Commentary - Proverbs 18:22

Bird's-eye view

Proverbs 18:22 is a foundational statement on the goodness of marriage as a creation ordinance. It stands as a direct refutation of both asceticism, which would treat marriage as a lesser, compromised state, and licentiousness, which would treat it as a mere disposable convenience. The proverb is straightforward: a man who takes a wife has found something objectively good, and this good thing is not a stroke of luck but rather a tangible sign of God's favor. This is not merely a statement about companionship, but a theological declaration about the created order. God Himself declared that it was "not good" for man to be alone, and the provision of a wife was His divine remedy. Therefore, the finding of a wife is the finding of a central piece of God's good plan for humanity. The verse connects the personal joy of a man's marriage to the public and objective reality of God's benevolent government over His world. It is a gift, a blessing, and a sign of divine pleasure.

In the broader context of Proverbs, which emphasizes wisdom in the practical affairs of life, this verse grounds the institution of marriage in the bedrock of divine approval. It is set amongst proverbs dealing with speech, relationships, and justice, reminding us that a stable and godly marriage is a cornerstone of a stable and godly society. The favor of Yahweh is not some abstract feeling; it is the concrete blessing that flows into a man's life through the covenantal bond with his wife, enabling fruitfulness, dominion, and sanctification.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

This proverb sits in a collection of Solomon's wisdom that touches on nearly every facet of human life. Chapter 18 discusses the dangers of isolation (18:1), the fool's mouth (18:6-7), the power of the tongue (18:21), and the nature of friendship (18:24). Placing a declaration on the goodness of marriage in this specific context is significant. It contrasts the blessing of a wife with the folly of isolation and the strife that comes from wicked speech. A good wife is a bulwark against these dangers. She is the ultimate friend who sticks closer than a brother, and her companionship is the antidote to the desolation of being alone. Furthermore, the surrounding verses emphasize cause and effect in the moral order of God's world. Just as a fool's lips bring ruin, and a rich man's wealth is his strong city, so finding a wife brings a particular, predictable result: the favor of God. It is a principle of wisdom, woven into the fabric of creation.

Key Issues

The Architecture of a Godly Household

In our modern, egalitarian age, the simple phrasing of this proverb can be surprisingly controversial. The text says, "He who finds a wife..." which assigns the active, seeking role to the man. This is not a cultural artifact; it is a reflection of the created order. From the beginning, God brought the woman to the man. Adam did not create Eve, but he was the one to receive her, name her, and rejoice over her. This pattern of male headship, of loving, responsible initiative, is foundational to a biblical understanding of marriage. It is not a matter of superiority or inferiority, but of distinct and complementary roles established by God for the flourishing of both the man and the woman.

When a man embraces this God-given responsibility and seeks a wife in wisdom and faith, he is not just fulfilling a personal desire. He is participating in a divine pattern. And when he finds her, the proverb says he has found a "good thing." This is cosmic understatement. He has found the other half of the image of God in its relational expression. He has found his helper, his partner in dominion, and the one through whom his legacy will be built. To find a wife is to find a central part of his own calling. It is to this foundational, architectural role of marriage in God's world that this proverb speaks.

Verse by Verse Commentary

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing...

The verse opens with the action of the man. He who finds... This word implies more than just stumbling upon something. It carries the sense of seeking, discovering, and acquiring. A man is to be active in this pursuit, not passive. He is not waiting for a wife to fall out of the sky; he is to be the kind of man a godly woman would want, and he is to be looking. What he finds is "a wife." Not just any woman, but one who will enter into a covenant with him, becoming his wife. This is a specific, defined, covenantal role.

And the result of this finding is that he "finds a good thing." The Hebrew word is tov, the same word used repeatedly in Genesis 1 to describe God's creation. "And God saw that it was good." Marriage is not a consolation prize for those not called to celibacy. It is not a necessary evil. It is a positive, objective, created good. This is a direct echo of Genesis 2:18, where God says, "It is not good for the man to be alone." The provision of a wife turns a "not good" situation into a "good thing." It is a fundamental building block of a healthy society and a primary means of human flourishing. A man who finds a wife has found a treasure, a source of strength, and a profound blessing.

And obtains favor from Yahweh.

The second clause builds on the first, explaining the ultimate source of this goodness. A good wife is not just a horizontal, earthly blessing. She is a vertical gift, a sign of divine favor. The word obtains indicates that this is something received. While the man was the active "finder" in the first clause, he is the grateful "receiver" in the second. This beautifully illustrates the interplay of divine sovereignty and human responsibility. Man acts, he seeks, he finds. But God is the one who gives. As Proverbs 19:14 says, "House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."

This favor is from Yahweh, the covenant-keeping God of Israel. This is crucial. Marriage is not just a natural good, but a covenantal one. For a believer, finding a godly spouse is a tangible expression of God's covenant faithfulness. It is a sign that God is pleased with him and is blessing his life. This doesn't mean that unmarried people are without God's favor, of course. The Apostle Paul speaks of singleness as a good gift as well (1 Cor. 7:7). But it does mean that marriage, when entered into according to God's design, is a channel through which God pours out His grace and pleasure. It is a token of His good will, a living, breathing demonstration of His kindness.

Application

This proverb has direct application for both single men and married men. For the single man who desires to be married, it is an encouragement to be active. You are not sinning by wanting a wife; you are desiring a "good thing." Therefore, you should get your life in order. Become the kind of man who is worthy of a godly woman. Work hard, be faithful in your church, deal with your sin, and be intentional. Pray for a wife, and keep your eyes open. You are seeking a treasure, and the search itself is an honorable one.

For the married man, this verse is a potent command to gratitude. Look at your wife. Do you see her as a "good thing?" Do you recognize her as a tangible sign of God's favor in your life? It is easy for familiarity to breed a kind of lazy contempt. We take for granted the very gifts that are meant to be daily reminders of God's goodness. A husband should regularly thank God for his wife and thank his wife for being his wife. He should treat her like the treasure she is. To despise or neglect your wife is to despise the very favor of God. To love and cherish her is to live in grateful reception of a divine gift. Your marriage is not a ball and chain; it is a blessing. It is God's good and gracious favor made manifest in your home.