Two Sons, Two Ways, Two Destinies Text: Proverbs 29:3
Introduction: The Economics of a Worldview
The book of Proverbs is intensely practical. It does not float in the ethereal realm of abstract platitudes; it walks on the ground, with dirt on its hands and calluses on its feet. It understands that what a man believes in his heart will inevitably show up in his checkbook, in his family tree, and in the inheritance he leaves, or fails to leave, to his grandchildren. Every worldview has economic consequences. Every theology has a budget. And in this verse, Solomon, with the sharp edge of inspired wisdom, lays before us two paths that could not be more divergent. He presents us with two sons, two value systems, and two ultimate financial statements.
This is a zero-sum game. There is no middle ground, no third way. You are either building or you are destroying. You are either cultivating life or you are embracing death. You are either loving wisdom, which results in gladness and generational fruitfulness, or you are befriending harlots, which results in ruin. Notice the stark contrast. It is not between a man who loves wisdom and a man who is simply a bit thoughtless with his money. No, the contrast is between the lover of wisdom and the companion of prostitutes. This tells us that sexual sin is not a peripheral issue, a minor character flaw. It is a direct assault on the very foundations of wisdom, family, and future. It is a worldview in action. And it is a worldview that always, without fail, leads to bankruptcy, both moral and financial.
Our secular age wants to pretend that a man's private life has no bearing on his public trust or his economic stability. They want to tell us that what a man does in the bedroom is his own business. The Bible says otherwise. The Bible says that a man's appetites, particularly his sexual appetites, are a clear indicator of his entire life's trajectory. Is he a builder or a demolitions expert? Is he planting an orchard for his grandchildren or is he salting the earth for generations to come? This verse is a diagnostic tool. It shows us that the path to a father's gladness and the path to the brothel lead in opposite directions. One is the way of life, the other the way of death.
The Text
A man who loves wisdom makes his father glad,
But he who befriends harlots destroys his wealth.
(Proverbs 29:3 LSB)
The Builder Son: The Gladness of Wisdom (v. 3a)
We begin with the first half of the proverb, the positive path.
"A man who loves wisdom makes his father glad," (Proverbs 29:3a)
The first thing to notice is the verb: "loves." This is not about a man who merely tolerates wisdom, or who dabbles in it when it is convenient. This is a man who loves it. He has an affection for it, a desire for it. Wisdom, in Proverbs, is personified as a woman, Lady Wisdom, who is to be cherished and embraced. This love for wisdom is ultimately a love for God and His created order. It is the desire to live skillfully in God's world, according to God's rules. It is the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom.
And what is the result of this love? It "makes his father glad." This is not a small thing. In a covenantal, patriarchal society, the gladness of a father is a sign of God's blessing. It means the family name is being honored. It means the inheritance will be passed down and increased. It means the son is walking in the footsteps of his father, honoring the instruction he received. This is about generational succession. A father's gladness signifies that the covenant line is secure, that the values and the faith are being transmitted to the next generation. A wise son is a living testimony to a father's faithfulness, and a source of profound joy.
This gladness is not just sentimental. It is deeply theological. When a son loves wisdom, he is aligning himself with the grain of the universe. He is building, cultivating, and producing. He is a man who can be trusted with responsibility, with a wife, with children, and with an inheritance. He understands that he is part of a story that began before him and will continue long after him. His life is not his own; it is a stewardship. This is the kind of man who builds civilizations. He is focused, disciplined, and oriented toward the future. His love for wisdom produces stability, and that stability makes his father glad because it honors God and secures the future.
The Waster Son: The Ruin of Folly (v. 3b)
Now we turn to the second man, the dark twin of the first.
"But he who befriends harlots destroys his wealth." (Proverbs 29:3b LSB)
The contrast is immediate. Instead of loving wisdom, this man "befriends harlots." The Hebrew for "befriends" means to associate with, to be a companion to. He is keeping company with folly. The harlot in Proverbs is the embodiment of the anti-wisdom. She is the strange woman who promises pleasure in the moment but whose steps lead down to Sheol. She represents the worldview of instant gratification, of life lived for the appetites, with no thought for the future, for covenant, or for consequences.
And what is the direct result of this companionship? He "destroys his wealth." The word for wealth here is not just pocket money. It is substance, capital, inheritance. The prodigal son in Jesus' parable is the perfect illustration of this verse. He took his inheritance and "squandered his wealth in wild living" (Luke 15:13), which the text later specifies was with prostitutes (Luke 15:30). Sexual sin is a fire that consumes. It is an economic black hole. A man who gives himself over to lust will find that all his other resources, his time, his energy, his focus, and his money, will be sucked into that vortex.
Why is this so? Because the man who befriends harlots has embraced a lie about the nature of reality. He believes he can have consequence-free sex, which is like believing you can have fire without heat or gravity without falling. Sex is not a recreational activity; it is a covenantal act that creates a one-flesh union. When a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one flesh with her (1 Cor. 6:16). He is creating a parody of the covenant of marriage, and in doing so, he is attacking the very institution that God designed for building families and transmitting wealth. He is a sexual socialist, dissipating what should be concentrated within the family. He doesn't build cultures; he creates economic craters. He is not just spending his money; he is destroying it. He is setting fire to his own inheritance.
Conclusion: Your Appetites Determine Your Destiny
So, we are left with this stark choice. There are only two ways to live. You can love wisdom, or you can love folly. You can build, or you can destroy. You can bring gladness to your father on earth and to your Father in Heaven, or you can bring grief and ruin.
The man who loves wisdom is a man under authority. He has disciplined his appetites. He understands that true freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want, but the strength to do what you ought. Because he can govern himself, he is fit to govern a household, a business, and a legacy. His life produces a return. It generates joy, stability, and wealth for the generations to come.
The man who befriends harlots is a man enslaved to his appetites. He has no rule over his own spirit and is therefore like a city with broken-down walls (Prov. 25:28). He is a perpetual consumer, a waster. He cannot build anything because his foundation is the shifting sand of his own lusts. He pours his life, his substance, his future, into a sieve. The end of that road is always the pigsty of the prodigal, with nothing to show for it but regret and ruin.
This proverb is a call to every young man. What do you love? What company do you keep? Your answer to those two questions will determine your entire destiny. Do you love the instruction of your father and the wisdom of your God? Then you will be a builder, a joy to your family, and a blessing to your people. Or do you keep company with the fleeting pleasures of this world, embodied by the harlot? Then you will be a destroyer, and you will waste everything God has given you.
The good news of the gospel is that the prodigal can come home. The Waster Son can be forgiven and restored by the grace of the Father, through the work of the Perfect Son, Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate lover of wisdom, the one who always made His Father glad. Through repentance and faith in Him, we can be transformed from destroyers into builders. He can give us a new heart, one that loves wisdom and hates folly. He can take our squandered lives and begin to build something beautiful and lasting for His glory. He calls us to leave the harlot of this world and to embrace His bride, the Church, and in so doing, to become men who build, and who make our Father glad.