The Diotrephes Disease: When Ego Pastors the Church Text: 3 John 1:9-10
Introduction: Two Kinds of Exclusion
The Christian faith requires us to make distinctions. We are commanded to draw lines. In his second letter, the apostle John gives a stern and necessary command to a godly woman: if anyone comes to you and does not bring the doctrine of Christ, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting. To do so would be to participate in his wicked works. This is a hard-edged command, a necessary form of spiritual quarantine. Truth must draw a hard line, and love is the reason why.
But here, in his third letter, John shows us the dark twin of that same action. He shows us a man named Diotrephes who also draws lines, who also refuses to welcome people, who also puts people out. And John tells us that this man is a mortal danger to the church. So what is the difference? The difference is the difference between a surgeon's scalpel and a murderer's knife. The difference is the difference between a shepherd protecting the flock from wolves and a wolf devouring the flock for his own gratification. John commands exclusion on the basis of true doctrine. Diotrephes practices exclusion on the basis of his own ego.
This is a perennial temptation in the church. Whenever God grants authority to men, which He does, sin immediately sees an opportunity. The temptation is to take the authority that was delegated by Christ and to begin to operate it as though it were inherent. The temptation is to stop managing the household of God and to start acting like you own the house. This is the Diotrephes disease. It is the sin of loving to be first, and it is a cancer that metastasizes into slander, tyranny, and schism. John, in these two brief verses, gives us a master class in diagnosing this spiritual pathology. He shows us the root, the fruit, and the apostolic remedy.
We must pay close attention, because every church has a Diotrephes in waiting. Every pastor, every elder, every influential member must fight this temptation in his own heart. And every congregation must learn to tell the difference between a faithful shepherd guarding the gate and an arrogant gatekeeper who has changed the locks for his own glory.
The Text
I wrote something to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not welcome what we say. For this reason, if I come, I will bring to remembrance his deeds which he does, unjustly disparaging us with wicked words. And not satisfied with this, he himself does not welcome the brothers either, and he forbids those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.
(3 John 1:9-10 LSB)
The Root of the Rot: Love of Preeminence (v. 9)
John begins by identifying the source of the whole conflict. It is a problem of the heart, a problem of disordered love.
"I wrote something to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not welcome what we say." (3 John 1:9)
John had written a previous letter to this church, likely a letter of commendation for the traveling missionaries he mentions earlier. But the letter was intercepted or ignored. Why? Because of Diotrephes. And John, with Spirit-inspired precision, puts his finger right on the spiritual tumor: Diotrephes "loves to be first." The Greek is philoproteuon, a lover of first place. This is the primordial sin. It is the sin of Satan, who was not content with his place and sought to ascend to the throne of God. It is the sin of Adam, who wanted to be like God, defining good and evil for himself. It is the sin of the Pharisees, who loved the best seats in the synagogue and the greetings in the marketplaces.
This love of preeminence is the absolute antithesis of the spirit of Christ, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant. Jesus teaches that the first shall be last, and the leader must be the slave of all. Diotrephes has inverted the gospel. He sees leadership not as a towel and a basin for service, but as a throne and a scepter for rule. His identity is not found in Christ, but in his position. Therefore, any challenge to his position is a challenge to his very being.
And so, what is the first consequence of this pride? "He does not welcome what we say." The word is epidechetai, which means to receive or accept. Diotrephes refuses to receive the apostle John's authority. Think about this. This is the last living apostle, the beloved disciple who leaned on Jesus' breast at the Last Supper. And this puffed-up ecclesiastical tyrant in some backwater church refuses to acknowledge him. Pride is always insubordinate. The man who loves to be first cannot stomach the thought that there is anyone above him. He cannot submit to apostolic authority because in his mind, he is the apostolic authority. He has made his own office into the papacy of one.
This is why sound doctrine and church polity are so important. When a man's ego is the ultimate authority, the Word of God is necessarily demoted to the status of a helpful suggestion. He will not receive the word of an apostle because it comes from outside of him. It is a threat to his autonomy. This is the first and clearest sign of a Diotrephes: he will not be told. He is unteachable, unaccountable, and unsubmissive to any authority but his own.
The Fruit of the Rot: Slander and Tyranny (v. 10)
In verse 10, John lays out the rotten fruit that grows from this poisonous root of pride. The progression is logical and inevitable.
"For this reason, if I come, I will bring to remembrance his deeds which he does, unjustly disparaging us with wicked words. And not satisfied with this, he himself does not welcome the brothers either, and he forbids those who want to do so and puts them out of the church." (3 John 1:10)
First, notice John's pastoral courage. "If I come, I will bring to remembrance his deeds." This is not a threat born of personal pique. This is apostolic discipline. John is not going to sweep this under the rug. He is going to deal with it publicly, head-on. True shepherds protect the sheep, and sometimes that means you have to grab a wolf by the scruff of the neck.
The first deed is slander. Diotrephes is "unjustly disparaging us with wicked words." The man who cannot submit to authority must seek to destroy it. Since he cannot refute John's doctrine or deny his apostolic commission, he resorts to character assassination. He starts whispering campaigns. He uses "wicked words," ponerois, which implies words that are not just false, but actively malicious, intended to do harm. This is what proud men do when their authority is questioned. They cannot engage the argument, so they attack the person. They gossip, they slander, they misrepresent, they impugn motives. They create a cloud of suspicion and accusation to obscure the truth they are determined to reject.
But his pride is insatiable. Slandering an apostle is not enough. "And not satisfied with this, he himself does not welcome the brothers either." The slander against the apostle leads to a rejection of the apostle's friends. These are the faithful missionaries, traveling for the sake of the Name, whom Gaius was faithfully welcoming. Diotrephes, in his self-appointed role as gatekeeper, refuses them entry. Why? Because these men represent John's authority. To welcome them would be to acknowledge John. It would be to admit that his church is part of something larger than himself. The prideful man wants his church to be a kingdom, and he wants to be its king. He cannot tolerate outside allegiances.
The final step is outright tyranny. "He forbids those who want to do so and puts them out of the church." This is the pinnacle of his arrogance. Not only does he refuse to show hospitality, but he excommunicates anyone who dares to disobey him and show hospitality themselves. He turns the key of church discipline, a tool given by Christ for the purpose of repentance and restoration, into a weapon to enforce personal loyalty. He excommunicates the righteous. He kicks out the very people, like Gaius, who are walking in the truth. This is the ultimate inversion. The church's discipline is meant to exclude the unrepentant sinner in order to protect the flock. Diotrephes uses it to exclude the obedient saint in order to protect his ego.
This is what happens when church discipline is detached from the Word of God and becomes a tool of the leadership's will. It ceases to be excommunication and becomes mere shunning. It is a power play. Diotrephes has made himself the standard of righteousness. To agree with him is faithfulness. To disagree with him is heresy, worthy of being cast out. This is the very definition of a cult leader in miniature.
Conclusion: The Apostolic Confrontation
So what is the takeaway for us? This passage is a permanent warning sign for the church in every age. We must learn to recognize the Diotrephes disease, both in ourselves and in our leaders.
The root is always a love of being first. It is a heart that craves recognition, power, and control more than it craves Christ. It is a man who is more concerned with his reputation than with God's glory.
The fruit follows a predictable pattern. First, a resistance to outside authority, particularly the authority of God's Word. The teaching of the church must bend to his will. Second, the use of wicked words, slander, and gossip to undermine any who challenge him. He controls the narrative by poisoning the well. Third, a factious and inhospitable spirit. He creates an "us versus them" mentality, where loyalty to him is the primary mark of faithfulness. Finally, the abuse of authority, particularly the misuse of church discipline, to punish dissent and consolidate power.
The remedy is what John models for us: courageous, public confrontation based on the facts. "I will bring to remembrance his deeds." This is not sinful slander; it is righteous judgment. The playing field is not level. A duly constituted authority calling out the specific sins of a usurper is not the same thing as the usurper whispering malicious lies. Jesus called the Pharisees whitewashed tombs because they were. They called Him a glutton and a drunkard, and that was a lie. Truth matters.
We are to imitate Gaius, who walks in the truth and loves the brethren, and Demetrius, who has a good testimony from all. And we are to refuse to imitate Diotrephes. We must pray for leaders who, like John the Baptist, are content to say, "He must increase, but I must decrease." We must cultivate churches where the Word of God is the only unquestioned authority, and where all human leaders, no matter how gifted, are submitted to that Word and to the brethren. And when a man who loves to be first begins his wicked work, the faithful must be prepared, like John, to stand up, speak the truth, and call his deeds what they are: a rebellion against the true head of the Church, the Lord Jesus Christ.