Commentary - Song of Songs 8:1-4

Bird's-eye view

In this portion of the Song, the Shulamite bride expresses a deep and settled longing for a kind of public legitimacy for her affections. This is not the flighty passion of a new romance, but the mature desire of a love that has been tested and has endured. She wants to be able to show her love for her husband without shame or censure, as freely as a sister might show affection for a brother. This is a picture of sanctified desire, a love that is not only for the marriage bed, but for the public square. It is a love that is unashamed because it is covenantal. The passage culminates in a solemn charge, a repeated refrain in this book, to not awaken love until it is the proper time. This is a crucial warning against stirring up synthetic or premature affections, a warning our own age has entirely forgotten how to heed.

The overarching theme here is the glory of a love that is both intensely personal and publicly honorable. It is a picture of the Church's love for Christ. We long for the day when our love for Him will no longer be a private affair, but will be the acknowledged reality of the entire cosmos. We long for the day of the marriage supper of the Lamb, where our kisses will not be despised. But until that day, we are warned not to force it, not to gin up revival with our own emotional energies, but to wait for the divine timing. Love must be true, and true love respects God's appointed seasons.

Outline

Clause-by-Clause Commentary

v. 1 Oh that you were like a brother to me Who nursed at my mother’s breasts. If I found you outside, I would kiss you; No one would despise me, either.

The bride begins with a startling wish. She does not wish her husband were not her husband. Rather, she wishes for an additional relationship to be layered on top of the marital one. She wants the public freedom of a sister with a brother. In that culture, the public displays of affection between a husband and wife were circumscribed, and rightly so. But the affection between a brother and sister, who shared the intimacy of the same family and the same nursing mother, was open and unembarrassed. She wants to be able to kiss him in the street, in broad daylight, without inviting scorn or lewd speculation. This is not a desire to de-sexualize their relationship, but to sanctify it completely, so that its public expression is as pure and unashamed as its private expression is passionate. She wants all shame removed from her love. This is a gospel desire. This is what Christ has done for His bride, the Church. He has taken away our shame, and will one day present us spotless before the watching world, and our love for Him will be the central reality of the new heavens and new earth, with no one to despise us.

v. 2 I would lead you and bring you Into the house of my mother, who used to teach me; I would give you spiced wine to drink from the sweet wine of my pomegranates.

Her desire continues. She would not just greet him in the street, but she would lead him, take him by the hand, and bring him into the most intimate and foundational place of her history, her mother's house. This is the place where she was formed, taught, and raised. She wants to integrate her husband into every part of her life, her past as well as her present. This is a picture of total, covenantal union. Nothing is held back. And there, in that place of her origins, she would become the hostess, the provider of delights. She would serve him spiced wine and the juice of her pomegranates. This is rich, poetic language for the deepest marital intimacy. She is offering him the very best of what she has, the fruit of her own garden, as it were. This is a beautiful picture of a wife's glad and generous response to her husband's love. She is not a passive recipient, but an active and joyful giver. She leads, she brings, she gives. This mirrors the Church, which, having been brought into the Father's house by Christ, now offers up to Him the fruit of her life, the worship and obedience that flows from a grateful heart.

v. 3 Let his left hand be under my head And his right hand embrace me.

This verse is a refrain, appearing earlier in the Song (2:6). Its repetition here signifies a return to a place of deep contentment and security. After the longing for public legitimacy and the desire to give of herself completely, she rests in his embrace. This is the quiet center of the storm of passion. His left hand is under her head, supporting her. His right hand embraces her, protecting and cherishing her. This is a posture of absolute trust and peace. She is completely secure in his love. This is the rest that every believer has in Christ. In a world of chaos and striving, we are supported by His everlasting arms. He is our foundation and our security. All our longings, all our service, must ultimately find their end in this quiet rest. We do not work for His embrace, but from it. This is the difference between religion and gospel. Religion strives to earn the embrace; the gospel announces that the embrace is already ours in Christ, and we are now free to love and serve from a position of absolute security.

v. 4 I call you to solemnly swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, Why should you arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases?

And here we have the final refrain, the solemn charge to the daughters of Jerusalem. Having described the heights of covenantal love, a love that is public, generous, and secure, she turns to the onlookers and gives them a stark warning. Do not try to replicate this by your own efforts. Do not stir up love, do not awaken it, before its time. The Hebrew here is emphatic. This is a serious oath. Love is a powerful, dangerous thing, like fire. If you try to start it with damp wood and no kindling, you will get nothing but smoke and frustration. But when it catches on its own God-appointed fuel, at its God-appointed time, it is an unquenchable flame. Our culture is built on the foolishness of awakening love for every trivial cause, for every fleeting fancy. We are constantly trying to arouse passions that are not rooted in covenant, in truth, in God's timing. The result is a world full of heartache, brokenness, and cynicism. The Shulamite knows that the love she shares with her beloved is a sovereign gift. It cannot be manufactured or manipulated. It must arise when "she pleases," when the time is right. For the Church, this is a warning against triumphalism and man-made revivalism. We are to be faithful, we are to preach the gospel, but we cannot force the results. We must wait for the Spirit to move, for love to awaken as He pleases. We rest in the embrace, and we wait for the King.

Application

There are three central applications for us in this text. First, we must cultivate a love that is unashamed. The bride's desire to kiss her husband in public should challenge us. Is our love for Christ something we keep under wraps, something for Sunday mornings only? Or are we willing to be identified with Him in the public square, at our jobs, in our neighborhoods, without fear of being despised? True affection for Jesus is not a private hobby; it is a public allegiance.

Second, our love must be generous and hospitable. The bride wants to bring her beloved into her mother's house and give him the best she has. In our marriages, this means a wife gladly and freely giving of herself to her husband, making her heart and home a place of delight for him. In our relationship with Christ, it means bringing Him into every room of our lives, holding nothing back, and offering Him the sweet wine of our best worship and our most dedicated service.

Finally, we must learn the discipline of waiting. In an age of instant gratification, the charge not to awaken love until the time is right is profoundly counter-cultural. We must refuse to be manipulated by cheap emotionalism, whether in our romantic pursuits or in our spiritual lives. True, lasting, covenantal love is a work of God's sovereign timing. Our task is to be faithful in the place of embrace, trusting that He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion in His perfect time. We are to rest in His finished work, and from that place of rest, love Him with everything we have, waiting patiently for the day when we will kiss the Son in the streets of the New Jerusalem, and no one will despise us.