The Face of Grace: Jacob Meets Esau Text: Genesis 33:1-17
Introduction: The Aftermath of a Limp
We come now to one of the most anticipated and dreaded reunions in all of Scripture. For twenty years, Jacob has lived with the consequences of his deceit. He fled from his brother Esau, who had sworn a murderous oath against him. In the intervening years, Jacob the supplanter has been supplanted by his father-in-law Laban, he has wrestled with wives and wages, and he has accumulated a great household. But all of this has been under the shadow of that broken relationship back home. The piper must be paid. The past must be faced.
Just prior to our text, Jacob has had his ultimate confrontation, not with Esau, but with God Himself at the Jabbok. He wrestled with a man who was no mere man, and he walked away from that encounter with two things: a new name, Israel, which means he who strives with God, and a permanent limp. The limp is the key. The old Jacob, the conniving, self-reliant schemer, died that night. The man who walks to meet his brother is a broken man, a man who now clings to God because he has no choice. His hip is out of joint. His natural strength is gone. He is a man who has learned, through a painful mercy, that God’s blessings are not grasped through cleverness but are received by grace.
This is the central lesson. The world thinks that strength is found in self-assertion, in getting the upper hand, in clever maneuvering. But the gospel teaches the opposite. True strength, the kind that can face down a brother with four hundred men, is found in weakness. It is found when we are brought to the end of ourselves and forced to rely on God alone. Jacob’s fear of Esau was a real and legitimate fear. But God’s answer to that fear was not to give Jacob a bigger army, but to break his hip. God’s answer was to make him weak, so that God’s power could be made perfect in that weakness.
This chapter is not fundamentally about family therapy or the power of a heartfelt apology, though those things are present. It is about the overwhelming, surprising, and disarming power of the grace of God. It is about how a prior reconciliation with God, as typified by Jacob’s wrestling match, is the only possible foundation for true reconciliation with man. What we are about to witness is a miracle. A heart of murderous rage is about to be turned into a heart of tender forgiveness, and this is not the result of Jacob's strategy, but of God's sovereign grace moving in the hearts of both men.
The Text
Then Jacob lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two servant-women. And he put the servant-women and their children first, and Leah and her children after them, and Rachel and Joseph after them. But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. And he lifted up his eyes and saw the women and the children and said, “Who are these with you?” And he said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” Then the servant-women came near with their children, and they bowed down. Leah likewise came near with her children, and they bowed down; and afterward Joseph came near with Rachel, and they bowed down. And he said, “What do you mean by all these camps which I have met?” And he said, “To find favor in the sight of my lord.” But Esau said, “I have plenty, my brother; let what you have be your own.” And Jacob said, “No, please, if now I have found favor in your sight, then take my present from my hand, for I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Please take my blessing which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have everything.” Thus he urged him, and he took it. Then Esau said, “Let us take our journey and go, and I will go before you.” But he said to him, “My lord knows that the children are weak and that the flocks and herds which are nursing are a care to me. And if they are driven hard one day, all the flocks will die. Please let my lord pass on before his servant, and I will lead on slowly, according to the pace of the cattle that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my lord at Seir.” Then Esau said, “Please let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “Why do this? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. But Jacob journeyed to Succoth and built for himself a house and made booths for his livestock; therefore the place is named Succoth.
(Genesis 33:1-17 LSB)
Humility and Protocol (vv. 1-3)
We begin with Jacob’s final preparations and his approach.
"Then Jacob lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two servant-women. And he put the servant-women and their children first, and Leah and her children after them, and Rachel and Joseph after them. But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother." (Genesis 33:1-3)
The moment of truth arrives. Esau and his four hundred men appear on the horizon. This is a formidable force, and Jacob’s fear is palpable. His first reaction is strategic. He arranges his family in a procession. The handmaids and their children go first, then Leah and her children, and finally, in the place of greatest safety, Rachel and Joseph. This is a pragmatic move, but it also reveals the hierarchy of Jacob’s affections. The old Jacob is still in there, trying to manage the crisis.
But then something remarkable happens. The man who just arranged his family to protect his favorites puts himself at the very front. "He himself passed on ahead of them." The shepherd goes before the flock. This is not the Jacob who fled from Esau twenty years earlier. This is a man changed by his encounter with God. He is limping, he is weak, but he is leading from the front, ready to absorb the first blow of Esau's wrath.
And what does he do? He bows to the ground seven times. This is not just a polite nod. This is the posture of a vassal before his suzerain, a servant before his lord. It is an act of profound self-abasement. Remember the prophecy given to Rebekah: "the older shall serve the younger" (Gen. 25:23). And remember Isaac's blessing to Jacob: "Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be master over your brothers" (Gen. 27:29). Jacob, the one who is destined to rule, humbles himself completely. This is a picture of the gospel. The way up is down. Before exaltation comes humiliation. Jacob had to learn that the blessing of dominion would not be realized through arrogant grasping, but through humble service. He had to bow before he could rule. Christ, our true Jacob, humbled Himself, taking the form of a servant, and was therefore highly exalted.
The Unexpected Embrace (vv. 4-7)
Jacob’s calculated humility is met with a completely unexpected reaction from Esau.
"Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. And he lifted up his eyes and saw the women and the children and said, 'Who are these with you?' And he said, 'The children whom God has graciously given your servant.' Then the servant-women came near with their children, and they bowed down. Leah likewise came near with her children, and they bowed down; and afterward Joseph came near with Rachel, and they bowed down." (Genesis 33:4-7)
This is the central miracle of the chapter. Jacob approaches with fear and trembling, expecting a sword, and he receives an embrace. The text piles up the verbs to emphasize the sheer passion of Esau’s forgiveness: he ran, he embraced, he fell on his neck, he kissed him. And they wept. These are not tears of sorrow, but of reconciliation. The twenty years of bitterness and murderous rage have been washed away in a moment.
Where did this come from? We are given no indication that Esau had undergone some kind of moral self-improvement program. The only explanation is that God, in His sovereignty, had prepared Esau's heart. While God was wrestling with Jacob at the Jabbok, He was also working on Esau out on the trail. This is a stunning display of God's providence. God is the one who turns the hearts of kings, and He is the one who can turn the heart of a vengeful brother. Our attempts at reconciliation, however humble, are useless unless God has gone before us to soften the ground.
Notice Jacob’s response when Esau asks about his family. He says, "The children whom God has graciously given your servant." The new Jacob is quick to acknowledge the source of all his blessings. He doesn't say, "these are the children I've acquired through my hard work." He confesses that his family, his wealth, his very life, is a gift of grace. He has learned the lesson of his limp. The family then follows his lead, bowing before Esau, honoring the man their father now honors.
The Face of God (vv. 8-11)
The reconciliation deepens as they discuss the extravagant gifts Jacob had sent ahead.
"And he said, 'What do you mean by all these camps which I have met?' And he said, 'To find favor in the sight of my lord.' But Esau said, 'I have plenty, my brother; let what you have be your own.' And Jacob said, 'No, please, if now I have found favor in your sight, then take my present from my hand, for I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Please take my blessing which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have everything.' Thus he urged him, and he took it." (Genesis 33:8-11)
Esau, in his newfound graciousness, initially refuses the gift. "I have plenty, my brother." The man who once felt cheated out of everything now confesses he has enough. This is another mark of God's work in him. But Jacob insists, and his reason is profoundly theological. "For I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably."
What does he mean by this? Is this just hyperbole, an oriental flattery? Not at all. Jacob had just spent the night wrestling with God and said, "I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered" (Gen. 32:30). He expected to die in that encounter, but he received a blessing. Now, he comes to Esau, expecting to be killed, and instead he receives grace, favor, and an embrace. To find such undeserved acceptance and pardon from the brother he had wronged was like seeing the face of God all over again. It was a tangible, earthly reflection of the divine pardon he had just received. This is what true forgiveness looks like. It is a window into the character of God. When we forgive those who have wronged us, we show them the face of God.
Jacob urges Esau to take his "blessing." The Hebrew word is berakah, the very thing he stole twenty years ago. In offering this gift, Jacob is, in a sense, making restitution. He is not trying to give back the covenantal birthright, that was God's to give, but he is sharing the material fruit of that blessing with the brother he had wronged. He is demonstrating that the blessing he received from God has made him generous, not grasping. And again, he testifies to the reason: "because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have everything." A man who knows he has received everything by grace is a man who can give freely.
A Separate Peace (vv. 12-17)
The chapter concludes with the brothers parting ways, their reconciliation secure but their paths diverging.
"Then Esau said, 'Let us take our journey and go, and I will go before you.'... Please let my lord pass on before his servant, and I will lead on slowly... until I come to my lord at Seir.' ... So Esau returned that day on his way to Seir. But Jacob journeyed to Succoth..." (Genesis 33:12-17)
Esau makes a generous offer to travel with Jacob, even to provide an escort. But Jacob politely declines. He explains that his pace is dictated by the needs of his children and his livestock. He must travel slowly. He tells Esau to go on ahead, and that he will follow him to Seir. But this is not what happens. Esau goes to Seir, the land of Edom, but Jacob turns and heads to Succoth, and then on toward the Promised Land.
Is this another instance of Jacob's deceit? Some commentators think so. But it is more likely an act of wisdom and prudence. The reconciliation was real and miraculous, but it was also fresh. The two brothers and their large households were fundamentally different. Esau was a man of the hunt, a man of the sword, living in the hill country of Seir. Jacob was a shepherd, a man of the covenant, heading for the land promised to him by God. To travel together would have been to invite friction and conflict. Jacob understood that true peace sometimes requires a wise separation. Their vocations were different. Their destinies were different.
Reconciliation does not always mean a complete restoration of the previous relationship, especially when that relationship was built on a dysfunctional foundation. Forgiveness is mandatory for the Christian, but the shape of the future relationship requires wisdom. Jacob honored his brother, he made peace with his brother, but he did not entangle his covenant destiny with Esau's worldly one. He led his family toward the promise, at the pace of grace.
Conclusion: The Limp of Grace
The story of Jacob and Esau is our story. In our sin, we are all Jacobs, scheming and striving in our own strength, trying to grasp blessings that are not ours to take. We are estranged from our brother, Christ, and from our Father, God. And God, in His mercy, comes to us. He meets us at our Jabbok, in the dark night of our soul. He wrestles with us. He breaks our self-reliance. He wounds our pride. He makes us weak, so that we might learn to cling to Him alone.
And when we are thus broken, when we walk with the limp of humility, we are finally ready to be reconciled. We come to God, expecting judgment, and we are met with an embrace. We see in the face of Jesus Christ the very face of God, receiving us favorably, not because we deserve it, but because He is gracious. This is the gospel. It is the story of a God who runs to us while we are still a long way off.
This encounter with grace changes everything. It makes us people who confess that everything we have is a gift. It makes us people who can humble ourselves before those we have wronged. And it makes us people who can extend forgiveness to others, showing them a glimpse of the face of God. The Christian life is a long, slow journey, walking with a limp, at the pace of the weakest member of the flock, toward the promised land. We do not walk in our own strength, but in the strength that God supplies, clinging to the one who was broken for us, so that we might be made whole.