The Honey and the Blade: The Anatomy of Adultery Text: Proverbs 5:1-6
Introduction: Two Invitations
The book of Proverbs is not a collection of disconnected, fortune-cookie platitudes for a respectable life. It is a book of spiritual warfare. It presents us with a stark choice, a choice between two ways, two paths, two houses, and two women. On the one hand, you have Lady Wisdom, who has built her house, slaughtered her beasts, and set her table. She calls out from the high places, inviting the simple to come and dine, to find life and favor from the Lord (Prov. 9:1-6). On the other hand, you have Dame Folly, the strange woman, the adulteress. She too sits at her door, calling to those who pass by. But her house is the way to Sheol, and her feast is a feast of death (Prov. 9:13-18).
Every man, every day, is hearing these two invitations. They are mutually exclusive. You cannot dine at both tables. You cannot walk both paths. To accept one is to refuse the other. Our text today is a father's urgent plea to his son, equipping him to discern the difference between these two calls. This is not abstract advice. It is tactical intelligence for the battlefield of sexual temptation. In our culture, a culture awash in sexual confusion and rebellion, a culture that has made Dame Folly its patron saint, this is not just relevant instruction; it is survival training.
We are told that we live in a sophisticated age, that these ancient warnings are prudish and outdated. But our age is not sophisticated; it is simply foolish in a more technologically advanced way. We have exchanged the strange woman on the street corner for the strange woman on the screen, but the trap is the same. The bait is the same. And the end is the same. The path to destruction is paved with the sweet promises of illicit pleasure. Solomon, writing by the Spirit, pulls back the curtain to show his son, and us, the skull beneath the beautiful face of temptation.
This passage is a father's loving attempt to arm his son with wisdom and discernment before he ever finds himself in the heat of the moment. He is teaching him to do his thinking beforehand. The time to decide whether or not to touch a hot stove is not when your hand is hovering an inch above it. The thinking must be done now, in the cool light of day, with the Word of God as your instructor.
The Text
My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
Incline your ear to my discernment;
That you may keep discretion And that your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a strange woman drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech;
But her end is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol,
Lest she watch the path of life; Her tracks are unstable, she does not know it.
(Proverbs 5:1-6 LSB)
The Call to Attention (v. 1-2)
The instruction begins with an urgent command to listen, because the battle is first won or lost in the mind.
"My son, pay attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my discernment; That you may keep discretion And that your lips may guard knowledge." (Proverbs 5:1-2)
The father is not just asking his son to hear the words; he is commanding him to internalize a way of thinking. "Pay attention to my wisdom." This is not just any wisdom; it is covenantal wisdom, passed down from a father who received it from God. This is God's wisdom. To "incline your ear" is to lean in, to listen intently, as though your life depended on it, which it does. The goal is twofold: to "keep discretion" and to "guard knowledge."
Discretion is the ability to make sound judgments, to see the hook inside the bait. It is the capacity to think through the consequences of an action before you take it. The world tells our young men to follow their hearts, to trust their feelings. God tells them to cultivate discretion. Your heart is a fool and a traitor (Jer. 17:9); you must not trust it. You must catechize it. You must teach it to submit to the wisdom of God.
And your lips must "guard knowledge." This means that the wisdom you internalize must then govern your speech. A man who has guarded this knowledge will not be found speaking the flattering words of the seducer, nor will he be found listening to them. His speech will be seasoned with salt. He will know how to answer, how to refuse, and how to rebuke. The battle against sexual temptation is a battle of words before it is a battle of bodies. You must be armed with God's words, because the enemy is armed with hers.
The Bait and the Trap (v. 3-4)
Next, the father describes the allure of the strange woman. He does not deny her appeal; he exposes it as a deadly facade.
"For the lips of a strange woman drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; But her end is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword." (Proverbs 5:3-4 LSB)
The "strange woman" here is not necessarily a foreigner, but rather a woman who is strange to you, a woman outside of your covenant. She is another man's wife, or she is a woman acting outside the covenant of marriage altogether. The temptation begins with her words. Her lips "drip honey." Her speech is "smoother than oil." This is the language of seduction. It is sweet, enticing, and goes down easy. It is full of flattery, promises of pleasure, and affirmations that make a man feel like a king.
This is a direct assault on the senses and the ego. The appeal is powerful. Scripture is realistic about this. It does not pretend that sin is ugly on the surface. The bait must look good, or the fish will not bite. The lie must sound true, or the fool will not believe it. The honey is real honey. The oil is real oil. The initial experience is genuinely pleasurable.
But the father immediately juxtaposes the beginning with the end. "But her end..." This is the word of discretion. The fool only thinks about the honeyed lips. The wise man thinks about "the end." And what is the end? It is "bitter as wormwood." Wormwood was a plant known for its intense, nauseating bitterness. The sweet taste of the honey quickly turns to poison in the stomach. The fleeting pleasure gives way to a lasting, foul regret. It is "sharp as a two-edged sword." The smooth, oily words that seemed to promise life and pleasure turn into a weapon that cuts and destroys. Adultery is not a soft, harmless indiscretion. It is violence. It is a sword that cuts the soul, cuts the conscience, cuts the covenant of marriage, and cuts the family.
The Destination of Folly (v. 5)
The father is not content to describe the bitter aftertaste. He traces the path of the strange woman to its final, horrifying destination.
"Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol." (Proverbs 5:5 LSB)
This is not hyperbole. The path of the adulteress is the path to death. Her feet are set on a course, and every step she takes, and every step you take with her, is a step toward the grave. "Sheol" is the realm of the dead. This is not just talking about the potential for a jealous husband to kill you, though that was a real possibility (Prov. 6:34-35). It is speaking of a spiritual and ultimate death.
To join yourself to a prostitute is to become one flesh with her (1 Cor. 6:16). To commit adultery is to break the one-flesh union of your marriage, a picture of Christ and the Church, and to create a new, demonic one-flesh union. This is spiritual suicide. You are taking the members of Christ and making them members of a harlot. You are walking away from the house of Wisdom and walking straight into the house of Death. Every dalliance, every flirtation, every secret glance is a step on that path. The destination is fixed. If you walk on her road, you will arrive at her destination.
The Deception of Instability (v. 6)
Finally, the father reveals the fundamental nature of this path. It is a path of blindness and chaos.
"Lest she watch the path of life; Her tracks are unstable, she does not know it." (Proverbs 5:6 LSB)
The translation here can be a bit tricky, but the sense is clear. The adulteress does not "watch the path of life." She does not consider it, she does not ponder it, she does not value it. She is morally and spiritually blind. Her own life is a chaotic mess. "Her tracks are unstable." The word means to wander, to reel, to stagger like a drunk. There is no stability, no firm foundation in her way of life. She is driven by impulse, by appetite, by the moment.
And here is the most chilling part: "she does not know it." She is self-deceived. She staggers toward death and calls it freedom. She wanders in the darkness and thinks it is light. She is a fool, and because she is a fool, she cannot see her own folly. This is why her words are so dangerous. She is not just lying to you; she is living a lie herself. She offers you a life of excitement and pleasure, but she is inviting you to join her in her drunken, staggering walk toward the abyss. To follow her is to embrace chaos. It is to abandon the straight, clear, well-lit path of wisdom for a crooked, unstable, dark track that leads only to destruction.
Conclusion: The Gospel Path of Life
So what is the answer? Is it just a matter of white-knuckled self-control? No. The answer to the sweet lies of the strange woman is not simply trying harder. The answer is a greater, sweeter, more compelling truth.
The ultimate "strange woman" is the world system, with its honeyed lips promising satisfaction apart from God. She is Babylon the Great, the mother of harlots, who makes the nations drunk with the wine of her immorality (Rev. 17). The only deliverance from her intoxicating allure is to be captivated by a greater beauty, the beauty of Christ and His bride, the Church.
This passage from Proverbs is ultimately fulfilled in Christ. He is the true wisdom of God, the one who calls us to His feast. He did not just avoid the path to Sheol; He descended into it for us. He took the bitterness of the wormwood, the sharpness of the two-edged sword of God's wrath, upon Himself at the cross. He drank the cup of death so that we who were staggering on the path of folly could be set upon the path of life.
The fight for sexual purity is therefore not a negative project of avoiding bad things. It is a positive project of pursuing Christ. You overcome the allure of false beauty by being overwhelmed by true beauty. You overcome the taste of false honey by feasting on the Bread of Life. You guard your heart from the smooth words of the adulteress by filling your mind with the powerful Word of your Savior.
For the young man hearing this, the charge is simple. Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Tim. 2:22). Do not entertain the conversation. Do not linger on the path. Do not taste the honey. Turn your ear to the wisdom of your Father in heaven. Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. And fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. That is the path of life. Walk in it.