Commentary - Proverbs 17:21

Bird's-eye view

This proverb is a sharp, two-edged statement that lands squarely in the middle of family life. It addresses the profound sorrow that a foolish child brings to his parents, particularly to his father. The book of Proverbs is intensely practical, and there are few things more practical or visceral than the relationship between parents and children. This verse is not offering abstract therapeutic advice; it is stating a blunt fact of life in a fallen world. A foolish child is a source of deep and abiding grief. The parallelism in the verse drives the point home from two angles: the first clause speaks of the grief that comes from the very act of bringing a fool into the world, and the second specifies that the father of such a child has no gladness. This is not a detached observation; it is a covenantal warning. The grief described here is not just emotional disappointment; it is the sorrow of seeing a covenantal inheritance squandered, a family name dishonored, and a soul walking the path of destruction.

The entire book of Proverbs operates on the fundamental contrast between wisdom and folly. Wisdom is the path of life, blessing, and honor. Folly is the path of death, curses, and shame. This verse brings that cosmic conflict down to the breakfast table. The father, as the head of the household, bears a particular responsibility for the instruction and discipline of his children. Therefore, the fool's folly is a unique and heavy burden for him to bear. It is a constant, joy-sapping reality. This proverb, then, serves as a potent motivation for diligent, biblical child-rearing and a sober acknowledgment of the stakes involved.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

Proverbs 17:21 is part of a larger collection of Solomon's proverbs that contrast the righteous and the wicked, the wise and the foolish. This theme is central to the entire book. Numerous other proverbs echo the sentiment of this verse. For example, "A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother" (Prov 10:1). And, "A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him" (Prov 17:25), which is just a few verses down from our text. The repetition of this theme underscores its importance in the wisdom literature. It is not a minor point. The health of the family unit, and by extension the nation, is directly tied to the successful transmission of wisdom from one generation to the next. This verse sits within a stream of practical wisdom about speech, conflict, wealth, and justice, reminding the reader that all these public matters have their roots in the private life of the home. If folly is cultivated in the home, it will inevitably spill out into the streets and the city gate.

Key Issues

The Heaviness of a Fool

We live in an age of therapeutic sentimentalism. Our culture wants to medicalize or psychologize everything, including sin. A rebellious and foolish child is often described as "troubled" or "struggling," and the parents' job is seen as one of unconditional affirmation. The Bible, and the book of Proverbs in particular, cuts through this fog with a bracing dose of reality. A fool is not simply a misguided individual making poor choices. A fool, in biblical terms, is a moral category. The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God" (Ps 14:1). He despises wisdom and instruction (Prov 1:7). His path is crooked, his speech is perverse, and his end is destruction.

Therefore, the grief a parent feels is not just disappointment over a child's poor performance, like a bad report card. It is a profound, spiritual sorrow. It is the grief of watching someone you love choose the path of death. This proverb uses two different words for fool, kesil (a dull, obstinate fool) and nabal (a wicked, morally corrupt fool). The first is a blockhead; the second is a scoundrel. The father who has one of these for a son is doubly afflicted. The grief is not a failure of parental love, but a direct consequence of it. To love a child is to desire their good, and the fool has set himself against all that is good. The sorrow is therefore as deep as the love.

Verse by Verse Commentary

21a He who begets a fool does so to his grief,

The verse begins with the act of begetting, the most fundamental aspect of fatherhood. The grief is tied to the very existence of this foolish child. The Hebrew word for grief here is tugah, which means sorrow, affliction, or heaviness. It is a deep, wearing sorrow. The proverb states this as a plain fact, a law of the moral universe. If you are the father of a fool, you have signed up for a life of grief. This is not to say that there is no hope for the fool to repent, for our God is a God of resurrection. But as long as the son remains a fool, the father's heart will be heavy. The folly of a child is a constant, grinding affliction to a godly parent. It is a living embodiment of a failed legacy, a broken arrow in the quiver (Ps 127:4-5). Every time the father sees his son, he is reminded of the sorrow.

21b And the father of a wicked fool is not glad.

The second clause uses litotes, a form of understatement, for powerful effect. To say the father "is not glad" is a massive understatement for the deep pain being described. It is the opposite of the joy and pride a father feels in a wise son. The word for "wicked fool" here is nabal, which denotes a more active and malicious kind of folly. This is not just the stupidity of a sluggard; it is the moral perversity of someone like Nabal in the story of David (1 Samuel 25), who was churlish and evil in his dealings. To have such a son is to have your name and household represented in the world by malice and corruption. How could a father be glad in that? His son's life is a constant reproach to him and, more importantly, to the God he is supposed to represent. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, a result of seeing righteousness, peace, and truth flourish. The life of the wicked fool is the very antithesis of all these things, and so it is a joy-killer for the father who has to live with it.

Application

This proverb should land on us in two primary ways. First, for parents, it is a powerful exhortation to take the task of child-rearing with the utmost seriousness. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, and it is the parent's God-given duty to drive it far from him with the rod of correction and the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Prov 22:15; Eph 6:4). This verse shows us the alternative. If you are lax, if you indulge folly, if you neglect instruction and discipline, you are cultivating grief for your own future. You are planting a vineyard of sorrow. Biblical parenting is not about ensuring your child's temporal happiness or self-esteem; it is about training them in the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom. The stakes are your future joy and their eternal soul.

Second, for all of us, this proverb reminds us of the ultimate Father and the ultimate Son. God the Father is the only father who has never known this grief from His own Son. Jesus Christ was the perfectly wise Son who always did what was pleasing to His Father. He never brought His Father grief, and He was His Father's constant gladness and delight. And the wonder of the gospel is that through this perfect Son, we who are born fools by nature can be adopted into God's family. We, who brought our Heavenly Father nothing but grief in our sin, are now accepted in the Beloved. Our folly was laid on Christ at the cross, and His perfect wisdom is credited to us. Therefore, the only true and lasting cure for the grief of folly, whether in ourselves or in our children, is found at the foot of the cross, where the foolishness of God is wiser than men.