The Bitter Root of Brotherhood Denied Text: Numbers 20:14-22
Introduction: The Long Memory of a Stolen Blessing
There are some family feuds that run so deep they seem to carve canyons through generations. The bad blood between two brothers, long dead, can still poison the well for their great-great-grandchildren. The original offense might be a distant memory, but the bitterness it produced has a life of its own. It is a root that, once planted in the soil of grievance, grows in the dark and sends up shoots of malice, resentment, and suspicion for centuries.
In our text today, we come to one such encounter. This is not a meeting of strangers on a dusty road. This is a family reunion of sorts, but one where one side shows up with an olive branch and the other with a sword. Israel, the people of Jacob, stand at the border of Edom, the people of Esau. And Moses, on behalf of Israel, makes an appeal that is dripping with covenantal significance. He calls Edom "brother." This is not mere diplomatic flattery. It is a direct appeal to a shared history, a common ancestry in Isaac and Abraham. It is an appeal to covenant obligation.
But the problem is that Esau never got over the stew and the blessing. You will remember the story from Genesis. Esau despised his birthright, selling it for a bowl of lentil soup. And Jacob, with the connivance of his mother, deceived his blind father Isaac to steal the blessing that was meant for Esau. Though the brothers had a sort of reconciliation years later, the text of Scripture makes it plain that the root of bitterness was never fully dug out. And here, centuries later, that bitter root has grown into a thorny, impassable hedge, fortified by a king and his army.
This passage is far more than a historical footnote about a logistical problem on the way to the Promised Land. It is a profound lesson on the nature of bitterness, the obligations of kinship, the difference between belonging to the covenant externally and keeping the covenant from the heart, and the sovereign hand of God that works even through the churlishness of faithless men.
The Text
From Kadesh Moses then sent messengers to the king of Edom: “Thus your brother Israel has said, ‘You know all the hardship that has befallen us, that our fathers went down to Egypt, and we stayed in Egypt a long time, and the Egyptians treated us and our fathers badly. So we cried out to Yahweh, and He heard our voice and sent an angel and brought us out from Egypt; now behold, we are at Kadesh, a town on the edge of your territory. Please let us pass through your land. We will not pass through field or through vineyard; we will not even drink water from a well. We will go along the king’s highway; we will not turn to the right or to the left until we pass through your territory.’ ” Edom, however, said to him, “You shall not pass through us, lest I come out to meet you with the sword.” Again, the sons of Israel said to him, “We will go up by the highway, and if I and my livestock do drink any of your water, then I will pay its price. Let me only pass through on my feet, nothing else.” But he said, “You shall not pass through.” And Edom came out to meet him with a heavy force and with a strong hand. Thus Edom refused to allow Israel to pass through his territory; so Israel turned away from him. Then they set out from Kadesh, and the sons of Israel, the whole congregation, came to Mount Hor.
(Numbers 20:14-22 LSB)
A Reasonable and Brotherly Request (vv. 14-17)
We begin with the appeal from Moses to the king of Edom.
"Thus your brother Israel has said, ‘You know all the hardship that has befallen us...'" (Numbers 20:14)
The entire negotiation is framed by this first, crucial word: "brother." Moses is not just being polite. He is reminding Edom of his covenant identity. They are family. They are both sons of Isaac. This appeal assumes that blood is thicker than water, and that covenant kinship carries with it certain obligations of loyalty and kindness. Moses is, in effect, asking Edom to act like a brother.
He then rehearses their recent history. This is not new information. "You know all the hardship," he says. The news of what God had done in Egypt, the plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, the drowning of Pharaoh's army, this was headline news throughout the ancient Near East. Rahab knew it in Jericho. The Edomites certainly knew it. Moses recounts their long slavery, their harsh treatment, and their miraculous deliverance by the hand of Yahweh. This is a testimony. It is a declaration of what their God, the God of their common father Isaac, has done. It is an invitation for Edom to recognize the hand of God on his brother Israel and to cooperate with God's purposes.
The request itself is eminently reasonable. It is a model of courtesy and respect for private property.
"Please let us pass through your land. We will not pass through field or through vineyard; we will not even drink water from a well. We will go along the king’s highway; we will not turn to the right or to the left..." (Numbers 20:17)
Israel promises to be a model guest. They will stick to the main road, the "king's highway," a major, established trade route. They won't trespass. They won't forage for food or steal water. They will march straight through and out the other side. There is absolutely nothing threatening in this request. It is humble, respectful, and acknowledges Edom's sovereignty over his own land. They are asking for simple right of passage, not for a handout or a territory.
The Churlish and Unreasonable Refusal (vv. 18-21)
Edom's response is immediate, hostile, and absolute.
"Edom, however, said to him, 'You shall not pass through us, lest I come out to meet you with the sword.'" (Numbers 20:18)
Notice there is no negotiation. There is no counter-offer. There is no request for a treaty or a tribute. There is just a flat "No," backed up with the threat of violence. This is the voice of irrational animosity. This is the ancient grudge of Esau speaking. The prophet Obadiah would later pronounce God's judgment on Edom for this very kind of behavior: "For the violence done to your brother Jacob, shame shall cover you... On the day that you stood aloof... you were like one of them" (Obadiah 10-11).
Bitterness has a long memory for grievances and a short memory for grace. Edom remembers the stolen blessing, but forgets the shared blood. Bitterness is an optical illusion. It makes you see your own resentments as righteous and the reasonable requests of others as a profound threat. Edom's fear was not rational. A nation that had just seen God obliterate the superpower of Egypt was not about to be stopped by the Edomite militia. But bitterness doesn't do rational calculation. It only knows its own sourness.
Israel, showing remarkable patience, tries again. They sweeten the deal.
"We will go up by the highway, and if I and my livestock do drink any of your water, then I will pay its price. Let me only pass through on my feet, nothing else." (Numbers 20:19)
They are now offering to become customers. They will pay for any resources they use. They reiterate that they want nothing more than to pass through. This removes any possible economic objection. But the objection was never economic. The objection was rooted in a deep, spiritual hostility.
And so the answer is the same, only this time it is backed up by a show of force.
"But he said, 'You shall not pass through.' And Edom came out to meet him with a heavy force and with a strong hand. Thus Edom refused..." (Numbers 20:20-21)
Edom mobilizes his army. He would rather go to war than show the slightest courtesy to his brother. This is the fruit of a nurtured grudge. This is what happens when a people defines itself not by its covenant calling, but by its historical resentments. The descendants of Esau are still acting like Esau, governed by impulse and animosity rather than faith and covenant duty.
The Divine Restraint and the Long Way Around (v. 21)
Now, the fascinating thing here is what Israel does next. Or rather, what they don't do.
"Thus Edom refused to allow Israel to pass through his territory; so Israel turned away from him." (Numbers 20:21)
Israel had the numbers. And more importantly, they had God. They had just come from a victory over the Canaanites at Hormah (Num. 21:1-3, which likely happens right around this time). They could have forced the issue. They could have flattened Edom. So why didn't they? Because God had forbidden it. Later, in Deuteronomy, Moses reminds the people of God's specific command regarding Edom: "Do not contend with them, for I will not give you any of their land, no, not so much as for the sole of the foot to tread on, because I have given Mount Seir to Esau as a possession" (Deut. 2:5).
This is a crucial point. God honors His gifts, even to faithless men. He gave that land to Esau, and He would not have Jacob take it from him by force. God's purpose was not for Israel to conquer Edom, but for Edom to show kindness to Israel. Edom failed the test, but God would not allow Israel to retaliate in kind. The wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God. Israel's instruction was to turn away, to take the long, hard road around.
This teaches us a vital lesson about God's sovereignty. God's plans are not thwarted by human sinfulness. Edom's refusal was a sin. It was a failure of brotherly love. It was an act of covenant infidelity. And yet, it was incorporated into God's sovereign plan. The detour was part of the journey. God was teaching Israel patience and obedience. He was teaching them that the fulfillment of His promises does not depend on the cooperation of unbelievers. He can make a way through the sea, and He can make a way around a stubborn brother.
Conclusion: The True Elder Brother
This sad episode is a picture of two kinds of covenant relation. Edom is a picture of the external, ethnic connection to the covenant that is void of faith. They are "of Israel" but they are not "Israel." They are kin according to the flesh, but they are strangers to the promise in their hearts. Their identity is rooted in the bitter memory of what they believe was stolen from them. And because of this bitterness, when their brother comes, needy and on a divine mission, they meet him with a sword.
This story points us forward to a greater conflict between brothers. When the true Israel, Jesus Christ, came to His own, His own kinsmen according to the flesh, how did they receive Him? "He came to His own, and His own people did not receive Him" (John 1:11). They refused Him passage. They met Him not just with a sword, but with a cross. Like Edom, their refusal was not based on reason, but on a deep-seated, spiritual animosity. They were jealous of His blessing and authority.
But unlike the first Israel, Jesus is not just our brother; He is the perfect Elder Brother. Where Esau despised his birthright, Jesus cherished His, and laid it down for our sake. Where Jacob was a deceiver who stole a blessing, Jesus is the truth who gives a blessing He purchased with His own blood. Where Edom refused to let his brother pass, Jesus opened up a new and living way for us, His rebellious younger brothers, to pass directly into the Holy of Holies, into the presence of the Father.
And what is our response to Him? When He comes to us, asking for passage through our lives, do we meet Him with suspicion and a drawn sword? Do we harbor old grievances against God for hardships we have faced? Do we allow the bitter root of some past offense to make us churlish and hostile to the overtures of His grace?
The gospel call is to lay down the sword of our rebellion. It is to recognize that our Elder Brother comes not to take from us, but to give us everything. He does not ask for passage so that He can trample our fields; He asks for passage so that He can make our barren fields fruitful. He does not ask for our water to quench His thirst; He asks so that He can turn our wells into springs of living water. The choice is the same one that faced the king of Edom: will we act like a brother to the King of Kings, or will we let the old bitterness of our father Adam define us, and turn Him away?