The Arrow of Friendship, The Weeping of Kings Text: 1 Samuel 20:35-42
Introduction: Covenant Friendship in a World of Tyranny
We live in an age that has cheapened friendship. Friendship, for us, is a casual affair, a thing of social media convenience and shared hobbies. But the Bible speaks of something far deeper, something with teeth, something with vows and obligations. The Bible speaks of covenant friendship. And there is no greater earthly example of this than the bond between David and Jonathan.
To understand this passage, you must first understand the world in which it takes place. Israel is languishing under the rule of a paranoid, unhinged tyrant. Saul, the Lord's anointed, has become the Lord's rejected. He is a man governed by his passions, by jealousy, by fear, and by a murderous rage directed at the one man God has chosen to replace him. This is what happens when a man refuses to submit to God's Word. He becomes a law unto himself, and his rule becomes arbitrary, dangerous, and ultimately, self-destructive.
Into this cauldron of political instability and personal animosity, God weaves a remarkable tapestry of loyalty. Jonathan, the son of Saul and the heir to the throne, is bound by a covenant of friendship to David, the very man who is destined to take his place. This is a loyalty that defies all worldly logic. By all carnal calculation, Jonathan should have seen David as his rival, his enemy. But Jonathan was a man who feared God more than he feared the loss of a crown. He recognized God's hand on David, and so his loyalty was not ultimately to his father or to his own ambition, but to God and to God's anointed. This is the central conflict of the passage: the collision of two loyalties. On one hand, you have the loyalty demanded by a corrupt, earthly authority, a father and a king. On the other, you have the loyalty demanded by a holy God, sealed in a covenant between two friends.
This is not just an ancient story about palace intrigue. This is a story about the nature of true fellowship, the cost of faithfulness, and the pain that often accompanies obedience. It is a story that forces us to ask ourselves where our ultimate loyalties lie. When the demands of our family, our job, or our government conflict with the demands of God, which way will we turn? The arrow Jonathan shoots in the field is more than just a signal; it is a declaration of allegiance. It is a painful, costly, and beautiful act of covenant faithfulness.
The Text
Now it happened in the morning that Jonathan went out into the field for the appointment with David, and a very young man was with him. And he said to his young man, "Run, find now the arrows which I am about to shoot." As the young man was running, he shot an arrow past him. When the young man reached the place of the arrow which Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the lad and said, "Is not the arrow beyond you?" And Jonathan called after the young man, "Hurry, be quick, do not stay!" And Jonathan’s young man gathered up the arrow and came to his master. But the young man did not know of anything; only Jonathan and David knew about the matter. Then Jonathan gave his weapons to his young man and said to him, "Go, bring them to the city." When the young man was gone, David rose from the south side and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept more. And Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, inasmuch as we have sworn to each other in the name of Yahweh, saying, 'Yahweh will be between me and you, and between my seed and your seed forever.' " Then he rose and departed, while Jonathan went into the city.
(1 Samuel 20:35-42 LSB)
The Costly Signal (vv. 35-40)
We begin with the prearranged plan being put into action:
"Now it happened in the morning that Jonathan went out into the field for the appointment with David, and a very young man was with him. And he said to his young man, 'Run, find now the arrows which I am about to shoot.' As the young man was running, he shot an arrow past him. When the young man reached the place of the arrow which Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the lad and said, 'Is not the arrow beyond you?' And Jonathan called after the young man, 'Hurry, be quick, do not stay!' And Jonathan’s young man gathered up the arrow and came to his master. But the young man did not know of anything; only Jonathan and David knew about the matter. Then Jonathan gave his weapons to his young man and said to him, 'Go, bring them to the city.'" (1 Samuel 20:35-40)
This entire scene is a piece of necessary, righteous deception. Some Christians get the vapors when they encounter deception in Scripture, as though all forms of it are sinful. But this is a failure to make basic biblical distinctions. The ninth commandment forbids bearing false witness against your neighbor. It forbids lying that is intended to harm. But it does not forbid deception used to protect innocent life from a lawless tyrant. Rahab was commended for deceiving the men of Jericho to protect the Hebrew spies. In the same way, Jonathan here is not sinning. He is acting in faithfulness to his covenant with David and in defiance of his father's murderous intent. Saul had forfeited his right to the truth by his wickedness.
The plan is simple, almost like a boy's game, but the stakes are life and death. The lad, the "very young man," is an unwitting participant. He is there to provide a cover for the real purpose of the outing. Jonathan’s words are for two audiences. To the boy, they are simple instructions for retrieving arrows. But to David, hidden nearby, they are a coded message. "Is not the arrow beyond you?" This was the signal. It meant danger. It meant Saul was implacable. It meant David had to flee.
Notice the urgency in Jonathan's voice: "Hurry, be quick, do not stay!" Again, this has a double meaning. For the boy, it's an encouragement to be a swift servant. For David, it is a final, desperate plea. Get out. Your life is in peril. Do not linger. This is the painful duty of a true friend: to speak the hard truth, even when it means separation and sorrow.
The ignorance of the young man is explicitly stated: "only Jonathan and David knew about the matter." This is a feature of God's providence. God often works His purposes through a combination of those who are in on the plan and those who are simply carrying out their daily tasks, oblivious to the grander drama unfolding around them. The lad was just fetching arrows, but in doing so, he was playing a part in the preservation of Israel's future king.
Finally, Jonathan dismisses the boy, sending his weapons back to the city. This is a crucial act. It clears the stage for the final, heartbreaking farewell. It is also symbolic. Jonathan, the prince, is disarming himself before David, the king-in-exile. He is relinquishing his claim, his power, and his future into the hands of his friend, and ultimately, into the hands of God.
The Weeping of Two Friends (v. 41)
With the boy gone, the raw emotion of the moment is unleashed.
"When the young man was gone, David rose from the south side and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept more." (1 Samuel 20:41 LSB)
David's response is one of profound humility and respect. He falls on his face and bows three times. This is not the posture of an equal; it is the posture of a subject before his prince. David, though he is the anointed king, never loses his respect for the office Saul holds, or for the position Jonathan has as the king's son. This is a mark of David's character. He does not grasp for power. He waits for God to give it to him. His humility here is a stark contrast to Saul's prideful paranoia.
Then we see the depth of their affection. "They kissed each other and wept together." Our modern, effeminate, and sexually confused age doesn't know what to do with a scene like this. We are so impoverished in our understanding of deep, masculine friendship that we immediately try to pathologize it or sexualize it. But this is nonsense. This is the affection of two warriors, two brothers in arms, bound by a covenant before God. Their tears are not a sign of weakness; they are a sign of the strength of their love and the depth of their loss. They are being torn from one another by the sin of a third party.
The text makes a point to tell us that "David wept more." Why? Several reasons are likely. Jonathan, for all his pain, was returning to the city, to his home, to a place of relative security. David was heading into the wilderness, to a life on the run, as a fugitive and an outlaw. He was losing not just his friend, but his home, his wife, his position, and his safety. Furthermore, David was the one who was the cause of Saul's rage. He was likely feeling the weight of the trouble he was bringing upon his friend and his friend's house. David's tears were the tears of a man whose world was collapsing, and whose future was utterly uncertain, held together only by the promise of God.
The Covenant Blessing (v. 42)
The final words between them are not words of despair, but words of covenant faithfulness, pointing to a future beyond their present sorrow.
"And Jonathan said to David, 'Go in peace, inasmuch as we have sworn to each other in the name of Yahweh, saying, "Yahweh will be between me and you, and between my seed and your seed forever." ' Then he rose and departed, while Jonathan went into the city." (1 Samuel 20:42 LSB)
Jonathan's final words are a benediction. "Go in peace." This is not a shallow "have a nice trip." This is a deep, theological blessing. The peace he wishes for David is a peace grounded not in circumstances, for the circumstances were anything but peaceful, but in the oath they had sworn in the name of Yahweh. Their relationship was not based on fleeting emotion, but on a solemn vow made before the living God.
And the oath is the anchor. "Yahweh will be between me and you." God Himself is the witness and the guarantor of their covenant. He stands between them, not to separate them, but to bind them together, even when they are physically apart. This is the essence of all Christian fellowship. Christ is the one who stands between us, mediating our relationships and grounding them in His own faithfulness.
But the covenant extends beyond them personally. It is "between my seed and your seed forever." This is profoundly significant. Jonathan is not just making a personal promise; he is binding his descendants. He is acknowledging that David's line, not his own, will be the royal line. He is entrusting his own posterity to the care of David and David's posterity. This is an act of incredible faith. Jonathan is looking past his own death, past the turmoil of Saul's reign, and seeing the long-term plan of God. And David, as we know, will honor this. Years later, he will seek out Jonathan's crippled son, Mephibosheth, and show him kindness "for Jonathan's sake" (2 Samuel 9:7).
The final sentence is stark in its simplicity. "Then he rose and departed, while Jonathan went into the city." Two paths diverge. David goes into the wilderness, the place of testing and preparation. Jonathan goes back into the city, back into the lion's den, where his loyalty will be tested to the breaking point. They would meet only one more time, but their covenant would hold fast, guaranteed by God Himself, a testament to a friendship that was stronger than death.
Friendship in the Face of the Dragon
So what do we do with this? This story is a portrait of godly friendship, a friendship that is loyal, sacrificial, and rooted in a shared commitment to God. It is a friendship that costs something. Jonathan risked his life and gave up a kingdom for his friend. David honored that covenant for the rest of his days. Their bond was a rebuke to the self-serving, pragmatic relationships of the world.
But this is more than just a moral example. David is the Lord's anointed, a type of Christ. He is the rightful king, rejected by the ruling authorities and hunted by a madman. Saul is a type of the world, a type of the devil, who rages against God's chosen king and seeks to destroy him. And Jonathan? Jonathan is a picture of the true believer who must make a choice.
Every one of us is born into the house of Saul. We are born into a world system that is at enmity with God. We are born with loyalties to family, to nation, to self, that are often set in opposition to the claims of King Jesus. And then we meet David. We meet the true King. And we are faced with the same choice as Jonathan. Will we cling to the crumbling kingdom of Saul, or will we pledge our allegiance to the coming King, even if it costs us everything?
Like Jonathan, our loyalty to Christ will put us at odds with the world. It may put us at odds with our own families. Jesus said, "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father..." (Matthew 10:34-35). Choosing Christ is a declaration of war against the tyranny of Saul.
And like David and Jonathan, our fellowship is grounded in a covenant, sworn in the name of Yahweh. We have a greater Jonathan, the Lord Jesus Christ, who did not just risk a kingdom for us, but left His throne in glory, disarmed Himself, and came to find us when we were hunted by the great Dragon. He did not send an arrow past us; He took the arrow for us. He stood between us and the wrath of God. And because of the covenant sealed in His blood, He sends us out into the wilderness of this world with the blessing, "Go in peace." Our circumstances may be chaotic, but our standing is secure. For He has sworn, "Yahweh will be between me and you, and between my seed and your seed forever." He is our covenant friend, and He has promised to show kindness to us and to our children, for His own sake, forever.