The Rarity of a Real Man: Text: Proverbs 20:6
Introduction: The Public Relations Department of the Heart
Every man is born with a fully staffed, twenty-four-seven public relations department, and the office is located right in his own heart. The primary job of this department is to issue a steady stream of press releases, all of them proclaiming the sterling character, benevolent intentions, and unwavering loyalty of the man in question. The motto of this department is simple: "All's well, and I'm the reason." In our modern therapeutic age, we have given this a fancy name; we call it "self-esteem." The Bible has an older, more accurate name for it. It is called pride.
This proverb from Solomon is a sharp, two-edged scalpel that cuts right through the bluster and gets to the truth of the matter. It sets up a stark contrast between what men say about themselves and what God knows to be true about them. It is a contrast between cheap talk and costly action, between the broadcast of our alleged virtues and the desperate search for a man who actually possesses them. We live in a world awash in words, a sea of self-promotion. Men are constantly signaling their virtue, proclaiming their loyalty, and advertising their own goodness. But Solomon, with the piercing wisdom given to him by God, poses a question that hangs in the air and indicts us all: talk is cheap, but who can find a man who is actually faithful?
This is not just a cynical observation about human nature, though it is certainly that. It is a foundational diagnostic tool. It reveals the condition of the natural man's heart, which Jeremiah tells us is "deceitful above all things, and desperately sick" (Jer. 17:9). And because the heart is sick, the mouth is enlisted as a physician to declare it healthy. But this proverb also points us forward. It creates a vacuum, a desperate need, that only one Man in all of human history could fill. The search for a faithful man ultimately ends at the feet of the only truly faithful man, the Lord Jesus Christ.
The Text
Many a man will call out his own lovingkindness,
But a faithful man, who can find?
(Proverbs 20:6)
The Universal Broadcast (v. 6a)
The first clause of this proverb describes a universal human activity.
"Many a man will call out his own lovingkindness..." (Proverbs 20:6a)
The picture here is of a man in the public square, acting as his own town crier. He is not waiting for others to praise him; he is seizing the initiative. He is proclaiming, shouting, calling out his own virtue for all to hear. The word translated here as "lovingkindness" is the rich Hebrew word chesed. This is not just a sentimental, squishy feeling. Chesed is covenant loyalty. It is steadfast love, mercy, and faithfulness all rolled into one. It is the word used to describe God's unwavering commitment to His people. So, what we have here is not just a man saying, "I'm a nice guy." He is claiming to possess the very quality that defines the character of God. He is declaring himself to be a man of covenant faithfulness, a pillar of loyalty, a fountain of steadfast love.
And Solomon says this is a common sight. "Many a man" does this. It is not the exception; it is the rule. This is the default setting of the fallen human heart. We are all natural-born Pharisees. We instinctively polish the outside of the cup. We want to be seen as loyal, dependable, and good. The Pharisee in the temple didn't just think he was better than the tax collector; he announced it to God as a point of personal pride. "God, I thank you that I am not like other men" (Luke 18:11). This is the same impulse. Man's chief export is self-justification.
This proclamation is the native language of our therapeutic culture, which tells us that the worst sin is to have a low opinion of ourselves. But the Bible teaches that our problem is precisely the opposite. Our opinion of ourselves is fantastically inflated. We are all expert marketers for a defective product, which is our own righteousness. We curate our social media, we carefully craft our reputations, and we are quick to broadcast our every good deed, or at least our good intentions. But God is not impressed with our press releases. He is looking for something far more substantial.
The Desperate Search (v. 6b)
The second clause lands like a thunderclap after the first.
"But a faithful man, who can find?" (Proverbs 20:6b)
After the noise of many men shouting about their own loyalty, Solomon asks a quiet, devastating question. The contrast is between proclamation and reality. It is easy to find a man who says he is loyal. It is nearly impossible to find a man who is loyal. The word for "faithful" here is from the same root as "amen." It means solid, reliable, trustworthy, true. A faithful man is a man whose words and actions are one. He is a man who can be counted on. He is a man whose character is not a performance.
The question "who can find?" is rhetorical. The implied answer is that such a man is exceedingly rare, like a precious gem. The psalmist laments the same reality: "Help, LORD, for the godly are no more; the faithful have vanished from among men" (Psalm 12:1). This is a sober assessment of the human condition apart from regenerating grace. Men make promises, but they break them. Men declare their undying loyalty, but they are swayed by convenience, by fear, by self-interest. We promise to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, and then we abandon ship when the seas get rough. We pledge allegiance, and then we commit treason in our hearts. We are, by nature, covenant-breakers.
This is because faithfulness is not a matter of good intentions. It is a matter of the heart, and our hearts are fundamentally untrustworthy. We cannot even be faithful to our own diets, let alone to God and to our neighbor. This proverb forces us to look in the mirror. Are we the man in the first clause or the second? Do we talk a good game, or are we the real thing? The raw truth is that we are all the man in the first clause, proclaiming a loyalty we do not possess. And this should drive us to despair of our own resources.
The Faithful Man Found
This proverb is not designed to leave us in a state of cynical despair. Like all of Scripture, it is designed to point us to Christ. The question, "a faithful man, who can find?" has an answer. We have found Him.
Jesus Christ is the only man who never needed to proclaim His own chesed, because His entire life was a seamless demonstration of it. He is the faithful man. He is called "Faithful and True" (Rev. 19:11). He is the ultimate fulfillment of covenant loyalty. Where Adam, the first man, was unfaithful in a perfect garden, Christ, the second Adam, was faithful in a hostile wilderness and on a bloody cross.
He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother. He is the bridegroom who loved His bride and gave Himself up for her, never wavering in His commitment. He is the Son who was faithful to the Father's will, even unto death. His "yes" was "yes," and His "amen" was solid. He did not just talk about faithfulness; He embodied it. He is the answer to Solomon's question.
And the gospel is the good news that this one faithful man acts on behalf of many unfaithful men. God takes the perfect faithfulness of Jesus and credits it to our account. By faith, His record of unbroken loyalty becomes ours. We are declared righteous, not because we have managed to become the faithful man, but because we have been united to the faithful man.
Conclusion: From Proclamation to Practice
So what is the application for us? It is twofold. First, we must stop believing our own press releases. We must repent of the pride that causes us to broadcast our own supposed virtues. We must agree with God's assessment of our hearts. We must confess that we are the men of the first clause, full of hot air and empty promises. Humility begins with telling the truth about ourselves.
Second, having been united to the truly faithful man by faith, we are now called to become faithful men. The Christian life is the process by which the Holy Spirit makes us into what God has already declared us to be in Christ. We are to be men who are known not for our loud proclamations of loyalty, but for our quiet, steady, consistent, day-in-and-day-out faithfulness. Let another praise you, and not your own mouth (Prov. 27:2).
This means keeping our promises, even when it costs us. It means being reliable in the small things. It means showing up. It means being men of our word. Faithfulness is not glamorous. It is the slow, patient work of building a life that is solid, trustworthy, and true. It is a life that reflects the character of the one faithful Man who found us when we were lost, and who has pledged His own unbreakable faithfulness to us, forever.