The Sweet Poison of Too Much: Wisdom in Moderation Text: Proverbs 25:16-17
Introduction: The Lost Art of Enough
We live in an age of excess. Our entire culture is a monument to the unbridled appetite. Whether it is the lust for more stuff, more entertainment, more affirmation, or more experiences, the modern man is a glutton. He is a man who has lost the definition of the word "enough." He believes that if something is good, then more of it must be better. And if more is better, then an endless supply must be best of all. This is the logic of the addict, and it is the operating system of our entire civilization.
But the book of Proverbs, which is God's own instruction manual for skillful living, stands as a stark rebuke to this entire mindset. Wisdom is not found in excess. Wisdom is found in knowing the proper measure of things. Wisdom understands that even the best things, when consumed without restraint, become toxic. A good fire can warm a house, but an uncontrolled fire will burn it to the ground. Good medicine can heal, but too much becomes poison. And a good friendship can be a source of life, but even that can be suffocated by a lack of wisdom.
The wisdom of God is intensely practical. It does not float in the ethereal realm of abstract principles; it gets right down to the level of your appetites and your social calendar. It tells you how to eat and how to interact with your friends. Why? Because how you handle these seemingly small things reveals the true state of your heart. Your approach to a honeycomb or your neighbor's welcome mat is a diagnostic tool. It shows whether you are governed by the Spirit of God, who produces self-control, or by the spirit of the age, which is the spirit of unrestrained consumption.
In these two seemingly simple proverbs, Solomon gives us a master class in the wisdom of moderation. He addresses two fundamental areas of life: our personal appetites and our social relationships. And in both, the lesson is the same. A lack of self-control and a failure to recognize boundaries will turn a blessing into a curse. It will turn sweetness to vomit and a friend into an enemy.
The Text
Have you found honey? Eat only enough for you, Lest you have more than your fill and vomit it.
Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor’s house, Lest he have more than his fill of you and hate you.
(Proverbs 25:16-17 LSB)
The Parable of the Honeycomb (v. 16)
We begin with the internal, personal application of this wisdom.
"Have you found honey? Eat only enough for you, Lest you have more than your fill and vomit it." (Proverbs 25:16)
In the ancient world, honey was the pinnacle of natural sweetness. It was a blessing, a gift, a picture of delight and abundance. Finding a honeycomb was like striking gold. The natural, fallen impulse would be to gorge oneself. You found it, it's yours, so eat until you can't move. This is the logic of the flesh.
But wisdom speaks a different word: "Eat only enough for you." This is the principle of godly moderation. God is not an ascetic. He is not against pleasure. He is the one who invented honey. He wants us to enjoy His good gifts. The Bible commands us to feast and rejoice. But He commands us to do so within the boundaries of His design. The problem is not the honey; the problem is the unrestrained appetite. The problem is when our desires, which are meant to be servants, become our masters.
Notice the consequence of gluttony. It's not just a stomach ache. The text is graphic: "Lest you have more than your fill and vomit it." The very thing that was a source of intense pleasure becomes a source of violent revulsion. You not only lose the pleasure of the honey, but you become sickened by it. The blessing, through your sin, has become a curse. This is a law of the universe. When you abuse God's good gifts, you don't just lose the gift; you turn it into an object of disgust. Think of the man who gives himself over to lust. The thing he once craved becomes a source of shame and self-loathing. Think of the drunkard. The drink he once loved becomes the master that destroys his life, his family, and his health.
This proverb is about far more than just honey. It is about every good gift God gives us. Food, drink, leisure, entertainment, work, even ministry. All of these are good things. But any of them, pursued without the restraint of biblical wisdom, can become an idol that makes us sick. The man who works 80 hours a week out of greed or pride is a glutton for work. The woman who binges on entertainment to escape reality is a glutton for distraction. The principle is this: wisdom knows when to say when. Folly only knows the word "more."
The Wisdom of the Welcome Mat (v. 17)
From the internal world of our appetites, Solomon moves to the external world of our relationships. The principle is identical, but the application is social.
"Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor’s house, Lest he have more than his fill of you and hate you." (Proverbs 25:17 LSB)
Now, we must be careful here. The Bible is filled with commands to be hospitable, to love one another, to bear one another's burdens, and to be knit together in close fellowship. This proverb is not a command to be a hermit. It is not a justification for rugged individualism or for neglecting the body of Christ. We are commanded to be a people who are in and out of one another's homes. Paul says to be "given to hospitality" (Romans 12:13).
So what is this proverb teaching? It is teaching social wisdom. It is teaching the art of not being a burden. Just as too much honey makes you sick, too much of your presence can make your neighbor sick of you. The word "rarely" here means we should not be pests. We should not wear out our welcome. There is a fine line between being a faithful friend and being a needy nuisance. Wisdom knows where that line is.
Look at the consequence. It is just as severe as the first proverb. "Lest he have more than his fill of you and hate you." This is a shocking statement. A good thing, friendship, can be turned into its polar opposite, hatred, through a lack of wisdom. The person who is always dropping by unannounced, who stays too long, who talks too much, who takes without giving, who assumes upon the friendship without respecting the other person's time, family, and responsibilities, is a friendship glutton. He is consuming the relationship without thought. And eventually, the friend who once gladly opened the door will begin to dread the sound of his footsteps.
This requires discernment. Some friendships are deeper and can bear more frequent contact. Others require more space. But the principle is about being considerate. It's about loving your neighbor enough to not become a constant imposition. It is a call to self-awareness. Are you a blessing when you arrive and a blessing when you leave? Or is your departure the greater blessing of the two? True friendship is a two-way street, built on mutual respect and service, not on one person's constant consumption of the other's time and energy.
Putting It All Together: The Gospel of Enough
These two proverbs are like two pillars holding up the same truth. Whether it is honey for your stomach or the fellowship of a friend, the principle is the same: blessings have boundaries. To enjoy the blessing, you must honor the boundary. To violate the boundary is to destroy the blessing.
This wisdom is impossible for the natural man. The unregenerate heart is a black hole of desire. It is never satisfied. It always wants more. John D. Rockefeller, when asked how much money was enough, famously replied, "Just a little bit more." That is the cry of the fallen heart. Just a little more pleasure, a little more attention, a little more comfort, a little more control.
But the gospel comes and speaks a radical word into our restless consumption. The gospel tells us that in Christ, we already have enough. In fact, we have more than enough. "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work" (2 Corinthians 9:8). All sufficiency. In all things. At all times. That is the Christian's reality.
The reason we can say "enough" to the honeycomb is because we have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He is sweeter than the honeycomb. The reason we can give our friends space is because our ultimate need for fellowship is met in communion with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are not relational vampires, because we drink from the fountain of living water.
Conclusion: The Fruit of Self-Control
The world preaches self-expression. The Bible preaches self-control. But we must understand what biblical self-control is. It is not a grim, white-knuckled act of willpower. It is not the stoic's suppression of desire. Biblical self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:23). It is something that God works in us as we are transformed by the gospel.
When you are truly satisfied in Christ, you are freed from the tyranny of your appetites. You are free to enjoy honey as a gift, not a god. You are free to enjoy your friends as blessings, not as props for your own neediness. You are no longer driven by the desperate craving for "more," because you have the One who is more than enough.
So, look at your life. Where are you a glutton? Is it with your food? Your screen time? Your need for approval? Your presence in other people's lives? Whatever it is, recognize that it is a failure to apply this practical, earthy wisdom. And the solution is not simply to "try harder." The solution is to go back to the gospel. It is to repent of your idolatrous appetite and to feast your soul on Christ. He is the bread of life. He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother. When you are truly full of Him, you will finally have the wisdom and the power to know when you have had enough of everything else.