The Rotten Fruit of a Passive Father Text: 2 Samuel 13:23-39
Introduction: The Bill Comes Due
We are now watching the slow, methodical, and horrific implosion of David's household. And we must be clear about one thing: this is not a series of unfortunate events. This is not bad luck. This is the harvest. This is the direct and prophesied consequence of David's sin with Bathsheba and his murder of Uriah. The prophet Nathan told him plainly, "the sword shall never depart from your house" (2 Sam. 12:10). What we are reading is the invoice for that sin, and God always collects.
In the previous section, we saw the first payment rendered. David's son Amnon, inflamed with a wicked lust, raped his half-sister Tamar. And what was David's response? He was angry. That's it. He did nothing. As the king, he was God's minister of justice, appointed to wield the sword against evildoers (Romans 13:4). A monstrous crime had been committed in his own house, a crime deserving of death under the Mosaic Law, and the king did nothing. He was a passive father and a derelict king.
But sin does not simply dissipate when it is ignored. Unjudged evil does not evaporate. It festers. It putrefies. When the magistrate refuses to wield the sword of God's justice, men will take up their own swords of personal vengeance. And that is precisely what we see here. Absalom, Tamar's full brother, saw his father's failure. He saw that the throne of judgment was empty. And so, for two years, he nursed a cold and bitter hatred, waiting for the opportune moment to become the judge, jury, and executioner of his brother. This story is a stark warning about the catastrophic consequences of paternal passivity. When fathers refuse to judge sin in their homes, the home itself becomes the casualty.
The Text
Now it happened after two full years that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold now, your servant has sheepshearers; please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, we should not all go, for we will be burdensome to you.” Although he urged him, he was not willing to go, but blessed him. Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom urged him, so he sent Amnon and all the king’s sons with him. Then Absalom commanded his young men, saying, “See now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then put him to death. Do not fear; have not I myself commanded you? Be strong and be valiant.” Thus the young men of Absalom did to Amnon just as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose and each mounted his mule and fled. Now it was while they were on the way that the report came to David, saying, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” Then the king arose, tore his clothes and lay on the ground; and all his servants were standing by with clothes torn. But Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Do not let my lord suppose they have put to death all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone has died; because by the intent of Absalom this has been set since the day that he violated his sister Tamar. So now, do not let my lord the king take the report to heart, saying, ‘all the king’s sons have died,’ for only Amnon has died.” Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was the watchman raised his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; according to your servant’s word, so it happened.” As soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted their voices and wept; and also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. Now Absalom had fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom had fled and gone to Geshur, and was there three years. And the heart of King David was consumed with going out to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he had died.
(2 Samuel 13:23-39 LSB)
The Patient Plot (vv. 23-27)
We begin with the setup. Two years have passed. This is not a crime of passion. This is a cold, calculated, premeditated murder.
"Now it happened after two full years that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal-hazor... and Absalom invited all the king’s sons." (2 Samuel 13:23)
For two years, Absalom said nothing to Amnon, "either good or bad" (v. 22). He smiled at family dinners. He passed the salt. He acted the part of the brother while nurturing a murderous hatred in his heart. This is the nature of bitterness. It is a slow poison that convinces the one drinking it that he is harming his enemy. Absalom's plan is cunning. A sheepshearing festival was a time of great celebration, like a harvest festival. It was a plausible reason to gather all the king's sons away from the security of Jerusalem.
Absalom's manipulation of his father is masterful, and it reveals just how weak and blind David has become. He first invites the king himself, which is an honor David rightly refuses. This is the setup. Absalom feigns disappointment and then makes his real request, framing it as a consolation prize: "If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us." David, to his credit, has a flicker of suspicion: "Why should he go with you?" He senses something is not right. But he has no moral authority left. Because he refused to deal with Amnon's great sin, he is now powerless to protect him from Absalom's. When Absalom presses, David caves. He sends not only Amnon, but all his sons, into the trap. A father who will not discipline his children will eventually lose them.
Vengeance Served with Wine (vv. 28-29)
Absalom now reveals the blackness of his heart to his servants. His instructions are chillingly precise.
"See now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then put him to death. Do not fear; have not I myself commanded you? Be strong and be valiant." (2 Samuel 13:28)
Notice the usurpation of authority. "Have not I myself commanded you?" Absalom is acting like a king. He is issuing royal decrees and commanding executions. He is filling the power vacuum his father has left. This is a coup in miniature. He waits until Amnon is drunk, vulnerable, and unsuspecting. This is not justice; this is an assassination. It is cowardly and treacherous. He calls this murder "valiant," but it is the very definition of cravenness.
And his servants obey. The deed is done, and chaos erupts. The other sons, terrified that they are next, flee for their lives. The party turns into a panic. This is what happens when God's order is abandoned. Every man does what is right in his own eyes, and the result is blood and terror.
The Weasel's Wisdom (vv. 30-33)
As is often the case, the first report to reach the king is distorted by the fog of war. It is the worst possible news.
"Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left." (2 Samuel 13:30)
David's reaction is one of complete devastation. He tears his clothes and lies on the ground. In that moment, he believed the sword had fallen on his entire house at once. But then, a familiar character reappears: Jonadab. Remember him? He was the "very shrewd" friend who gave Amnon the wicked advice that led to the rape of Tamar. He is a snake. And here he is again, oozing with cynical, self-serving insight.
He tells David not to worry, it's not all the sons, "for Amnon alone has died." And how does he know this? "Because by the intent of Absalom this has been set since the day that he violated his sister Tamar." Jonadab knew. He saw this coming for two years and said nothing. He is not a friend to anyone. He is a political calculator, a courtier who thrives on chaos. He helped Amnon into his sin, and then watched coldly as the consequences played out, ready to offer his "wisdom" after the fact. He is the kind of man who helps you set your house on fire and then shows up to explain the principles of combustion while it burns.
A Tangled Grief (vv. 34-39)
The truth is confirmed when the surviving sons return, weeping. The grief is immense and bitter. And in the midst of it, "Absalom fled." He runs to Geshur, the kingdom of his maternal grandfather. He is running from his father's justice, a justice he had every reason to believe would be as weak and ineffectual as it was with Amnon.
"And the heart of King David was consumed with going out to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he had died." (2 Samuel 13:39)
This last verse is one of the most psychologically astute and tragic verses in all of Scripture. It reveals the tangled, dysfunctional knot in David's heart. He mourned Amnon, but that grief had a finality to it. Amnon was dead. But his heart was "consumed" with longing for Absalom. He longed for the murderer. He was comforted over the dead son, but tormented by his love for the rebellious, fugitive son.
This is the heart of a father, yes, but it is the heart of a failed father. His affection is completely severed from his duty. His love is not a holy, covenantal love that disciplines and corrects. It is a sentimental, compromised love that overlooks rebellion and even murder. This disordered love for Absalom will eventually lead David to the brink of losing his entire kingdom. He cannot see that the handsome, charming son he longs for is a viper who will soon try to kill him and usurp his throne.
The King We Need
This entire chapter is a portrait of familial and political decay. It is the story of a father who would not judge, a son who would not forgive, and a household that devoured itself from the inside out. David, the great king, the man after God's own heart, is shown to be utterly incapable of governing his own family. If the best of earthly kings is this broken, this compromised, this weak, where does that leave us?
It leaves us looking for a better King. It drives us to the Lord Jesus Christ. In David's house, justice was denied and vengeance reigned. In the kingdom of Christ, justice and mercy meet. On the cross, the ultimate crime, our rebellion against God, was judged with perfect severity. God the Father did not passively ignore sin; He crushed His only Son under the full weight of His wrath against it. He did not spare the Son, so that He could spare us.
And because justice has been fully satisfied, there is no room for our personal vengeance. We are commanded to forgive, because we have been forgiven an infinite debt. Absalom's two years of bitter plotting is the antithesis of the Christian life. We are to forgive seventy times seven.
Finally, we see in David's twisted longing for his murderous son a faint, distorted echo of the Father's heart for us. We are all Absaloms, rebels in a far country, fugitives from justice. And yet, the heart of the Father is consumed with a longing to bring us home. But unlike David, His love is not a weak sentimentality that compromises His righteousness. He made a way for us to come home, not by ignoring our sin, but by judging it in the person of His Son. He is the perfect Father who runs to meet the prodigal, the true King whose house is a place not of chaos and murder, but of order, peace, and everlasting life.