Commentary - Proverbs 25:16-17

Bird's-eye view

These two proverbs, set side-by-side, are a masterful lesson in the wisdom of moderation. At first glance, they appear to address two unrelated topics: eating honey and visiting a neighbor. But the Spirit has placed them together to teach us a single, crucial principle about boundaries and the danger of excess. Both verses hinge on the phrase "have more than your fill" or "have his fill," warning that even a good thing, when overdone, becomes a bad thing. Honey, a delightful gift from God, can turn to vomit. Friendship, a cornerstone of godly community, can curdle into hatred. The underlying lesson is about self-control, which is not a grim asceticism but rather the wisdom to enjoy God's gifts rightly, without turning them into idols or instruments of our own ruin. This is practical, shoe-leather sanctification, reminding us that godliness involves knowing when to say "when" in all areas of life.

The wisdom here is profoundly counter-cultural. Our age is one of unrestrained appetites, whether for food, entertainment, or social interaction. We are told to "follow our hearts" and "binge" whatever we desire. But Scripture teaches that the man who cannot rule his own spirit is like a city with broken-down walls, defenseless against attack. These proverbs are about building those walls. They teach us to govern our appetites and our social interactions with prudence, lest we destroy both the gifts and our enjoyment of them.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

This section of Proverbs, beginning at chapter 25, is introduced as "proverbs of Solomon which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied." This indicates a later, deliberate compilation of Solomon's wisdom, likely organized for the instruction of the royal court and the people. These are not random sayings but a curated collection. The immediate context is a series of proverbs that deal with relational wisdom, particularly in the presence of rulers and neighbors (Prov 25:6-15). These two verses fit neatly into that stream of thought, extending the principle of wise conduct from the king's court to your neighbor's living room, and from social decorum to the even more fundamental issue of personal appetite. The common thread is self-governance for the sake of preserving good things, whether it be a royal favor, a friendship, or the simple pleasure of a sweet treat.

Key Issues

Good Things Curdled

The world God made is chock-full of good things. Honey is a biblical emblem of sweetness, blessing, and the goodness of the promised land. Friendship is a non-negotiable aspect of a healthy Christian life; we are commanded to love our neighbor and to live in fellowship. But sin has a way of taking God's very good gifts and twisting them into instruments of our own misery. And one of the primary ways it does this is through the sin of excess.

Gluttony is not simply eating. It is an inordinate desire for food, one that pushes past God's boundaries of "enough." It makes an idol of the belly. In the same way, a social busybody doesn't just love people; he has an inordinate desire for company that smothers and eventually repels. Both sins stem from a lack of self-government. They reveal a heart that does not know how to receive a gift with gratitude and contentment, but instead tries to wring every last drop of pleasure out of it, and in the process, destroys it. These proverbs are a call to a disciplined enjoyment of God's world, where our pleasures are governed by wisdom, not by raw appetite.

Verse by Verse Commentary

16 Have you found honey? Eat only enough for you, Lest you have more than your fill and vomit it.

The proverb begins with a delightful discovery: "Have you found honey?" This is a picture of God's gracious provision. Honey in the wild was a free, unexpected blessing. The natural, unregenerate response to such a find is to gorge oneself. But wisdom steps in and says, "Eat only enough for you." The Hebrew literally says, "Eat your sufficiency." This is a call to know your limits, to practice moderation. God provides good things for our enjoyment, not for our enslavement. The warning that follows is graphic and visceral: if you eat too much, you will vomit. The very thing that was a source of intense pleasure becomes a source of sickness and revulsion. The body itself rebels against the excess. This is a physical illustration of a profound spiritual principle. Any good gift from God, when consumed without restraint, becomes toxic. Sex outside of marriage, wine to the point of drunkenness, rest to the point of sloth, the pattern is the same. The blessing, when abused, becomes a curse that our souls violently reject.

17 Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor’s house, Lest he have more than his fill of you and hate you.

The second proverb applies the exact same principle to the social realm. Friendship and community are sweet, just like honey. But just as you can have too much honey, you can have too much of a friend. The instruction is to make your visits to your neighbor infrequent, or "rare." This doesn't mean we are to be antisocial hermits. The Bible is filled with commands to hospitality and fellowship. The point is about being a nuisance, about overstaying your welcome, about a lack of social awareness. The consequence is parallel to the first proverb. Too much honey leads to physical revulsion; too much of your presence leads to relational revulsion. Your neighbor will be "satiated" with you, filled to the brim, and the result will be hatred. That is a strong word, but it accurately describes the intense dislike that can grow toward someone who constantly imposes and does not respect boundaries. He becomes a social clod. Wisdom in relationships requires knowing when to draw near and when to give space. It means valuing the friendship enough not to ruin it by smothering it.

Application

The central application for us is the cultivation of self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit. This is not something we can gin up on our own. Our natural inclination is toward excess. We are born gluttons, not just for food, but for praise, for attention, for comfort, for control. We need the Holy Spirit to work in us the grace of knowing when "enough is enough." This applies to our eating and drinking, certainly, but it also applies to our use of social media, our consumption of entertainment, our talking, and our visiting. Are we aware of our own limits? Do we respect the limits and boundaries of others?

We must see that the failure of self-control is ultimately a failure to trust God. The man who gorges on honey acts as though this is the last sweet thing he will ever taste. The man who smothers his neighbor acts as though this one person must meet all his social needs. Both are practical atheists, forgetting that God is a fountain of unending goodness and that He provides all things in their proper time and measure. The gospel frees us from this grasping desperation. In Christ, we have been given "all things" (Rom 8:32). We have access to the ultimate sweetness, fellowship with God Himself. Because we are truly full in Him, we are free to enjoy the honey of this world with an open hand, receiving it with thanks and stopping when we have had our sufficiency. We are free to love our neighbors without clinging to them, because our ultimate security is not in them, but in Christ. He is the one friend who never grows weary of us, and whose house we can enter at any time, always to be welcomed.