Bird's-eye view
This proverb is a masterful example of the antithetical parallelism that characterizes so much of the book. It sets two characters in sharp contrast: the wise son and the foolish man. But it does more than just define wisdom and folly in the abstract; it grounds them in the most fundamental of all human institutions, the family. The proverb teaches that a person's true character, their wisdom or their folly, is most clearly revealed by how they relate to their parents. Wisdom brings joy and honor to the family structure, specifically making a father glad. Folly, on the other hand, actively attacks that structure with contempt, specifically by despising the mother. This is not a sentimental greeting card verse; it is a foundational statement about the nature of a godly social order, which must be built, from the ground up, on the Fifth Commandment.
The verse is not perfectly symmetrical, and this is where its genius lies. The opposite of a glad father is not a sad father, but a despised mother. This sharpens the point. The foolish man's rebellion is not just a failure to bring joy; it is an active, insolent contempt for his very origins. It is a rebellion against the givenness of his life. Therefore, the home is the primary proving ground for wisdom. Before a man can rule a city, or a church, or a business, he must first demonstrate that he is not a fool at home.
Outline
- 1. The Fruit of Wisdom: A Father's Joy (Prov 15:20a)
- 2. The Root of Folly: A Mother's Contempt (Prov 15:20b)
Context In Proverbs
Proverbs 15 is situated in the heart of the book's main collection of individual sayings (Proverbs 10:1-22:16). This section is a relentless drumbeat of contrasts between wisdom and folly, righteousness and wickedness, diligence and sloth. Verse 20 fits perfectly within this pattern. It follows verses that contrast a gentle answer with a harsh word (v. 1), the Lord's omniscience with the wicked's sacrifice (v. 8), and a joyful heart with a sorrowful one (v. 13). This particular proverb brings the grand cosmic battle between wisdom and folly down to the level of the dinner table. It is a specific, concrete application of the book's central theme. The family is not just one topic among many in Proverbs; it is the crucible in which the character traits described throughout the book are forged.
Key Issues
- The Fifth Commandment as the Basis of Wisdom
- The Asymmetrical Parallelism of the Proverb
- The Nature of Familial Gladness
- The Definition of Folly as Contempt for Origins
- The Son as a "Man"
The Proving Ground
We live in an age that has contempt for all givens. We are told that we can define our own identity, our own reality, our own morality. But this is no new rebellion; it is the ancient folly described in the Bible. And that folly always shows up first in the home. The first government we are all placed under is the government of our parents. The first authority we are to honor is theirs. How we respond to that first, God-given reality sets the trajectory for our entire lives. This proverb, therefore, is not a minor piece of domestic advice. It is a diagnostic tool for the soul. Do you want to know if a man is wise or a fool? Do not ask for his resume or his GPA. Find out how he treats his mother.
Verse by Verse Commentary
20 A wise son makes a father glad,
The proverb begins with the positive side of the ledger. The subject is a wise son. In Proverbs, wisdom (chokmah) is not about raw intelligence or academic achievement. It is skill in the art of godly living. It is the ability to apply God's truth to the gritty realities of life. And where is the first place this skill is displayed? In his relationship to his father. The result of this wisdom is that he makes a father glad. This gladness is more than a fleeting happiness. It is a deep, settled joy and satisfaction. It is the joy a father feels when he sees his instruction take root, when he sees the covenant promises being passed to the next generation, when he sees his son growing into a man who fears God and is competent to lead his own family one day. The father's gladness is a sign that the household is rightly ordered and that the legacy he is building will endure. It is the joy of seeing a return on the immense investment of love, discipline, and instruction.
But a foolish man despises his mother.
Now we turn to the contrast. The parallel to the "wise son" is the foolish man. The Hebrew here is not for a little boy, but for a man who is a fool. His folly is not the excusable ignorance of childhood, but a settled character of rebellion. And how does this folly manifest? He despises his mother. The word for despise means to hold in contempt, to scorn, to treat as worthless. This is not mere disagreement or youthful frustration. It is a deep-seated rejection of her authority, her wisdom, and her very person. Why the mother? If the father represents the authority and instruction of the family, the mother represents the nurture, the life, and the source of the family. To despise one's mother is to despise one's own life at its root. It is an act of profound arrogance and ingratitude. The fool is the man who believes he is self-made, and he shows it by scorning the woman who gave him birth. This is the essence of folly: a contempt for the unchosen obligations and ties that God has woven into the fabric of our lives.
Application
The application of this proverb must cut us all to the quick. It is a lifelong command. The obligation to honor our parents does not cease when we turn eighteen or move out of the house. For those with living parents, we must ask ourselves: Do our lives, our choices, and our attitudes make our fathers glad? Do we honor our mothers, seeking their wisdom, caring for them in their old age, and refusing to show them contempt in our hearts, words, or actions?
For parents, this proverb reminds us what our goal is. We are not aiming to raise happy children; we are aiming to raise wise sons and daughters. Our task is to instruct them in the fear of the Lord, so that they might bring gladness to us, and more importantly, to their Heavenly Father.
Ultimately, this proverb points us to the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only perfectly wise Son, the one who could say, "I always do the things that are pleasing to Him" (John 8:29). He brought ultimate gladness to His Father. In our folly, we have all despised our origins, not just our earthly mothers, but our Heavenly Father, our Creator. We have scorned His authority and treated His gifts with contempt. The gospel is the good news that God, through the cross of the Wise Son, adopts foolish rebels into His family. He takes those who are characterized by contempt and transforms them by His grace into wise sons and daughters who learn, slowly but surely, to make their Father glad.