Commentary - Exodus 22:16-17

Bird's-eye view

This brief but potent piece of case law addresses the consequences of consensual premarital sex in ancient Israel. A man who seduces an unbetrothed virgin is not given a slap on the wrist, nor is he simply shamed. Rather, the law compels him to take full, lifelong responsibility for his actions, with the primary remedy being marriage. He must pay the customary bride price and take her as his wife. However, the law provides a crucial check on this obligation by preserving the authority of the woman's father. If the father deems the man an unsuitable husband for his daughter, he can refuse the marriage. Even so, the seducer is not let off the hook; he must still pay the bride price as a financial restitution for the damage done to the young woman's honor and future marriage prospects. This law is profoundly anti-modern. It treats sexual intimacy with the gravity it deserves, rejects the notion of consequence-free encounters, protects women from being used and abandoned, and upholds the family as the central institution of a healthy society.

In just two verses, God provides a framework that is simultaneously just, merciful, and restorative. It holds the man accountable, protects the woman's future, and honors the father's headship. It is a world away from our modern chaos of sexual license followed by abortion, abandonment, and heartache. This is law that builds and restores a covenant community, rather than simply punishing individuals.

Outline

Context In Exodus

These verses are situated in the heart of what is known as the Book of the Covenant (Exodus 20:22–23:33). Immediately after the giving of the Ten Commandments at Sinai, God provides Moses with this collection of case laws. These are not abstract principles but concrete applications of God's foundational law to the daily life of Israel. They cover everything from worship to slavery, personal injury to property rights. This specific law follows statutes concerning theft and property damage, placing the seduction of a virgin squarely in the category of a violation that requires restitution. It is not primarily a "religious" law in our modern, shrunken sense of the word; it is civil law for a holy nation, designed to promote justice and order within the covenant community. It shows that God's concerns are not limited to the sanctuary but extend to the bedroom and the family home.

Key Issues

Responsibility and Restitution

In our therapeutic age, we want to talk about feelings, trauma, and self-esteem. The Bible, while not ignoring such things, is far more concerned with responsibility, justice, and restoration. This law is not about making the young man feel bad, nor is it about coddling the young woman. It is about fixing what was broken. The man broke something. He took something that did not belong to him, the virginity of a daughter of Israel, which was under the care and protection of her father. Therefore, he must pay for it. The law's first and best option is that he pay for it with his whole life, by becoming her husband. The second option, if the first is unworkable, is that he pay for it with his silver. In either case, he pays. There is no third option where he gets to walk away with a swagger, leaving a trail of devastation behind him. This is a law for growing men up, not for enabling perpetual adolescence.

Verse by Verse Commentary

16 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife.

The situation described is specific. The man "seduces" the virgin. The Hebrew word here implies persuasion and enticement. This is distinct from the case of rape, which is dealt with differently and more severely in Deuteronomy 22. This is a consensual act, but the culpability is placed squarely on the man who initiated and persuaded. She is a virgin, meaning this is a first-time event that fundamentally alters her status. And she is "not engaged," meaning she is not legally bound to another man. The consequence is direct and constructive: he must make her his wife. To do this, he must "pay a dowry," or more accurately, the bride price (mohar). This was the payment a groom made to the bride's father to compensate him for the loss of his daughter and to provide a measure of security for her. Here, the law says, "You acted like her husband in private; now you will become her husband in public." It binds the sexual act to its proper covenantal context: marriage. It is the ultimate expression of "you broke it, you bought it."

17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins.

This second verse is the great pillar of wisdom that supports the first. The law does not create an automatic, inescapable marriage. Why? Because that could easily result in a far greater injustice. What if the seducer is a fool, a wicked man, a "14-carat schlub" who would make a terrible husband and father? Forcing a daughter into a lifelong union with such a man would be a cruel and destructive penalty. Therefore, the law vests the final decision in the hands of the one charged with the young woman's protection: her father. He has the right, and the duty, to "absolutely refuse." He is the guardian of his daughter's well-being. But his refusal does not get the young man off the hook. The financial obligation remains. The man must still pay the full bride price. He has inflicted a real loss. In that culture, a non-virgin had significantly diminished marriage prospects. The payment of the bride price was a financial restitution to the family, restoring the value that the seducer had stolen. It could then serve as a dowry for her eventual marriage to a more suitable man. The justice is multifaceted: the man is penalized, the father's authority is upheld, and the daughter is protected from a disastrous marriage while still receiving a form of restitution.

Application

It is a common folly to dismiss such laws as archaic and irrelevant. But if we extract the general equity, the timeless principle underneath the specific application, we find it is a potent antidote to our current sexual wasteland. What are the principles here?

First, sex has consequences. It is not a game. It is a covenant-making and life-making act. God designed it to be the seal of a permanent, public union. To treat it as casual recreation is to play with fire, and our society is covered in third-degree burns as a result.

Second, men are responsible. The modern world has created a hundred ways for men to evade responsibility for their sexual behavior. This law says the opposite. A man who initiates a sexual relationship has a responsibility to the woman. Our culture tells a man he can have the woman and then, if a child results, pay for an abortion and walk away. The Bible tells him to pay with his name, his protection, and his provision for the rest of his life.

Third, fathers should be fathers. The father in this passage is not a passive bystander. He is the active protector of his daughter's honor and future. Christian fathers today must recover this vision. This doesn't mean locking daughters in a tower, but it does mean teaching them the meaning of sexuality, vetting their suitors, and being prepared to say "absolutely not" to a man who is unworthy of her.

Finally, this points us to the gospel. We are the bride of Christ, but we were unfaithful, seduced by the serpent. We were defiled and had no future. But Christ our Bridegroom did not abandon us. He came and took full responsibility. He paid the ultimate bride price, not with silver or gold, but with His own precious blood (1 Pet 1:18-19). He refused to leave us in our shame, but washed us clean and presented us to Himself as a radiant bride (Eph 5:25-27). This law in Exodus shows us a small picture of the kind of restorative, covenantal justice that finds its ultimate fulfillment in the work of Jesus Christ, who takes broken things and makes them new.