recognizes that his core problem was a rebellious heart. He hated being told what to do. He despised the guardrails. "Discipline" is not just punishment; it is instruction, training, the whole system of moral formation. And his "heart spurned reproof." When someone tried to correct him, to warn him, his inner man recoiled in contempt. He sees now that his destruction was not an accident; it was a choice, a choice rooted in his proud hatred of authority.

13 I have not listened to the voice of my instructors, And I have not inclined my ear to my teachers!

He continues his confession, elaborating on his hatred for discipline. He had instructors. He had teachers. The father who gave these warnings was one of them. The elders at the city gate were others. The law of God was his ultimate teacher. But he refused to listen. The phrase "inclined my ear" is a picture of deliberate attention. It's not just that the sound didn't reach him; it's that he actively refused to lean in and pay attention. He had every opportunity to learn wisdom, but he plugged his ears. This is the great tragedy of the fool: truth was available, but he preferred the lie.

14 I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”

The final verse of this section brings the private sin into the public square. He says he was "almost in utter ruin," or on the brink of complete evil. The sin that was committed in secret has brought him to a place of public disgrace. The "assembly and congregation" refers to the formal gathering of the people, the place of judgment and community life. His sin, which he thought was his own private business, has resulted in public shame. He is an object lesson, a cautionary tale for the whole community. His private indulgence has led to public catastrophe, and he stands exposed and ruined before all.

Application

The warnings of Proverbs 5 are as relevant today as they were three thousand years ago, if not more so. We live in a culture that is saturated with the voice of the strange woman. She calls to us from our screens, from our music, from the cultural air we breathe. She promises fulfillment, excitement, and freedom, but this passage reminds us that her bill always comes due.

First, we must take to heart the strategy for victory: radical amputation and flight. Do not flirt with temptation. Do not see how close you can get to the line. Keep your way far from her. This requires practical, concrete decisions about what we watch, where we go online, and with whom we spend our time. It means installing filters, establishing accountability, and being ruthless with our own sinful curiosities.

Second, we must learn to see the consequences before they arrive. Sin always lies. It always over-promises and under-delivers. It shows you the bait but hides the hook. Wisdom is the ability to see the hook. This passage is a divine gift that allows us to see the end of the road without having to travel it ourselves. We must preach this to ourselves: this path leads to the loss of honor, the loss of wealth, the loss of health, and the unbearable groan of regret.

Finally, this passage must drive us to the gospel. The fool's lament, "How I have hated discipline!" is the honest confession of every natural man. We have all, by nature, spurned reproof and turned away from our teachers. Our only hope is not in our own ability to keep these rules, but in the one who perfectly embodied wisdom. Jesus Christ was the true Son who always listened to His Father's voice. He faced the ultimate temptation and did not yield. And on the cross, He bore the "utter ruin" that our folly deserved. He took our public shame so that we could be clothed in His splendor. Therefore, the fight for purity is not a grim exercise in self-righteousness, but a grateful response to the grace that has rescued us from the cruel one and brought us into the house of our Father.