The High Cost of Cheap Thrills Text: Proverbs 6:20-35
Introduction: A World Without Guardrails
We live in a generation that has declared war on all guardrails. Our culture preaches a gospel of autonomous desire, which is simply a fancy way of saying, "If it feels good, do it." The old boundaries, the ancient wisdom that protected families and societies for millennia, are now scorned as oppressive, outdated, and bigoted. But when you tear down all the fences that God erected for your protection, you should not be surprised when you find yourself in the ditch, or over the cliff. You should not be surprised by the wreckage.
The book of Proverbs is intensely practical. It is not a collection of sentimental niceties for cross-stitching on pillows. It is a field manual for spiritual warfare. It is a father sitting his son down to explain how the world actually works, not how the poets of rebellion and folly wish it worked. And in this high-stakes conversation, the subject of sexual purity is never far from the surface. This is because sexual sin is not just one sin among many; it is a foundational rebellion against the created order. God made us male and female, and He designed marriage as the covenantal framework for intimacy, fruitfulness, and dominion. To attack that framework is to attack God's world-building project at its very foundation.
In our passage today, Solomon continues his urgent warning to his son. He is not simply saying "don't do this." He is explaining why you must not do this. He is laying out the physics of the moral universe. He shows that God's law is not an arbitrary set of rules designed to keep you from having fun. Rather, it is a lamp, a light, a set of instructions from the Manufacturer that tells you how the machine works. To disregard it is not an act of liberation; it is an act of suicidal folly. It is like disregarding the law of gravity while standing on a high ledge. You can deny the law all you want, but the law will have the last word.
Solomon's warning here is a three-part argument. First, he establishes the life-giving nature of God's law as mediated through parents. Second, he describes the raw, physical danger of adultery, using metaphors that any young man can understand. And third, he contrasts the sin of adultery with a lesser sin, theft, to show just how uniquely destructive and unforgivable it is in the social fabric.
The Text
My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not abandon the law of your mother; Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep watch over you; And when you awake, they will speak to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the law is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the foreign woman. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, Nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom And his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals And his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her will not go unpunished. Men do not despise a thief if he steals To fill himself when he is hungry; But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking a heart of wisdom; He who would destroy his soul does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, And his reproach will not be blotted out. For jealousy enrages a man, And he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not accept any ransom, He will not be willing though you give many bribes.
(Proverbs 6:20-35 LSB)
The Portable Law of God (vv. 20-23)
We begin with the foundation of all wisdom: submission to received instruction.
"My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not abandon the law of your mother; Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep watch over you; And when you awake, they will speak to you." (Proverbs 6:20-22)
Notice the source of this wisdom. It is the father's commandment and the mother's law. In a rightly ordered Christian home, parents are God's designated mediators of truth. The father and mother are spoken of together, as co-laborers in this great task of discipleship. This is a Trinitarian principle, not an Islamic one. The mother's law is not to be forsaken any more than the father's commandment. To despise your mother is as foolish as mocking your father.
And what is the son to do with this instruction? He is to make it a permanent part of his very being. "Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck." This is not about memorizing a few rules. This is about internalizing a worldview until it becomes second nature. It is to be so central that it is in your heart, the seat of your affections and decisions. It is to be so visible that it is like an ornament around your neck, a public declaration of whose you are. This is covenant identity.
The result is that God's law becomes a personal, active guide. It is a constant companion. When you walk, it leads you. When you sleep, it watches over you. When you awake, it speaks to you. This is a living relationship with the truth. The Word of God, taught by faithful parents, becomes a constant counselor, a protector in your vulnerable moments, and the first voice you hear in the morning. This is the antithesis of the world's wisdom, which tells you to "follow your heart." God's wisdom tells you to bind His law to your heart so that your heart follows His law.
Verse 23 gives the reason for this:
"For the commandment is a lamp and the law is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life" (Proverbs 6:23)
The world is a dark place. Folly and temptation lurk in the shadows. God's law is a lamp for your feet and a light for your path (Psalm 119:105). It illuminates the dangers. It shows you where the cliff edge is. It reveals the dead ends. And notice, "reproofs for discipline are the way of life." This is crucial. The law does not just point the way; it corrects you when you stray. Discipline is not a sign of God's displeasure, but of His fatherly love. The one who rejects correction is the one who hates his own soul. These reproofs are the guardrails that keep you on the way of life.
The Physics of Folly (vv. 24-29)
The purpose of this lamp, this light, is immediately made practical. It is to protect the son from a specific, lethal danger.
"To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the foreign woman. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, Nor let her capture you with her eyelids." (Proverbs 6:24-25)
The "evil woman," the "foreign woman," is not a reference to ethnicity. She is foreign to the covenant. Her ways are alien to the wisdom of God. Her primary weapon is her "smooth tongue," her flattery. She tells the young man what his vanity wants to hear. She builds him up in his pride, preparing him for his fall. The warning is to guard the heart, the command center. "Do not desire her beauty in your heart." The battle is lost or won in the imagination, in the desires. And her secondary weapon is her eyes: "Nor let her capture you with her eyelids." She uses her beauty as bait in a trap.
Solomon then lays out the cost. It is a fool's bargain.
"For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life." (Proverbs 6:26)
There is a distinction here. A prostitute might take all your money, reducing you to poverty, to your last loaf of bread. That is bad enough. But the adulteress, the neighbor's wife, is after something far more valuable. She "hunts for the precious life." This is not a commercial transaction; this is a blood sport. She is a predator, and your soul is the prey. This sin is not just economically ruinous; it is existentially fatal.
To drive the point home, Solomon uses two unanswerable rhetorical questions. This is not complex theology; this is basic physics.
"Can a man take fire in his bosom And his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals And his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her will not go unpunished." (Proverbs 6:27-29)
The logic is inescapable. Some actions have built-in, necessary consequences. Fire burns. Adultery destroys. To think you can play with this kind of sin and not get burned is the height of folly. You are not the exception to the rule. You cannot negotiate with fire. The universe is hard-wired by God to operate in a certain way. To go in to your neighbor's wife is to scoop hot coals into your lap. The result is not in question. Punishment is not a possibility; it is a certainty. "Whoever touches her will not go unpunished."
A Crime Beyond Compensation (vv. 30-35)
To illustrate the unique gravity of this sin, Solomon draws a sharp contrast between adultery and theft.
"Men do not despise a thief if he steals To fill himself when he is hungry; But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house." (Proverbs 6:30-31)
There is a certain kind of theft, born of desperation, that we can understand. We don't approve of it, but we don't despise the man. We pity him. His motive was survival, not malice. Nevertheless, even for this "understandable" crime, the consequences are severe. Justice demands restitution. He must repay "sevenfold," a number indicating complete and painful restoration. It might cost him everything he owns. The point is that even the lesser crime has a steep price.
But the adulterer is in an entirely different category.
"The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking a heart of wisdom; He who would destroy his soul does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, And his reproach will not be blotted out." (Proverbs 6:32-33)
The adulterer is not driven by hunger, but by lust. He is not trying to save his life; he is actively destroying it. He "lacks a heart of wisdom," which is the biblical way of saying he is a profound fool. He is a self-destroyer. The consequences are not merely financial, as with the thief. They are "wounds and disgrace." And most terrifyingly, "his reproach will not be blotted out." The thief can repay his debt. His crime can be settled. But the stain of adultery is permanent. It is a public shame that follows a man to his grave. It is a wound that never fully heals, a scar that cannot be hidden.
Why is this so? Because the crime is not against property, but against the one-flesh covenant, the most sacred of human bonds. And this brings us to the final, practical reason for the permanence of the disgrace.
"For jealousy enrages a man, And he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not accept any ransom, He will not be willing though you give many bribes." (Proverbs 6:34-35)
The adulterer has not just broken God's law; he has created an enemy. He has awakened a righteous and furious jealousy in the heart of the wronged husband. This is not petty envy; this is the protective rage that guards the covenant. And this rage cannot be bought off. The thief's debt can be calculated and paid. But what is the cash value of a wife's honor? What is the price of a broken marriage covenant? There is no price. "He will not accept any ransom." No amount of money, no number of bribes, can appease this fury. The adulterer has inflicted a wound that cannot be healed with cash. He has incurred a debt that cannot be repaid, and he has made an enemy who will not rest until vengeance is exacted.
Conclusion: The Wisdom of the Cross
This is a terrifying passage, and it is meant to be. It is a bucket of ice water thrown on the face of a generation drunk on cheap sentimentality and foolish lust. The consequences of sexual sin are real, they are severe, and they are inescapable.
But this is not the final word. For we have all, in a deeper sense, been adulterers. The prophet Jeremiah describes Israel's idolatry as spiritual adultery (Jeremiah 3:8-9). We have all gone after other gods. We have all desired the beauty of idols in our hearts. We have chased after the fleeting pleasures of this world and been unfaithful to the God who made us. We have committed spiritual adultery against our Maker, and we have incurred a debt we cannot possibly pay.
And God, the wronged husband, is filled with a holy jealousy for His people. His rage against our sin is righteous and implacable. He will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not accept any ransom we can offer, for what could we possibly bribe Him with? All the substance of our house is already His, and it is not nearly enough.
This is where the gospel comes in with breathtaking power. The reproach that could not be blotted out has been blotted out. The debt that could not be paid has been paid. The jealous rage of a holy God has been satisfied. How? God Himself provided the ransom. He did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all (Romans 8:32). On the cross, Jesus Christ took our wounds, our disgrace, and our reproach upon Himself. He absorbed the full force of God's righteous vengeance against our spiritual adultery.
Therefore, the warning of Proverbs remains. If you are outside of Christ, know that playing with sin is playing with fire, and the flames of hell are very real. But if you are in Christ, you have been washed. Your reproach has been wiped away by His blood. And now, the law of God is no longer a word of condemnation, but has become what Solomon described: a lamp, a light, and the way of life. It is the joyful wisdom given to us by our loving Father, through our Savior Jesus Christ, so that we might walk in faithfulness to Him, our true husband, all the days of our lives.