The Grammar of Godly Desire Text: Song of Solomon 1:8-17
Introduction: A War Over Love Songs
We live in a world that is drowning in love songs, and yet has never been more ignorant of love. Our culture treats erotic love as either a trivial biological urge to be managed, or a gnostic quest for self-discovery to be worshipped. It is either plumbing or a sacrament of the self. In either case, it is a dead end. The first leads to the sterile mechanics of the pornographer, and the second to the narcissistic navel-gazing of the gender ideologue. Both are profoundly anti-human because they are profoundly anti-Christ.
Into this confusion, the Song of Solomon lands like a meteor. This book is God's inspired love song, and it is a declaration of war against two opposing heresies: the heresy of the prude and the heresy of the pervert. The prude sees the body as a trap and desire as a danger, and so seeks to spiritualize this book into a bloodless allegory, terrified of what it actually says. The pervert sees the body as a playground and desire as a god, and so seeks to read this book as a mere erotic poem, deaf to its heavenly echoes. Both are wrong.
The Song of Solomon is a full-throated celebration of covenantal, heterosexual, erotic love. It is earthy, passionate, and gloriously physical. But because it is set within the created order, it cannot help but point beyond itself to the Creator and His ultimate love story, which is the romance between Christ and His bride, the Church. The earthly marriage is the icon of the heavenly marriage. To deny the literal meaning is to become a Gnostic. To deny the typological meaning is to become a materialist. We are Christians, and so we must refuse both.
This passage is a beautiful, back-and-forth exchange between the lovers. It teaches us the grammar of godly desire. It is a conversation, a mutual admiration, a dance of words that builds a world of shared love. This is what our world is starving for, a love that can speak, a love that can see, a love that can build a home.
The Text
"If you yourself do not know, Most beautiful among women, Go forth on the trail of the flock And pasture your young goats By the dwellings of the shepherds. To a mare of mine among the chariots of Pharaoh I compare you, O my darling. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with strings of beads." "We will make for you ornaments of gold With beads of silver." "While the king was at his banqueting table, My perfume gave forth its fragrance. My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms In the vineyards of Engedi." "Behold, you are beautiful, my darling, Behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are like doves." "Behold, you are handsome, my beloved, Indeed, so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant! The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses."
(Song of Solomon 1:8-17 LSB)
The Shepherd's Practical Guidance (v. 8)
The exchange picks up with his answer to her question from the previous verse, where she asked where she could find him. His answer is both affectionate and profoundly practical.
"If you yourself do not know, Most beautiful among women, Go forth on the trail of the flock And pasture your young goats By the dwellings of the shepherds." (Song of Solomon 1:8)
First, notice his address to her: "Most beautiful among women." This is not empty flattery; it is his settled conviction. For him, she is the superlative. This is the logic of covenant love. A husband is to look upon his own wife as the most beautiful among women. This is not a denial of objective reality, but the establishment of a covenantal reality. His gaze sanctifies her, sets her apart.
His direction is not mystical or esoteric. He doesn't tell her to look for a sign or follow her heart into the wilderness. He tells her to go to work in the ordinary place, among the ordinary people of God. "Go forth on the trail of the flock... by the dwellings of the shepherds." In other words, if you want to find me, be found in the place of faithfulness. Be with the flock. Be where the shepherds are. This is a direct rebuke to all forms of hyper-spiritualized nonsense. Intimacy with Christ is not found by abandoning the means of grace. It is found in the faithful, plodding, ordinary life of the visible church. You find the Chief Shepherd by staying with His under-shepherds and His flock.
His Captivated Praise (vv. 9-11)
He then moves from practical direction to poetic adoration. He sees her not just as a faithful shepherdess, but as royalty.
"To a mare of mine among the chariots of Pharaoh I compare you, O my darling. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with strings of beads." (Song of Solomon 1:9-10 LSB)
To our modern ears, being compared to a horse might seem like a backhanded compliment. But this is a failure of our imagination, not his. Pharaoh's chariot horses were the Ferraris of the ancient world, symbols of supreme power, beauty, and value. A single mare let loose among the stallions of Pharaoh's cavalry would have caused a glorious, beautiful chaos. She would have been utterly captivating, turning the heads of the most powerful war machines on earth. He is saying, "You are stunning. You have a disruptive, regal beauty that commands attention."
He notices the details. He sees her cheeks, her neck, the way the ornaments and beads adorn her. He is paying attention. A godly husband learns to be a student of his wife's beauty. Then, in verse 11, this private admiration becomes a public commitment. "We will make for you ornaments of gold With beads of silver." The "we" is a royal plural, or perhaps him and his court. The point is that he intends to publicly adorn her, to lavish her with honor and beauty. This is what Christ does for the Church, clothing her in fine linen, bright and clean. And this is what a husband is to do for his wife. His love should not be a secret; it should be a public project of honoring and beautifying her.
Her Fragrant Response (vv. 12-14)
Now she responds, and her words are filled with the scent of intimate love.
"While the king was at his banqueting table, My perfume gave forth its fragrance. My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh Which lies all night between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms In the vineyards of Engedi." (Song of Solomon 1:12-14 LSB)
Her love is responsive. When he is in his rightful place, "at his banqueting table," in his position of honor, her own essence, her "perfume," is released as a fragrant offering. A wife's glory is intimately tied to her husband's honorable headship. His presence and position unlock her fragrance.
She describes him as a "pouch of myrrh" that lies between her breasts all night. Myrrh was a costly, precious resin. She holds him in the most intimate place, close to her heart, through the vulnerability of the night. He is her treasure, her constant comfort. Then she calls him a "cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi." Engedi was a famous, lush oasis in the midst of the Judean desert. He is her life, her refreshment, her beauty in a barren world. This is what a husband is to his wife, and what Christ is to His people. He is an oasis of life in the wilderness of this world.
The Gaze of Mutual Admiration (vv. 15-17)
The exchange culminates in a rapid, back-and-forth volley of mutual praise, a shared vision of their life together.
"Behold, you are beautiful, my darling, Behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are like doves." (Song of Solomon 1:15 LSB)
He interrupts to praise her again. The word "Behold" is a command to stop and see. He is struck by her beauty. The repetition, "you are beautiful... you are beautiful," is for emphasis. He is overwhelmed. He specifies her eyes, calling them doves. A dove's eyes are gentle, soft, and loyal. They do not have the predatory gaze of a hawk. He sees her undivided affection and purity of heart in her eyes. This is the gaze of covenant faithfulness.
She immediately returns his "Behold" with one of her own.
"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved, Indeed, so pleasant! Indeed, our couch is luxuriant! The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses." (Song of Solomon 1:16-17 LSB)
She mirrors his admiration. This is not a one-sided affair. Her delight in his handsomeness is just as emphatic. And from this mutual admiration, she immediately moves to their shared life. "Our couch is luxuriant." The word for luxuriant is green, verdant, alive. Their place of intimacy and rest is not sterile or artificial; it is a place of life and fruitfulness. It is a garden.
And their home is built of the grandest materials of God's creation. "The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses." Cedars of Lebanon were materials for a temple. Their marriage, their home, is a sacred space. It is strong, fragrant, and enduring. Their love is not a flimsy, private affair, hidden from the world. It is a great house, built in the open air of God's creation, with the sky for a ceiling. It is a testament to the goodness of the God who created love, marriage, and the cedars of Lebanon.
Conclusion: The Love Song of the Gospel
This entire exchange is a portrait in miniature of the gospel. Christ, the great Shepherd-King, finds His bride wandering and directs her to the safety of the flock, the Church. He doesn't see her in her sin and filth; He calls her the "most beautiful among women," because He sees her through the eyes of His electing love.
He declares her to be as captivating as a royal mare, and He commits to adorning her with the gold and silver of His own righteousness and gifts. In response, the Church, His bride, finds her whole life becoming a fragrant perfume offered up to Him. She clings to Him as her precious myrrh, her life-giving oasis in the desert of this age.
He looks at her and sees, not her wavering attention, but the dove-like eyes of faith granted to her by the Holy Spirit. And she looks back at Him, the truly handsome one, and finds her rest in Him. Together, they dwell in a covenant relationship that is fruitful and alive, a great house built with the enduring timbers of His promises, a temple where God dwells with man.
This is the grammar of true love. It is verbal, specific, mutual, and covenantal. It builds a world. Our culture has lost the script. It sings its love songs into the void, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. But we have the words. We have the Song of all songs. Let us learn it, sing it in our homes, and live it out before a watching world that is dying for a love that is real.