The Wisdom of the Muzzle Text: Proverbs 11:12
Introduction: The Open Sewer of the Heart
The book of Proverbs is intensely practical. It does not float in the ether of abstract theology; it walks on the ground, in the marketplace, and in the neighborhood. It is concerned with how we live, and a massive part of how we live is determined by what comes out of our mouths. More than that, what comes out of our mouths is a reliable indicator of what is in our hearts. As the Lord Jesus said, "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" (Matt. 12:34). If the heart is a sewer of contempt, pride, and foolishness, then the mouth will be the open manhole cover, venting that corruption into the community.
Our text today is a sharp, two-edged proverb that cleaves right down the middle, separating the fool from the wise man. It gives us a diagnostic tool to assess our own hearts and the hearts of others. The test is simple: how do you speak about your neighbor? The world, and particularly our modern digital world, runs on the fuel of contempt. Social media is a roaring furnace of despising one another. Cable news panels are festivals of despising. Political discourse is little more than a structured way for fools to despise their neighbors on a national scale. It is considered a mark of sophistication to be able to articulate your contempt for others with a certain flair.
But God says this is not sophistication. It is a profound lack of heart. It is spiritual idiocy. The man who publicly belittles his neighbor is advertising his own emptiness. He thinks he is showing everyone how clever he is, but he is actually hanging a sign around his neck that says, "Vacant." In stark contrast, the man of understanding, the man of discernment, possesses a powerful and underrated weapon: the shut mouth. He knows when to speak, and just as importantly, he knows when not to. This proverb forces us to ask ourselves: are our words building up the city of God, or are we tearing it down one snide comment at a time?
The Text
"He who despises his neighbor lacks a heart of wisdom, But a man of discernment keeps silent."
(Proverbs 11:12 LSB)
The Fool's Contempt (v. 12a)
Let us first examine the fool and his defining characteristic here.
"He who despises his neighbor lacks a heart of wisdom..." (Proverbs 11:12a)
The word for "despises" here carries the sense of belittling, of holding someone in contempt, of treating them as worthless. This is not simply a matter of disagreeing with a neighbor. This is not about offering a sharp but necessary rebuke. This is about a settled disposition of the heart that looks down upon another person, made in the image of God, and scoffs. The man who does this "lacks a heart of wisdom." The Hebrew is literally "lacks heart." It's the same phrase used to describe the young man being seduced by the adulteress in Proverbs 7:7. He is simple, void of understanding. He lacks sense. He is a spiritual moron.
Why is this so foolish? First, it reveals profound pride. To despise your neighbor requires you to elevate yourself above him. It is to say, "I am the standard, and he fails to meet it." This is the very essence of the Pharisee in the temple, thanking God that he is not like other men. But the gospel teaches us that we are all beggars at the foot of the cross. We have no ground for boasting in ourselves. Any good we have is a gift of grace. The man who despises his neighbor has forgotten the pit from which he was dug. He has forgotten that he, too, is a sinner saved by grace, and that his neighbor might be one prayer of repentance away from being his brother.
Second, it is destructive to the community. A town, a church, a neighborhood, is a fabric woven together by countless threads of mutual respect and forbearance. The man who despises his neighbor takes a knife to that fabric. He introduces suspicion, bitterness, and division. Verse 11 of this same chapter says, "By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down." Contempt is a wrecking ball. It demolishes trust. And the fool, lacking a heart of wisdom, does not see the long-term consequences. He gets a momentary thrill from his put-down, a fleeting sense of superiority, while the foundations of his own community crumble around him.
Third, it is an offense against God. To despise a man is to despise the one in whose image he is made. James warns us about this very thing: "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be" (James 3:9-10). The fool's contempt is not just a horizontal problem; it is a vertical one. When you mock your neighbor, your scorn splashes onto the face of God.
The Wise Man's Silence (v. 12b)
Now, Solomon turns to the man of understanding.
"...But a man of discernment keeps silent." (Proverbs 11:12b)
The contrast could not be more stark. The fool's mouth is always open, spewing contempt. The wise man's mouth is, by default, closed. This is not the silence of cowardice or the silence of apathy. This is the silence of discernment. The word for "discernment" means understanding, insight. The wise man sees the situation for what it is. He sees the folly of the fool's speech. He sees the potential for damage. He sees the bigger picture. And because of this, he "keeps silent."
This silence is a mark of strength, not weakness. It takes real self-control to hold your tongue when you have a clever retort ready to fly. It takes humility to refuse the bait of an argument that will only produce heat and no light. The man of discernment has his tongue on a leash. The fool's tongue is a stray dog, running wild and biting whomever it pleases.
This man understands the power of words. He knows that words can heal or kill (Proverbs 18:21). He knows that "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). Because he values peace and order, he refuses to throw verbal gasoline on a fire. He would rather absorb an insult than escalate a conflict. He is playing the long game. He is building for the future, while the fool is content to burn everything down for a moment's satisfaction.
Notice the connection to the next verse: "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:13). The man who can keep silent about his neighbor's faults is the same man who can be trusted with his neighbor's secrets. He is a stable, reliable pillar in the community. He is a man of integrity. His silence is not empty; it is full of wisdom, discretion, and love.
This is the character of our Lord Jesus. "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23). Before his accusers, like a sheep before its shearers, he was silent. This was not the silence of a man with nothing to say. It was the silence of a man who had the wisdom of the universe at his command, but who chose, out of love and discernment, to hold his peace for the sake of our salvation.
Conclusion: Muzzling the Old Man
So what is the application for us? This proverb is a call to radical self-examination. We must look at our speech patterns, especially when we are talking about people we disagree with, people who have wronged us, or people we are tempted to look down on. Is our speech characterized by contempt or by charity? Do we rush to broadcast our neighbor's failings, or do we, out of discernment, keep silent?
This is not a call for us to become mute doormats. There is a time for rebuke, a time for correction, and a time for speaking hard truths. But that speech must always be governed by love, for the purpose of restoration, not for the cheap thrill of putting someone in their place. The fool despises; the wise man loves, and that love often manifests itself in a discerning silence.
The root of the fool's contempt is his unregenerate heart. He is still in Adam. The root of the wise man's discernment is his new heart in Christ. The only way to truly muzzle the contemptuous fool within us is to have him crucified with Christ. It is only when the Spirit of God takes up residence in our hearts that we can begin to produce the fruit of self-control. It is only when we are overwhelmed by the grace of God shown to us, His enemies, that we can extend that grace to our neighbors.
Therefore, when you are tempted to despise your neighbor, to fire off that witty but cruel email, to join in the slanderous gossip, remember this proverb. Remember that your words are a window into your heart. Ask God to crucify your pride, to fill you with His Spirit, and to give you the discernment to know when to speak, and the strength, for His glory and the good of your neighbor, to keep silent.