The Covenantal Trajectory: A Promise to Believing Parents Text: Proverbs 22:6
Introduction: The Educational Battleground
We live in an age that is utterly confused about the nature of children. One moment they are celebrated as pristine innocents, wise beyond their years, whose every whim must be indulged. The next, they are treated as blank slates upon which the state must write its progressive agenda, malleable products to be shaped for the new secular order. Both views are disastrous, and both are at war with the biblical understanding of a child. A child is not an innocent sage, nor is he a neutral lump of clay. He is a covenant creature, born with a sinful nature, but also born, for those of us who are believers, under the umbrella of God's covenant promises.
This brings us to the great battleground of our time: the education and upbringing of our children. Every educational philosophy is a theology in practice. There is no neutral ground. The state schools are not neutral; they are catechism factories for secular humanism. They are discipling our children into a worldview that is fundamentally hostile to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. For Christian parents to offer their children to this system is not just unwise; it is a profound act of disobedience. It is to hand them over to the priests of Baal and wonder why they come home smelling of smoke.
Into this confusion, the book of Proverbs speaks with startling clarity. And no verse is more central to this discussion, more debated, and more vital for parents to understand than our text today. It is a verse that has been treated by some as an ironclad, mechanistic guarantee, and by others as a flimsy, sentimental platitude. It is neither. It is a covenant promise, rooted in the faithfulness of God, that is apprehended by the faith and obedience of parents.
Many well-meaning Christian parents have been tormented by this verse. They look at a wayward child, a son or daughter who has departed from the faith, and they conclude one of two things: either God's promise failed, or they failed so catastrophically as parents that the promise was nullified. This often leads to a crushing burden of guilt or a cynical dismissal of the proverb's power. We must handle this text with care, but we must not blunt its edge in order to soothe our anxieties. It is a promise, and it is a warning, and it sets before us the glorious, weighty responsibility of covenantal nurture.
The Text
Train up a child according to his way,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
(Proverbs 22:6 LSB)
Dedicate the Child (v. 6a)
Let us first look at the command:
"Train up a child according to his way..." (Proverbs 22:6a)
The phrase "train up" is a translation of the Hebrew word chanak, which means to dedicate or to consecrate. It is the word used for the dedication of the Temple (1 Kings 8:63). This is not simply about behavior modification or skill acquisition. It is a liturgical, covenantal act. To train up a child is to dedicate that child to God, to set him apart for the Lord's service from his earliest moments. This is why we baptize our children. We are marking them, dedicating them, saying to God, "This child belongs to You. We are raising him as one of Your people." This training is not a secular enterprise with a few Bible verses sprinkled on top. It is a thoroughly God-centered, all-encompassing discipleship.
Now, what about the phrase "according to his way"? This has been the source of much confusion. One popular interpretation suggests that it means we should identify a child's unique bent or natural talents and train him in that direction. If he is artistic, make him an artist; if he is mechanical, make him an engineer. There is certainly a measure of practical wisdom in that, and a wise parent will not try to fit a square peg into a round hole. But the primary meaning here is far deeper.
"His way" refers to the way he should go, the path of wisdom, righteousness, and covenant faithfulness that God has ordained for him. It is the way of the Lord. The training is not determined by the child's sinful inclinations or even his natural aptitudes, but by God's revealed will. The child's "way" is the course of life set before him by the covenant. We are to train him in the way of a disciple of Jesus Christ. This means bringing the entirety of God's Word to bear on every aspect of his life, from his catechism to his chores, from his mathematics to his manners. We are shaping his trajectory, setting the course for his entire life.
This is a profoundly counter-cultural task. The world says, "Let the child find his own way." God says, "Dedicate the child to My way." The world promotes autonomy; the Bible commands submission to God's authority. Our goal is not to produce self-actualized individuals, but faithful covenant-keepers. We are not raising children; we are raising future men and women of God, future husbands and wives, future elders and deacons, and future parents who will do the same for the next generation.
The Covenantal Promise (v. 6b)
The second half of the verse contains the promise that flows from this obedient training.
"Even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6b)
Here is the rock of our confidence and the sharp edge of our responsibility. This is a divine promise. A proverb is not a mathematical formula, but neither is it a mere suggestion. Proverbs describe how God has ordered the world to function. This is a statement of divine cause and effect within the covenant. Faithful, God-honoring, Scripture-saturated nurture has a promised result: covenant succession.
Notice the long-term perspective: "when he is old." The fruit of this training is not always immediately apparent. There may be seasons of foolishness, rebellion, or doubt. The prodigal may spend some time in the pigsty. But the trajectory set in childhood is powerful. The deep structures of worldview, morality, and affection laid down in the early years are not easily overthrown. The training creates a gravitational pull toward faithfulness that will, by God's grace, ultimately win out.
Now, we must address the difficult cases. What about the child of godly, faithful parents who departs from the faith and never returns? Does this mean God's promise has failed? God forbid. We must first say that no parent is perfectly faithful. We all have failings, inconsistencies, and sins that mar our efforts. However, the Bible does not demand perfection from us, but rather faithfulness. The promise is for those who take God at His word and diligently apply His means of grace.
When we see apostasy from a Christian home, we should not immediately rush to blame the parents in a cruel or simplistic way. Grief is already heavy enough. But neither should we dismiss the clear teaching of Scripture in order to make ourselves feel better. Scripture connects the outcome with the upbringing. "He that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame" (Proverbs 10:5). Shame on whom? On the parents. Why? Because they had something to do with it. This proverb, then, is not a fluffy pillow for parental comfort, but a sharp spur to parental duty. God has given us a task and a promise. Our responsibility is to believe the promise and obey the command.
We are to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). We are to trust God for their salvation, just as we trust Him for our own. He is a covenant-keeping God who shows mercy "to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments" (Deut. 7:9). This promise in Proverbs is a specific application of that grand, overarching covenant reality. Our faith in this promise is the instrument God uses to bring it to fruition.
The Gospel for Parents and Children
This proverb drives us directly to the foot of the cross. As parents, the weight of this responsibility, to dedicate our children, to train them in the way, to believe God for the outcome, is too much for us to bear in our own strength. We fail. We lose our tempers. We are inconsistent. We neglect family worship. We are, in short, sinners raising sinners.
And this is precisely why we need the gospel. Our hope is not in our perfect parenting performance. Our hope is in the perfect Fatherhood of God and the finished work of His Son. We parent out of our own forgiven state. We discipline with grace because we have received grace. We teach the law, but we point to the Savior who fulfilled it. Our authority comes from God, but our model is Christ, who laid down His life for His children.
Therefore, we must not turn this promise into a works-righteousness scheme for raising children. It is not, "If you perform these 57 steps flawlessly, God will be obligated to save your child." Rather, it is a call to faith. We are summoned to believe that God is faithful to His covenant promises and to live as though we believe it. This means we pray for our children, we catechize them, we discipline them, we worship with them, we love them, and we entrust them to their heavenly Father, who loves them more than we do.
And for the children growing up in such homes, the message is one of immense privilege and sober warning. You are being raised in the courts of the King. You are being given every spiritual advantage. The "way" is being laid out before you. To whom much is given, much will be required. Do not trifle with this grace. Do not presume upon the covenant. The training you receive is a roadbed, but you must walk on it. The signposts are clear, but you must follow them. Your parents' faith cannot save you. You must repent and believe for yourself. But know this: the entire structure of your upbringing, by God's design, is meant to lead you to the foot of the cross, so that you might confess with your own mouth that Jesus is Lord, and not depart from that glorious way, all the days of your life.