Commentary - Proverbs 23:26-28

Bird's-eye view

This brief passage is a dense concentration of the central plea of Proverbs. A father, speaking on behalf of God, calls his son to a total heart-level commitment, which is immediately contrasted with the archetypal temptation that seeks to steal that heart: the harlot. The passage functions as a hinge. The positive command for ultimate loyalty in verse 26 is the only possible defense against the mortal danger described in verses 27 and 28. The father is not simply giving advice on avoiding bad company; he is presenting two competing religions, two ways of life. One is the way of wisdom, which begins with a surrendered heart and finds delight in God's ordered world. The other is the way of folly, personified by the foreign woman, which offers a moment of stolen pleasure but is, in reality, a trap that leads to ruin, treachery, and death. This is not moralism; it is covenant theology in miniature. The son is being called to covenant faithfulness, and warned starkly about the alternative.

The imagery is potent and visceral. The harlot is a deep pit, a narrow well. These are not images of escape; they are images of being hopelessly trapped and drowned. She is a predator, a robber lying in wait, whose business is to multiply faithlessness in the covenant community. The father's appeal is therefore intensely personal and urgent. He is not asking for mere outward compliance, but for the son's heart, his affections, his ultimate allegiance. For where the heart goes, the eyes will follow, and the feet will not be far behind.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

This section is part of a larger collection of "the words of the wise" (Proverbs 22:17-24:34). This collection is characterized by direct address, often from a father to a son, and contains practical instructions for living a godly life. The immediate preceding verses (Prov 23:24-25) speak of the joy that a wise son brings to his father and mother. Our passage flows directly from this, with the father leveraging that relational joy to make his most fundamental request. Following this passage, the book continues with warnings against drunkenness and gluttony (Prov 23:29-35), further illustrating the ways of folly that seek to capture the son's heart. The warning against the harlot here is not isolated; she is a recurring figure throughout the book (cf. Prov 2, 5, 6, 7, 9). She is the great antagonist to Lady Wisdom, consistently representing the seductive appeal of a worldview contrary to God's covenant.

Key Issues

The Great Exchange

At the center of all biblical ethics is a great exchange. We are always giving our hearts to something. The question is never if we will worship, but what or whom we will worship. The father in this passage understands this perfectly. He does not begin with a list of prohibitions. He does not say, "My son, first and foremost, do not go to the harlot." He knows that such prohibitions, on their own, are utterly powerless against the onslaught of temptation. The only defense against a bad desire is a better desire. The only way to keep a heart from being captured by the harlot is for it to be willingly surrendered to the father, and through the father, to God Himself.

This is why the gospel is not fundamentally a set of rules, but rather the announcement of a new love. Christ does not just command us to turn from sin; He captures our affections. He wins our hearts. The father's plea here is a gospel plea. "Give me your heart" is the demand of every true lover, and it is the demand of God. When that transaction is made, when a son gives his loyalty, his trust, his affection, his very self to his father's wisdom, then his eyes are opened to see the beauty of God's ways. He begins to delight in the very things he once found burdensome. The path of righteousness becomes a path of pleasure, and the harlot's tawdry allurements are exposed for the cheap and deadly counterfeits they are.

Verse by Verse Commentary

26 Give your heart to me, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways.

Here is the foundation of all true wisdom. The address is personal and affectionate: my son. This is not an impersonal edict from a distant deity, but a plea from a father who loves his child. The command is total: Give your heart to me. The heart in Hebrew thought is not just the seat of emotion; it is the center of the will, the intellect, the entire inner person. The father is asking for complete allegiance, trust, and loyalty. This is the essence of the Shema: "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart" (Deut. 6:5). The earthly father is the deputized agent of the Heavenly Father, teaching the son what it means to surrender to loving authority.

The second clause is the direct result of the first. When the heart is given, the eyes follow. To delight in my ways means that the son's perspective is transformed. God's commandments cease to be oppressive restrictions and become, instead, pathways of genuine joy and flourishing. He learns to see the world as his father sees it, to love what his father loves. This is the goal of Christian discipleship: not just to obey the rules, but to have our desires re-calibrated so that we find our greatest pleasure in walking in God's ways.

27 For a harlot is a deep pit And a foreign woman is a narrow well.

The word For connects this verse directly to the previous plea. The father says, "Give me your heart, because if you don't, another claimant is waiting to seize it, and that way lies destruction." The harlot is presented here not as an attractive playmate but as a deadly trap. A deep pit is something you fall into and cannot escape. It speaks of sudden, irreversible ruin. The image of a narrow well is even more insidious. A well promises life-giving water, but a narrow well is one from which you cannot be rescued if you fall in. It suggests a deceptive promise that leads to claustrophobic, suffocating death. The "foreign woman" here is not a comment on ethnicity, but on covenant status. She is foreign to the covenant of God, an outsider to the ways of wisdom. Her entire worldview is alien. To be involved with her is to be trapped in a system of thought and life that is entirely at odds with God's kingdom.

28 Surely she lies in wait as a robber, And adds to the treacherous among men.

Her character is now described in active terms. She is not a passive temptation; she is a predator. She lies in wait as a robber. The young man who thinks he is the one doing the hunting, seeking out a thrill, is actually the prey. She is the one in control, waiting for a fool to wander into her ambush. What does she rob? She robs him of his future, his inheritance, his reputation, his strength, and ultimately his soul. She is a spiritual highwayman.

And her work has communal consequences. She adds to the treacherous among men. The word for treacherous here is the word for faithlessness, for covenant-breaking. Adultery is never a private sin. The man who breaks his marriage covenant, or his covenant with God by going to a harlot, becomes a traitor. He joins the ranks of the untrustworthy, the liars, the promise-breakers. The harlot's business is the multiplication of traitors. She is a one-woman insurgency against the covenant community, turning faithful men into faithless men, thereby weakening the entire social fabric. This is why the father's plea is so urgent. The son's personal decision has public ramifications.

Application

The application of this passage must begin where the passage begins: with the heart. The central battle of the Christian life is the battle for our affections. We live in a world that is one vast, sprawling advertisement for the harlot. Our culture, our entertainment, our technology, all lie in wait like a robber, seeking to steal our hearts away from God. They promise freedom, pleasure, and self-fulfillment, but they deliver us into a deep pit of addiction, loneliness, and despair.

The call to every Christian man, and particularly to young men, is to heed the father's plea. You must consciously and deliberately give your heart to God the Father through faith in the Son. This is not a one-time decision, but a daily surrender. You cannot fight the allure of the strange woman by simply gritting your teeth and trying harder. You must cultivate a greater love. You must fill your heart and mind with the ways of God until you learn to delight in them. You must learn to see the beauty of holiness, the joy of faithfulness, the strength of self-control.

When your heart belongs to Christ, your eyes will begin to see the harlot for what she is. You will see the deep pit behind the flattering smile. You will smell the stench of death beneath the perfume. You will recognize the robber's ambush in the promise of a secret thrill. The only way to be safe from the narrow well is to drink deeply from the living water that Christ offers. Give Him your heart, and He will give you eyes to see.