A Husband's Prayer and a Wife's Obedience Text: Judges 13:8-14
Introduction: The Godly Household in Ungodly Times
The book of Judges is a grim and bloody business. It’s a downward spiral, a repeating cycle of apostasy, oppression, crying out, and deliverance, with each cycle sinking Israel lower than the last. The refrain of the book is that "every man did what was right in his own eyes" (Judges 21:25), which is the biblical definition of anarchy and chaos. It is into this swirling vortex of compromise and rebellion that God determines to raise up a deliverer, Samson. But before we get to the deliverer, God first gives us a picture of the household from which this deliverer will come. And this is always God's way. Reformation, revival, and deliverance do not begin with grand political programs or mass movements. They begin in the home. They begin with a man and a woman, fearing God and seeking to walk in His ways, even when the whole world around them has gone stark raving mad.
In our passage today, we see the response of Manoah and his wife to the stunning angelic announcement that they, a barren couple, would have a son. And their response is a beautiful illustration of godly patriarchy in action. It is a picture of a husband's leadership in prayer and a wife's faithful submission and initiative. This is not the brittle, domineering caricature of headship that our effeminate age loves to mock. This is true headship, which is humble, seeking, and responsible. And it is true submission, which is intelligent, active, and respectful. What we have here is a husband and wife functioning as a team, under God, for the purpose of raising a covenant child in a corrupt generation. This is a pattern that is desperately needed in our own day, where the lines are blurred, the roles are confused, and the children are, as a consequence, adrift.
We are going to see a husband who doesn't know everything but knows where to go for answers. We will see a wife who honors her husband's headship, not by being passive, but by being a diligent and faithful messenger. And we will see the Angel of Yahweh, a pre-incarnate appearance of Christ Himself, patiently instructing them on the path of covenant faithfulness. This is not just a quaint historical narrative; it is a practical theology for the Christian family.
The Text
Then Manoah entreated Yahweh and said, “O Lord, please let the man of God whom You have sent come to us again that he may instruct us what to do for the boy who is to be born.” And God listened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again to the woman as she was sitting in the field, but Manoah her husband was not with her. So the woman ran quickly and told her husband, and she said to him, “Behold, the man who came the other day to me has appeared to me.” Then Manoah arose and followed his wife, and when he came to the man he said to him, “Are you the man who spoke to the woman?” And he said, “I am.” So Manoah said, “Now your words will come to pass. What shall be the judgment governing the boy and his work?” So the angel of Yahweh said to Manoah, “Let the woman be careful in all that I said. She should not eat anything that comes from the vine, nor drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing; let her keep all that I commanded.”
(Judges 13:8-14 LSB)
A Husband's Entreaty (v. 8)
We begin with Manoah's response to his wife's incredible news.
"Then Manoah entreated Yahweh and said, 'O Lord, please let the man of God whom You have sent come to us again that he may instruct us what to do for the boy who is to be born.'" (Judges 13:8)
The first thing to notice is what Manoah does. He prays. His wife comes to him with a report that would have sent a lesser man into a tailspin of doubt or frantic activity. But Manoah, as the head of his house, takes the matter to the Head of all things. He takes spiritual responsibility. This is the first mark of a federal husband. He knows he is responsible for the spiritual direction of his family, and he knows he is not adequate for the task in himself. So he goes to God.
His prayer is humble and specific. He doesn't question his wife's report. He accepts the promise as true. His concern is not "if" this will happen, but "how" they are to respond when it does. "Instruct us what to do for the boy." This is the great question of all covenant parents. God has given us a promise, a child. Now, how do we raise him? What is the rule, the standard, the "judgment" that is to govern his life? Manoah understands that this promised child is not his personal project. He is God's child, set apart for God's purposes, and therefore must be raised by God's rules. He is asking for the owner's manual.
This is a direct rebuke to the modern parenting ethos, which is a toxic sludge of sentimentalism, pragmatism, and pop psychology. We think we know what to do. We read the books, we follow the influencers, we do what feels right in our own eyes. Manoah knows better. He knows that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and that includes the wisdom of parenting. He wants divine instruction. He is asking for God's law to be the foundation of his household.
God's Gracious Answer (v. 9-11)
God is pleased to answer such a prayer, though He does so in a way that continues to test and involve both husband and wife.
"And God listened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again to the woman as she was sitting in the field, but Manoah her husband was not with her. So the woman ran quickly and told her husband, and she said to him, 'Behold, the man who came the other day to me has appeared to me.' Then Manoah arose and followed his wife..." (Judges 13:9-11)
First, we are told plainly, "God listened to the voice of Manoah." This is a profound encouragement. God hears the prayers of husbands who are earnestly seeking to lead their families in righteousness. He is not a distant deity, but a Father who delights to give good gifts to His children, and wisdom is chief among them.
But notice the curious detail. God answers Manoah's prayer, but the angel appears again to his wife, and she is alone. Why? This is not a divine snub of Manoah. Rather, it is a divine affirmation of the wife's role as a faithful helper and a test of the couple's unity. God is knitting them together in this task. The wife received the first revelation, and she brought it faithfully to her husband. Now she receives the second visitation, and she must again be the messenger. God is honoring her. He is showing that His communication is not restricted to the man, even though the man bears the final responsibility.
And her response is exemplary. She doesn't pout because her husband wasn't there. She doesn't try to handle the situation herself. She "ran quickly." There is an urgency and a joyful submission here. She understands her role. She is the bearer of important news, and she brings it straight to her head. "Behold, the man...has appeared to me." Her report is immediate and accurate. And Manoah's response is equally commendable. He "arose and followed his wife." He trusts her. He doesn't say, "Are you sure? Maybe you were just seeing things." He honors her by acting on her word. This is a beautiful dance of covenantal headship and submission. He leads by praying, she helps by running, he leads by following her to the source of the instruction. They are working together, each in their God-assigned role.
Seeking Clarity and Confirmation (v. 12)
When Manoah comes face to face with the Angel, he demonstrates both faith and a desire for clear, actionable instruction.
"So Manoah said, 'Now your words will come to pass. What shall be the judgment governing the boy and his work?'" (Judges 13:12)
Manoah first confirms the identity of the messenger: "Are you the man who spoke to the woman?" The Angel, who we should understand to be the pre-incarnate Christ, the Word of God in person, simply says, "I am." This is a divine name, echoing God's revelation to Moses. Manoah is in the presence of God.
His next statement is one of robust faith: "Now your words will come to pass." There is no wavering here. He is not like Zechariah in the temple, who asked for a sign and was struck dumb for his unbelief. Manoah believes the promise. His question is not about the "if" but the "what now." He repeats his earlier prayer, but with more precision. "What shall be the judgment governing the boy and his work?" The word for "judgment" here is mishpat. It means the rule, the ordinance, the standard. The word for "work" is maaseh, his deeds, his vocation. Manoah is asking, "What is the rule of life for this child, and what is his life's work going to be?" This is a thoroughly covenantal mindset. He wants to know the stipulations of the covenant for his son's life so that he can raise him accordingly.
The Reaffirmed Standard (v. 13-14)
The Angel's answer is significant, both for what he says and for how he says it. He redirects the responsibility back to where it must be lived out.
"So the angel of Yahweh said to Manoah, 'Let the woman be careful in all that I said. She should not eat anything that comes from the vine, nor drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing; let her keep all that I commanded.'" (Judges 13:13-14)
The Angel doesn't give Manoah a new, detailed list of parenting techniques. He doesn't reveal the whole scope of Samson's future career. Instead, he points right back to the original instructions he gave to the wife. And he directs his command to Manoah, but it concerns the wife's obedience: "Let the woman be careful..."
This is profoundly important. The Angel is reinforcing the husband's headship. Manoah, you asked for instructions. Here they are: Your primary responsibility right now is to ensure that your wife faithfully keeps the commands I have already given her. The Nazirite vow for the child begins with the mother's obedience during her pregnancy. The spiritual formation of this deliverer starts in the womb, and it is tied directly to the mother's consecrated diet. The husband's job is to oversee, protect, and encourage that obedience.
The instructions are a summary of the Nazirite vow concerning diet. No grape products, no alcohol, and no unclean food. This is a call to separation. This child is to be set apart for God from his very conception. The mother's body is the first temple for this child, and it must be kept according to the rules of holiness that will define his life. The Angel concludes with a comprehensive command: "let her keep all that I commanded." The standard is not partial obedience. It is total submission to the Word of God.
This places the responsibility squarely on the household. Deliverance for Israel is not going to drop out of the sky. It is going to be born and nurtured in a home where the husband takes responsibility to pray and lead, and where the wife takes responsibility to obey God's commands. The spiritual health of the nation begins with the spiritual health of the family.
Conclusion: The Ordinary Means of Extraordinary Grace
What can we take from this domestic scene in the midst of national decay? We learn that God's methods are often quiet, humble, and centered on the family. While Israel was chasing idols and being crushed by the Philistines, God was at work in a barren woman's womb and in a husband's prayer.
We see the pattern for a godly home. The husband is the head, not because he is more competent or more spiritual, but because God has assigned him the role of taking ultimate responsibility. His first duty is to lead his family to the throne of grace, to seek divine instruction. The wife is the helper, a partner who is intelligent, faithful, and quick to obey. Her submission is not a mindless passivity but an active and joyful cooperation with her husband's leadership and God's commands.
And we see the foundation for raising godly children. It begins before they are even born. It begins with the consecration of the parents, particularly the mother, to the commands of God. Children are a stewardship, and we must ask the same question as Manoah: "What is the rule that should govern them?" The answer is always the Word of God. We are to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, teaching them His law, His promises, and His gospel.
Finally, we see a glimpse of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Angel of Yahweh, who is the ultimate "man of God." He is the one who brings the good news of new life. He is the one who patiently instructs us in the way we should go. And He is the one whose words will most certainly come to pass. Just as this angel promised a deliverer to a barren couple, so Christ is the promised deliverer for a barren and sinful world. Our job, like Manoah and his wife, is to believe the promise, seek His instructions, and walk in careful obedience, starting in our own homes. For it is in the quiet faithfulness of ordinary Christian households that God forges the instruments of extraordinary deliverance.