A Wall or a Door: The Covenantal Duty of Purity
Introduction: The Family as a Fortress
The Song of Solomon is a book that makes modern evangelicals blush, and because they blush, they run in one of two wrong directions. They either treat it as a strange, mystical allegory where the two breasts of the Shulamite are the Old and New Testaments, or they treat it as a slightly embarrassing but necessary manual for the marriage bed, to be read under the covers with a flashlight. Both approaches miss the glorious point. This book is a celebration of covenantal love between a man and a woman, a love that is earthy, passionate, exclusive, and profoundly theological. It is theological because it is a living, breathing portrait of the gospel. Christ is the husband, and the Church is His bride. Every godly marriage is a small echo of that great romance.
But this great romance does not happen in a vacuum. It is cultivated, protected, and nurtured within the covenant community, and particularly within the family. Our secular age believes that romance is something that just happens to you, like catching a cold. You "fall" in love. The Bible teaches that love is something you build. It is a structure, a fortress, a garden. And the family, particularly the fathers and brothers, are the master builders and sentinels of that structure.
We live in a time of profound confusion about what it means to be a man or a woman. Our culture is dedicated to erasing every meaningful distinction that God has written into the created order. The result is not liberation, but chaos. It is the world of tohu wa-bohu come again. Young women are told to be strong and independent, which in practice means to be promiscuous and perpetually adolescent. Young men are told to be soft and sensitive, which in practice means to be effeminate and passive. Into this mess, the Word of God speaks with bracing clarity. It assigns roles, duties, and responsibilities. And in our text today, we see the family, specifically the brothers, taking up their God-given duty to protect the purity and prepare for the marriage of their "little sister."
This is not some outdated, patriarchal relic. This is timeless covenantal wisdom. This is the practical outworking of what it means to love your sister in the Lord. It is the recognition that a young woman’s purity is a precious treasure, a garden to be guarded, a fortress to be defended. And the question before every Christian family, before every brother, is the one posed in our text: what shall we do for our sister?
The Text
"We have a little sister, And she has no breasts; What shall we do for our sister On the day when she is spoken for?
If she is a wall, We will build on her a battlement of silver; But if she is a door, We will barricade her with planks of cedar."
"I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; Then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace."
(Song of Solomon 8:8-10 LSB)
The Covenantal Concern (v. 8)
We begin with the brothers' deliberation:
"We have a little sister, And she has no breasts; What shall we do for our sister On the day when she is spoken for?" (Song of Solomon 8:8)
The scene here is a family council. The older brothers are discussing their younger sister. The phrase "she has no breasts" is a plain way of saying she is not yet physically mature. She is young, prepubescent. But notice their foresight. They are not waiting until she is in the thick of courtship, beset by suitors, to decide on a plan. They are thinking ahead. They are asking, "What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for?" This is proactive, covenantal headship. They understand that their duty is to prepare her for a godly marriage long before that day arrives.
This is a direct rebuke to the pathetic abdication of modern fathers and brothers. In our day, a young woman’s romantic life is considered her own private affair. The family’s only role is to awkwardly meet the boyfriend after they are already emotionally entangled and often physically compromised. The biblical pattern is entirely different. The family, under the leadership of the father, is the guardian of the daughter. They are responsible for her protection, her training, and for her eventual transfer to a qualified husband.
The brothers' question is not "How can we control her?" but "What shall we do for her?" Their concern is her well being, her future, her shalom. They see her not as a project to be managed, but as a sister to be cherished and protected. This is true patriarchy. Not the domineering, abusive caricature of the feminists, but a loving, sacrificial, protective headship that takes responsibility for the flourishing of those under its care. They are planning for the day she will be "spoken for," the day of her betrothal. They know that day is coming, and they intend to be ready.
The Two Metaphors: Wall or Door (v. 9)
Next, the brothers lay out their strategy, using two powerful architectural metaphors.
"If she is a wall, We will build on her a battlement of silver; But if she is a door, We will barricade her with planks of cedar." (Song of Solomon 8:9 LSB)
Here we have two possible character developments for their sister as she matures. She will either be a "wall" or a "door." A wall is a picture of fortitude, stability, and principled resistance. A wall is not easily moved. It is a defensive structure. A young woman who is a wall is one who is chaste, discreet, and self-possessed. She has internalized the law of God. She is not swayed by flattery or lust. She guards her own heart and body because she knows she belongs to the Lord, and one day, to her husband.
If she proves to be a wall, what will the brothers do? They will "build on her a battlement of silver." A battlement is the top part of a castle wall, where the defenders stand. Silver is a metal of beauty and value. In other words, they will honor her. They will adorn her strength. They will praise her character and add to her glory. They will give her a reputation that shines. A young woman of such character will not need to be locked up, because her own virtue is her strongest defense. Her family’s role is to celebrate and embellish that virtue, making her all the more honorable in the eyes of worthy suitors.
But what if she is a "door"? A door is made to be opened. It swings on its hinges. It is a picture of accessibility, instability, and a lack of discretion. A young woman who is a door is one who is easily swayed, flirtatious, and open to improper advances. She is an easy conquest. She does not guard her heart. She is vulnerable.
If she is a door, what is the plan? "We will barricade her with planks of cedar." Cedar is a strong, durable wood. To barricade a door is to reinforce it, to block it up, to restrict access. This is not punitive; it is protective. If she will not guard herself, her brothers will do it for her. They will set up hedges, rules, and chaperones. They will limit her associations. They will stand guard. They are not doing this to be cruel, but because they love her and want to protect her from her own folly and from the predatory men who would take advantage of her. They are providing external strength where internal strength is lacking. The goal, of course, is that she would learn to become a wall herself. This is loving discipline.
The Shulamite’s Testimony (v. 10)
The final verse of our text is the Shulamite’s own triumphant declaration. She is no longer the "little sister" being discussed; she is a mature woman, looking back on her upbringing.
"I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; Then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace." (Song of Solomon 8:10 LSB)
She joyfully proclaims, "I was a wall." The family’s faithful training and her own cooperation with that training bore fruit. She developed the character of a wall. She maintained her purity and her integrity. And notice the result. She says her breasts, a sign of her maturity, "were like towers." Towers are part of a city's defenses. They are high, strong, and afford a view of any coming threat. Her mature beauty was not a "door" for any passing fool, but a fortified part of her own well-defended character. She owned her beauty; it did not own her.
Because she was a wall, she was not a perpetual battlefield. She did not have a chaotic, drama-filled adolescence full of heartbreak and compromise. She was not a project for her brothers to constantly shore up. Instead, she says, "Then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace." The "his" here refers to her beloved, Solomon. Because she brought this strength and purity into her marriage, she was a source of peace, of shalom, to her husband. She was not a source of constant worry or insecurity. He could trust her. Their relationship was a haven, not a war zone.
This is the goal of Christian discipleship for our daughters. We are to raise them to be walls, not doors. A woman who cultivates this fortified character is a blessing to everyone. She honors her father, brings joy to her husband, and finds deep contentment, shalom, herself. A woman who is a door, however, brings chaos and strife wherever she goes. She is a grief to her family and a snare to men. The world tells women that freedom is found in being a perpetually open door. God tells us that true peace is found in being a well-defended wall.
Conclusion: Building Walls in a World of Doors
This passage is a charge to the Christian family, and particularly to the men. Fathers and brothers, you have a divine commission. You are to be theologians and architects of character in your home. You must ask the question, "What shall we do for our sister?" And you must have a plan.
This means you must teach your daughters the Word of God. They must understand the covenantal nature of sex and marriage. They must be taught that their bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, not public property. You must model for them what a godly man looks like, so they will not fall for the cheap imitations the world offers. And you must protect them. You must be willing to be the "bad guy" who says no, who sets boundaries, who investigates the young men who come sniffing around.
And to the young women, I say this: embrace this vision. Do not resent the protection of your family. Do not buy the world’s lie that your value is in your sexual accessibility. Your value is in your identity in Christ. Aspire to be a wall. Cultivate inner strength, discretion, and a quiet and gentle spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. Adorn yourself with the battlement of silver that is a godly reputation.
When a family takes up this duty, and a daughter embraces this calling, the result is peace. It is the shalom that the Shulamite found in the eyes of her beloved. This is the kind of strength that builds strong marriages, strong churches, and a strong culture. The world is busy tearing down all the walls and barricading all the wrong doors. Let us be a people who are diligently, joyfully, and covenantally building.