Bird's-eye view
In Proverbs 25:21-22, we are given a piece of ethical instruction that cuts straight across the grain of our fallen human impulses. When someone has established himself as your enemy, the natural man wants to get his own back. He wants to see his enemy hungry and thirsty. But here, the wisdom of God commands the opposite: active benevolence toward your adversary. This is not some sentimental niceness; it is a profound act of spiritual warfare, conducted in accordance with God's perfect justice.
The apostle Paul quotes this very passage in Romans 12, which provides the crucial interpretive key. This command to feed your enemy is not about ignoring the wrong that was done, but about handing the case over to the supreme court of Heaven. By showing kindness, the believer steps aside and makes room for the wrath of God. This passage demolishes the common and faulty assumption that the Old Testament taught a brutish ethic that Jesus later softened. Not a bit of it. The gospel ethic of enemy love is right here in the Proverbs, deeply rooted in the character and justice of Yahweh.
Clause-by-Clause Commentary
v. 21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
The setup here is simple and stark. The person in question is not a friend, not a neutral party, but an enemy. This is someone who has likely wronged you, who wishes you ill. The natural response, the response of the flesh, is to gloat over his misfortune. If he's hungry, our sinful inclination is to say, "Good. Serves him right." But the divine command is to intervene directly and benevolently. You are to be the agent of his relief. Give him food. Give him water.
This is a concrete action, not a warm feeling. It is a practical demonstration of a supernatural ethic. This is not about pretending the enmity does not exist. The text assumes the enmity is real. The action required is a direct contradiction of what the enmity demands from us. This is a gospel-shaped response. God did not wait for us to become His friends before He acted on our behalf. "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8). We were enemies, and He gave us the Bread of Heaven and the Water of Life. Our kindness to our enemies is therefore a direct imitation of God's grace to us.
v. 22 For you will heap burning coals on his head,
Now we come to the difficult part, the part that modern sensibilities tend to choke on. What in the world does it mean to heap burning coals on someone's head? Many suggestions have been offered. Some say it refers to an Egyptian ritual of repentance where a person would carry a pan of hot coals on their head. Others suggest it is simply another kindness, like giving a man coals to start his fire at home. Still others think it refers to the burning shame the enemy will feel in the face of your unexpected kindness.
But the context, especially as Paul uses it in Romans 12, points to something far more severe. Paul quotes this proverb right after saying, "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord" (Rom. 12:19). Your act of kindness is not the vengeance, but it is what clears the way for God's vengeance. You are not taking matters into your own hands. You are formally handing the case over to the Judge who judges righteously. Your kindness is a precursor to the wrath of God. You are leaving the room so that God can work. The burning coals are not your shame, but God's judgment. Think of Psalm 140:10: "Let burning coals fall upon them; Let them be cast into the fire." You are not exacting the penalty, but your righteous actions in the face of evil ensure that the penalty will be justly exacted by the One to whom vengeance belongs.
And Yahweh will repay you.
This final clause seals the matter. There are two ways this can be taken, and both are true. First, Yahweh will reward your obedience. Your refusal to take personal vengeance, your willingness to do good to those who hate you, is an act of faith that God sees and will honor. You are trusting His process and His justice, and He will not forget your labor of love.
But second, and in line with the previous clause, Yahweh will repay the enemy. He will settle the account. The reason you are not to repay evil for evil is that God has promised that He will do the repaying. And His payment is always perfect, just, and right. This frees you from the soul-corroding poison of bitterness and resentment. You don't have to carry the burden of getting even. You can feed your enemy, give him a drink, and walk away in the confident assurance that the God of justice has the matter entirely in hand. He will repay. He will reward your righteousness, and He will deal with the sin of your enemy. The whole transaction is in His hands, which is right where it belongs.
Application
The application of this passage is profoundly counter-cultural and deeply sanctifying. First, we must reject the world's counsel on how to treat our enemies. The world says to cancel them, dox them, ruin them, get revenge. The Christian is commanded to serve them in their time of basic need. This requires a heart transformed by the gospel, one that understands it was an enemy of God before being reconciled by Christ.
Second, we must learn the crucial distinction between personal vengeance and God's righteous judgment. We are forbidden to take up the former, and we are commanded to trust in the latter. This means when we are wronged, our first move should not be to plot retaliation but to pray, "Vengeance is yours, Lord." Then, having handed the case over to Him, we are free to act with benevolence. This might mean a literal meal, or it might mean refusing to slander an enemy, or speaking a kind word when a harsh one is expected.
Finally, this passage teaches us to live in freedom. The desire for revenge is a heavy chain. It consumes your thoughts and embitters your soul. By obeying this proverb, you hand that chain over to God. You are free to love, free to serve, and free to trust, knowing that the ultimate accounts of the universe are kept by a perfectly just God who will settle every debt. Your kindness does not erase the sin, but it does place it squarely in the hands of the only One qualified to deal with it.