The Divine Dowry Text: Proverbs 19:14
Introduction: Two Kinds of Treasure
We live in an age that is drowning in materialism, and yet is desperately impoverished. Our culture teaches young men to pursue wealth with a frantic, all-consuming passion. Get the degree, get the job, build the portfolio, buy the house. These are considered the essential building blocks of a successful life. And the Bible does not despise these things. It speaks plainly of diligence, providing for one's household, and leaving an inheritance for your children's children. But our secular religion has made the good thing into the ultimate thing, and in so doing, has made it a damning thing.
The modern man is taught to think that if he can just accumulate enough stuff, enough square footage, enough digits in his bank account, then a good life, including a good wife, will simply be one of the acquisitions. He thinks of a wife as a capstone to his financial achievements, another asset to be added to the ledger. He builds the house, and then seeks a fashionable ornament to put in it.
But the book of Proverbs, which is nothing less than divine wisdom for living in God's world, sets a bomb under this entire ramshackle philosophy. It draws a sharp, clean distinction between two kinds of inheritance, two kinds of wealth. One is common, the other is covenantal. One can be arranged by men, but the other can only be bestowed by God. One is the kind of wealth you can put in a trust fund. The other is the kind of treasure that puts you in touch with the ultimate Trustee. And in confusing the two, we have impoverished ourselves in the worst possible way.
This proverb is a course correction for every man, young or old. It teaches us what to value, what to pray for, and from whom all ultimate blessings flow. It teaches us to distinguish between the gifts of providence, which are common, and the gifts of grace, which are priceless.
The Text
House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers,
But a wife who has insight is from Yahweh.
(Proverbs 19:14 LSB)
The Common Inheritance (v. 14a)
The proverb begins with a statement of fact, a sociological observation that is generally true.
"House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers..." (Proverbs 19:14a)
This is a good thing. The Scriptures commend a father who works diligently and manages his affairs so as to leave his children better off than he was. This is part of the creation mandate, to take dominion and build a civilization that lasts for generations. A house provides stability, a place for the family to flourish. Wealth provides the tools and resources to build and be fruitful. These are not trifles. A father who squanders his substance and leaves his children with nothing but debts and a bad name has failed in his duty.
So let us be clear. God is not condemning earthly inheritance. He is the one who established the principle. The land of Canaan was an inheritance. The Levitical priesthood was an inheritance. God deals with us covenantally, which means He deals with us in family lines, generationally. So the passing of property from father to son is a good, creational ordinance.
But notice the source: "from fathers." This is a transaction that happens on the horizontal plane. It is a human arrangement. A father can sign a deed. He can write a will. He can transfer a title. He can give his son the keys to the family business. These are all things that fall within the scope of human power and prudence. They are good, but they are limited. A house can burn down. Wealth can be stolen or lost in a market crash. These are temporal blessings, and they can be received by the just and the unjust alike. A pagan father can leave his pagan son a fortune. A fool can inherit a mansion. This kind of inheritance has no necessary connection to the spiritual state of the one who receives it.
The Covenantal Gift (v. 14b)
But then the proverb pivots. The word "but" is one of the most important words in all of Scripture. It draws a line in the sand. It establishes a contrast, a hierarchy of value.
"...But a wife who has insight is from Yahweh." (Proverbs 19:14b LSB)
Here the source is different. A prudent wife, a wife with insight, is not something a father can put in his last will and testament. He cannot arrange it, purchase it, or guarantee it. This gift comes from another place entirely. It is "from Yahweh." It is from the covenant-keeping God Himself. This is a gift that comes down the vertical plane.
What is this "insight?" The Hebrew word is related to prudence, discernment, and wisdom. This is not talking about a wife who is merely intelligent, though she may be. It is not talking about a wife who is merely beautiful, though she may be that too. It is describing a woman of deep, godly character. She is the kind of woman described in Proverbs 31. She is industrious, wise in her dealings, discerning in her speech, and she fears the Lord. She knows how to build a household, not just live in a house. She knows how to cultivate true wealth, which is righteousness and peace, not just manage a bank account.
A foolish wife can take the grandest inheritance of house and wealth and burn it to the ground in a few short years. Her nagging is like the dripping of a leaky roof, as this same chapter of Proverbs tells us just one verse earlier. But a prudent wife is a crown to her husband. She is a co-laborer in the dominion project. She brings wisdom where he has blind spots. She is a true helper, fit for him.
And this kind of woman is a direct gift from God. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Notice the language. A man "finds" a wife, and in so doing, he recognizes that he has received "favor from the Lord." It is not a wage he has earned. It is a grace he has been given. This means that for all the young men who are seeking a wife, the primary activity is not wife-hunting. The primary activity is seeking the Lord. You delight yourself in the Lord, and He gives you the desires of your heart. You order your life according to His Word, you become the kind of man a prudent woman would want to marry, and you trust God to bestow the gift in His time.
The Folly of Modern Priorities
This proverb utterly demolishes the romantic nonsense of our age, which tells you to "follow your heart" or to look for someone with a compatible personality and shared hobbies. It also exposes the crass materialism of the age, which tells you to build a financial kingdom first and then find a queen to help you enjoy it.
The biblical pattern is for a young man to first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness. As he does so, he asks God for the greatest earthly gift God gives to a man, which is a godly wife. And then, together, as a unified team, they build a household. The wife is not an accessory to the project; she is the master architect of the home, the foundational partner in the enterprise. A man who finds a prudent wife before he has a great house or much wealth is infinitely richer than the man with a mansion and a fool for a bride.
The world tells you to secure the assets first. God tells you to seek His favor first, and the greatest token of that favor in this life, for a man, is a wife of noble character. Her value is far above rubies. You can't buy her. You can't earn her. You can't inherit her from your dad. You can only receive her, with profound gratitude, as a gift from your Father in Heaven.
Conclusion: Seek the Giver
So what is the practical application? It is very simple. For you young men, stop worrying so much about the house and the wealth. Worry about your character. Become a man of insight yourself. A prudent woman is not looking for a fixer-upper. She is looking for a man who loves and fears God, who is responsible, and who knows where he is going. Seek first the kingdom, and trust that this particular "all these things" will be added to you.
For you young women, cultivate insight. Become a prudent woman. Do not be shaped by the vacuous priorities of this world, which praise vanity and fleeting beauty. Clothe yourself with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. Become a woman who fears the Lord, and you will be praised. Become the kind of gift that a godly man would recognize as coming directly from the hand of God.
And for all of us, this proverb points us to the ultimate reality. All of these earthly gifts are types and shadows. The gift of a prudent wife is the clearest picture a man gets of the grace of God in the gospel. Christ, the bridegroom, does not find a bride who has made herself worthy. He finds a bride who is foolish, broken, and impoverished. And by His grace, He makes her His own. He washes her, He clothes her in His righteousness, and He presents her to Himself as a gift. Every Christian marriage is a reenactment of this drama. The house and wealth are temporary. But the covenant bond between a man and a woman is a picture of an eternal reality. And that is a gift that comes from Yahweh alone.