The Covenantal Body: Marriage as a Fortress
Introduction: A Letter to a City Drowning in Lust
The apostle Paul is writing to Corinth, a city that was the Las Vegas of the ancient world. It was a major port city, a boom town swimming in new money, pagan temples, and sexual decadence. The temple of Aphrodite on the hill was staffed with a thousand sacred prostitutes. Sexual license was not just a temptation; it was a religion. And into this swirling cesspool of carnality, a Christian church was planted. It is no surprise then that the Corinthian believers were confused about sex. They were breathing polluted air. Some, it seems, were reacting to the rampant immorality by swinging to the opposite extreme, a kind of hyper-spiritual asceticism that viewed all physical intimacy, even in marriage, as somehow tainted or unspiritual. Others were clearly still captive to the old ways, thinking that grace gave them a license to sin.
So when Paul addresses the questions they wrote to him about, he begins with the most fundamental human relationship: marriage. And what he gives them, and us, is not a set of ethereal platitudes. He gives them practical, earthy, and profoundly theological instructions. He is laying down the biblical realities of sex, marriage, and singleness in a world gone mad. Our world, you will note, is not so different from theirs. We are also drowning in a culture of sexual confusion, where self-expression is the highest good and self-control is seen as a pathology. We have feminized our men, masculinized our women, and told our young people that marriage is a capstone to be placed on a life of self-fulfillment, rather than the foundation upon which a life of service is built.
Therefore, this chapter is not some dusty relic. It is a lifeline. Paul is building a fortress for the people of God, a place of safety, sanity, and fruitfulness in the midst of a pagan onslaught. He is teaching us that the covenant of marriage, and particularly the marriage bed, is a central battleground. It is a place where we either honor God and repel the devil, or we open the gates to him. Paul's instructions here are intensely practical because the Christian faith is not a philosophy; it is a way of life that touches every part of us, right down to our bodies.
The Text
Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say as a concession, not as a command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one this way, and another that.
(1 Corinthians 7:1-7 LSB)
Good, Better, and Best (v. 1-2)
Paul begins by addressing a slogan the Corinthians had likely written to him.
"Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman." (1 Corinthians 7:1)
Some in Corinth, perhaps in a misguided overreaction to the sexual chaos around them, were promoting celibacy as a superior spiritual state. Paul agrees with their premise, but only up to a point. He says it is "good." The word is kalon, meaning noble, excellent, or advantageous. In a perfect world, or for a particular mission, singleness can be a strategic good. Paul himself is an example of this. But a "good" thing is not always the necessary thing or the wise thing for everyone. A hammer is a good tool, but not for washing windows.
Paul immediately qualifies this "good" with a dose of hard-nosed reality. He doesn't let them float away on a cloud of spiritual abstraction. He brings them right back down to earth, to the world as it actually is, full of sin and temptation.
"But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:2)
Notice the word "but." This is a crucial corrective. It is good not to touch a woman, BUT... we don't live in a vacuum. We live in a fallen world, and Corinth was a particularly fallen corner of it. The phrase "sexual immoralities" is porneia in the Greek, a catch-all term for all illicit sexual activity. Paul is saying that because the world is a minefield of sexual temptation, God's ordinary provision for His people is the covenant of marriage. Marriage is the God-ordained context for sexual expression, and it serves as a powerful defense against porneia. He is not saying marriage is a second-class option for the spiritually weak. He is saying it is God's primary, creational design for humanity, and a necessary fortress in a time of war.
The instruction is plain: "each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband." This is the normative pattern. This is God's will for most people. The modern evangelical church has often gotten this backwards. We have promoted a "gift of singleness" as though it were a common spiritual status, while treating marriage as an optional lifestyle choice for those who "feel called" to it. Paul teaches the opposite. Marriage is the norm, and celibacy is the exception, a specific gift given to a few for the sake of the kingdom. To treat undesired singleness as a gift is cruel; it is an affliction. To treat marriage as anything less than God's primary ordinance for mankind is to contradict the plain sense of Scripture, from Genesis 2 onward.
The Marital Debt (v. 3-4)
Paul then moves from the establishment of marriage to the obligations within it, and he gets very specific. This is not about romance; it is about covenantal duty.
"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband." (1 Corinthians 7:3 LSB)
The word for "duty" here is one of obligation, a debt that is owed. In the context of this chapter, it refers primarily to the sexual relationship. This is a command. The husband must pay this debt to his wife, and the wife must pay it to her husband. This is not optional. Withholding sex in marriage is presented here not as a matter of personal preference or mood, but as a failure to fulfill a solemn obligation. It is a form of theft.
To make the point unmistakably clear, Paul explains the basis for this duty in the next verse, and it is a radical statement of mutual ownership.
"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Corinthians 7:4 LSB)
This is a stunning verse that demolishes all notions of bodily autonomy within the marriage covenant. In our hyper-individualistic age, the mantra is "my body, my choice." The Bible says that for the married Christian, it is "your body, my choice," and "my body, your choice." When you get married, you surrender the deed to your body. The wife's body belongs to her husband, and the husband's body belongs to his wife. This is a mutual, reciprocal giving of rights. This is what it means to become "one flesh." Your spouse has a rightful claim on your body, a claim that you are commanded by God to honor. This is why the sexual relationship is so central to marriage; it is the physical consummation and ongoing sign of this one-flesh union.
Satan's Beachhead (v. 5)
Because this mutual obligation is a divine command, violating it has serious spiritual consequences. Paul warns them directly.
"Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Corinthians 7:5 LSB)
The command is "Stop depriving one another." This implies it was already happening in Corinth. Believers were withholding themselves from their spouses, likely under some spiritual pretext. Paul says this must cease. He gives only one legitimate reason for temporary abstinence: mutual agreement for a limited time for the purpose of focused prayer. Notice the guardrails he puts up. It must be by "agreement," not a unilateral decision. It must be for "a time," not indefinitely. It must be for a spiritual purpose, "prayer." And it must be followed by coming "together again."
Why is he so insistent? Because a sexless marriage creates a spiritual vacuum, and Satan loves a vacuum. "So that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." When the legitimate desires God has placed within a husband and wife are not being met within the covenant He designed, the devil sees an opportunity. He sets a trap. This is a beachhead for temptation, whether it be pornography, lust, emotional affairs, or outright adultery. Paul is being a faithful pastor here. He knows that our theology has to work in the real world, where real temptations exist. A marriage bed that is consistently and willfully empty is an open invitation to the enemy.
Concession and Gift (v. 6-7)
Paul then clarifies the nature of his instruction and his own personal preference, which he carefully distinguishes from a divine command.
"But this I say as a concession, not as a command." (1 Corinthians 7:6 LSB)
What is the "concession"? It is the permission for temporary abstinence for prayer mentioned in verse 5. It is not a command that couples must do this, but a concession that they may. The command is to render the marital debt. The concession is the narrow, temporary exception to that command. He is not, as some have argued, saying that marriage itself is a concession to human weakness. Marriage is a divine institution, established at creation. The concession is the brief pause in marital relations, not the relations themselves.
He concludes this section by returning to the subject of singleness, framing it as a divine gift, but a rare one.
"Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one this way, and another that." (1 Corinthians 7:7 LSB)
Paul wishes everyone had his gift of celibacy. Why? Because, as he will explain later in the chapter, it freed him from worldly cares and allowed him to be entirely devoted to the Lord's work. It was a strategic advantage for his apostolic mission. But he immediately acknowledges that this is not the reality. "However, each man has his own gift from God." The word for gift here is charisma, a grace-gift from the Holy Spirit. Some are gifted for celibacy, like Paul. Most are gifted for marriage. Both are good gifts from God, to be used for His glory. The error is to confuse the two. If you have the gift of celibacy, marriage would be a distraction. But if you do not have the gift of celibacy, then singleness is the distraction. It is the place where you will burn with passions that God intended to be fulfilled in the marriage covenant.
Our task, then, is not to covet a gift we do not have, but to faithfully steward the one we have been given. For most, that means pursuing marriage, entering into it joyfully, and fulfilling its obligations faithfully, recognizing that in doing so, we are not settling for second best, but are walking in the primary, creational path that God has laid out for the blessing of His people and the building of His kingdom.
Conclusion: A Covenant of Bodies
In these seven verses, Paul has laid a foundation for a Christian theology of marriage that is both profoundly spiritual and robustly physical. Marriage is not a contract between two autonomous individuals who agree to share a mortgage. It is a one-flesh covenant where two people belong to each other, body and soul. The marriage bed is not a place for selfish gratification or a tool for manipulation; it is a table of covenant renewal, a place of mutual service, and a fortress against the devil.
Our culture preaches a gospel of sexual freedom that leads only to bondage, loneliness, and despair. It tells you that your body is your own, to do with as you please. The Bible teaches a gospel of covenantal belonging that leads to true freedom, intimacy, and fruitfulness. It tells you that if you are in Christ, you are not your own, for you were bought with a price. And if you are married in Christ, you are doubly not your own, for you have been given to another. This is not a burden, but a glory. It is the glory of giving and receiving, of knowing and being known, of serving and being served. It is in this mutual surrender of our bodies that we image the selfless love of Christ, who gave His own body for His bride, the Church.