Commentary - Proverbs 13:10

Bird's-eye view

This proverb sets up a sharp, practical antithesis that gets right to the heart of our daily conflicts, whether in a marriage, a church session meeting, or a political debate. On one side, you have arrogance, and its only child is strife. On the other side, you have wisdom, which is found in the company of the teachable, those willing to take counsel. The verse diagnoses the root cause of nearly every pointless argument: pride. It then prescribes the cure: the humility to listen. It is a simple diagnostic tool for any man who finds himself constantly embroiled in quarrels. The problem is not "out there" with all the difficult people; the problem is the pride "in here." Wisdom, therefore, is not simply the accumulation of knowledge, but the moral and spiritual posture of being correctable.

The structure of the proverb is a classic Hebrew parallelism, contrasting two ways of being in the world. The arrogant man is a closed system. He knows what he knows, and any challenge to his position is not seen as an opportunity for learning but as an act of war. This inevitably breeds contention. The wise, however, are those who are "well-advised." They are open to input, recognizing their own finitude and fallibility. This humility does not lead to a spineless relativism; rather, it is the only pathway to true, grounded, and durable wisdom. The proverb is thus a foundational statement on the relationship between epistemology and ethics. How you learn is a function of who you are, and a proud man cannot learn, which means he cannot become wise.

Outline

Context In Proverbs

Proverbs 13 is part of the central collection of "the proverbs of Solomon" (Prov 10:1-22:16). This section is characterized by its consistent use of antithetical parallelism, where the second line of a proverb contrasts with the first. Verse 10 fits this pattern perfectly. It follows verses that discuss the value of a father's instruction (13:1), the fruit of one's words (13:2), and the danger of rash speech (13:3). It is situated in a stream of practical wisdom that connects a person's character (wise vs. foolish, righteous vs. wicked, diligent vs. lazy) to the direct outcomes of their life. This verse's focus on pride as the source of conflict is a recurring theme throughout the book. Pride is consistently presented as the root of folly and destruction ("Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall," Prov 16:18), while humility is the path to honor and wisdom ("When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom," Prov 11:2). This proverb is a potent and concise summary of that central biblical theme.

Key Issues

The Quarrel Factory

Every sin in the book can be traced back to pride. It is the original sin, the fundamental orientation of the creature telling the Creator that he knows better. And this proverb tells us what the factory of pride produces. It has only one product on its assembly line, and that is quarreling. The Hebrew word for arrogance here, zadon, means insolence or presumptuousness. It's the attitude of a man who has appointed himself to the supreme court of the universe and is ready to issue rulings on everything. When two such popes get in the same room, a quarrel is not just possible, it is inevitable. A theological throwdown, a marital squabble, an elder's meeting that goes until 2 a.m., look under the hood and you will find zadon.

Notice the absolutism of the text: "With arrogance comes only quarreling." It does not say that pride sometimes leads to strife, or that it is a contributing factor. It says this is all it does. Pride does not build, it does not create, it does not solve. It only litigates. It only fights. This is because the proud man is not arguing for the truth; he is arguing for himself. His position and his person are fused together, so any disagreement with his ideas is taken as a personal attack. And when your identity is on the line in every conversation, every conversation becomes a battlefield.

Verse by Verse Commentary

10 With arrogance comes only quarreling, But with those who receive counsel is wisdom.

The first clause is the diagnosis. The Hebrew for "arrogance" carries the sense of boiling over, of insolence. It is a hot sin. It is the man who is wise in his own eyes, who cannot be told anything. He walks into a room with his opinions fully formed and his mind fully closed. The text says that from this posture, only quarreling can result. Why? Because truth is not the object of the discussion; vindication is. The arrogant man is not in a conversation to learn or to build, but to win. He needs to be right in the same way he needs oxygen, and if he has to burn the whole house down to prove he was right about the color of the curtains, he will do it. This is the man who argues with the umpire, with his wife, with his pastor, with the text of Scripture itself if it contradicts him. His life is a series of battles because his pride manufactures them wholesale.

The second clause is the prescription, and it is a complete reversal of orientation. Wisdom is not found with the man who has all the answers, but with the one who knows he doesn't and is therefore willing to "receive counsel." The Hebrew for "those who receive counsel" is a participle form of the verb ya'ats, which means to advise or consult. These are the "counseled ones." They are characterized by their practice of seeking and receiving advice. This is not a sign of weakness but of profound strength. It takes humility to admit you might be wrong. It takes humility to listen to a brother, to your wife, to an elder, to a book. Wisdom, then, is not a solitary possession but a communal one. It resides with the teachable. The man who can be corrected is the man who can grow wise. The man who cannot be corrected is a fool, no matter how high his IQ. The central contrast is between the closed fist of arrogance and the open hand of humility. One leads to the sterile environment of strife; the other leads to the fertile ground where wisdom grows.

Application

This proverb ought to be written on the flyleaf of our Bibles, on our dashboards, and on the inside of our eyelids. It provides an immediate diagnostic question for every conflict we find ourselves in: "Is my pride flaring up right now?" When you are in a heated argument with your spouse, and you find yourself rehearsing your "winning" points in your head, that is arrogance, and it will only produce more strife. When you dismiss a criticism out of hand without considering it, that is arrogance. When you refuse to seek counsel on a major decision because you don't want anyone to question you, that is arrogance. And the end of that road is always contention and folly.

The application is therefore to cultivate a teachable spirit. This is repentance in practice. It means actively seeking out counsel. Before you make a big decision, do you ask wise men for their thoughts? When you are rebuked by a brother, is your first instinct to defend yourself or to ask, "Is that true of me?" Husbands, do you listen to your wives, truly listen? Or do you just wait for her to finish so you can explain why you are right? The gospel is the foundation for this kind of humility. The gospel tells us that we are more sinful and flawed than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope. Because our ultimate vindication is secure in Christ, we do not have to win every petty argument on earth. We are free to be wrong. We are free to lose a debate. We are free to listen, to learn, and to receive counsel. And it is only in that freedom, the freedom of gospel-humility, that true wisdom can be found.