The Objective Shape of Love Text: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Introduction: The Battle for the Dictionary
We live in an age that has weaponized the word "love." It is a marshmallow word, a sentimental goo, a catch-all justification for every manner of rebellion against the created order. In the name of love, we are told to celebrate what God condemns, to affirm what God forbids, and to call good what God calls an abomination. The modern world defines love as an affirmation of autonomous desire. It is a feeling, an intention, a vague niceness that must never, ever draw a hard line or make a moral judgment. This is a lawless love, which is to say, it is not love at all. It is a counterfeit, a cheap knock-off, a lie from the pit.
When the world says "love," it means "you do you, and I'll do me, and let's all feel good about it." But when the Bible speaks of love, it is not describing a subjective feeling. It is defining an objective reality. It is describing a set of actions, a pattern of behavior, a way of life that is rooted and grounded in the very character of God. Biblical love has a shape. It has bones. It has a spine. It is not a mist; it is a fortress.
The Corinthian church was much like our own age. They were gifted, charismatic, and zealous, but they were also arrogant, factious, and morally chaotic. They were suing each other, tolerating gross sexual sin, and turning the Lord's Supper into a drunken party. They had all the spiritual gifts, but they were using them like toddlers with loaded pistols. Into this chaos, the Apostle Paul does not suggest a group hug. He does not tell them to "just be nicer." He drops a theological plumb line. He defines love. He gives them, and us, the divine diagnostic for what true, godly, covenantal love actually looks like in practice. This chapter is not a sentimental detour in Paul's argument; it is the very heart of it. Without this kind of love, all our gifts, all our knowledge, and all our sacrifice are nothing but a clanging gong, a noisy distraction signifying nothing.
So we must come to this text with the understanding that we are engaged in a battle for the dictionary. If our adversaries get to define the terms, they will win the war. We must allow God, and not our feelings, not our culture, and not Oprah, to define what love is. And what we find here is that love is not a passive sentiment; it is a series of rugged, active, and demanding verbs.
The Text
Love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, does not brag, is not puffed up; it does not act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered; it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7 LSB)
The Positive Character of Love (v. 4a)
Paul begins with two foundational positive descriptions.
"Love is patient, love is kind..." (1 Corinthians 13:4a)
Love is patient. The Greek word is makrothumeo, which means "long-tempered." It is the opposite of a short fuse. This is not the patience of a man waiting for a bus. This is the patience that endures injury from others without retaliation. It is the character of God Himself, who is "slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love" (Psalm 103:8). This is a covenantal patience. It is the husband who bears with the failings of his wife, the mother who endures the foolishness of her children, the church member who refuses to be offended by the quirks of his brother. This patience is possible only because we recognize that we ourselves are the chief recipients of God's immense patience. He has borne with our sin, our rebellion, our spiritual idiocy. For us to then have a short fuse with others is the height of hypocrisy. It is to be the unmerciful servant who, having been forgiven a ten-thousand-talent debt, goes out and throttles his brother over a hundred denarii.
Love is kind. Kindness is not mere niceness. Niceness avoids conflict at all costs. Kindness, on the other hand, is active goodness. It is love in action. The Greek word is chresteuomai, and it carries the idea of being useful, of acting for the welfare of another. A surgeon is not "nice" when he cuts out a tumor, but he is most certainly kind. A father is not "nice" when he disciplines his son, but if he does so in faith, he is being kind. Kindness seeks the true good of the other person, even when it is difficult or unpleasant. It gives a cup of cold water, yes, but it also gives a sharp word of rebuke when needed. It is a practical, helpful, constructive attribute. Patience endures the wrong; kindness returns good for that wrong.
The Negative Definition of Love (vv. 4b-6a)
After the two positive bookends, Paul gives us a series of eight negatives. He tells us what love is not. This is crucial because our fallen hearts are experts at dressing up our sins in the respectable clothes of "love."
"...is not jealous, does not brag, is not puffed up; it does not act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered; it does not rejoice in unrighteousness..." (1 Corinthians 13:4b-6a LSB)
Love is not jealous. The word here is zeloo, from which we get "zeal." There is a righteous jealousy, as when God is jealous for His own honor, or a husband for his wife. But the jealousy Paul condemns here is envy. Envy is more than just wanting what someone else has. Envy is the malicious desire that the other person not have it. It is a soul-rotting sin that cannot stand to see another blessed. The Corinthians, with their competing spiritual gifts, were rife with this. Love, by contrast, desires the good of the other and rejoices when they are honored or blessed, even if it is at our own expense.
Love does not brag, is not puffed up. These two are cousins. Bragging is the outward expression of an inward arrogance. To be "puffed up" is to be inflated with a sense of self-importance. It is the sin of the Pharisee in the temple, thanking God that he is not like other men. This was the root problem in Corinth. They were arrogant about their wisdom, their liberty, their gifts. But true love is humble. It does not need to broadcast its accomplishments because its security is in Christ, not in the applause of men. Love deflates the ego. It knows that everything we have is a gift, and so there is no ground for boasting.
It does not act unbecomingly. This means it is not rude. It does not behave disgracefully. It has good manners. Love is not a boor. It understands propriety and acts with courtesy and respect. This is not some superficial etiquette. It is the recognition that other people are made in the image of God and are therefore worthy of honor. The Corinthians were acting unbecomingly in their worship services, getting drunk and despising the poor. Love pays attention to others and considers their needs and comfort above its own.
It does not seek its own. This is the very definition of selfishness. The natural man is curved in on himself. His default setting is "what's in it for me?" Love is the opposite. It is oriented outward. "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4). This strikes at the heart of our modern therapeutic culture, which tells us that the highest good is self-actualization and self-care. The Bible says the highest good is to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Christ.
It is not provoked. This means it is not easily angered. It is not touchy, irritable, or resentful. Love has thick skin. It does not take offense easily because it is not focused on its own rights and dignity. This doesn't mean love is a doormat. There is a righteous anger against sin and injustice. But the anger condemned here is the selfish, peevish anger that erupts when our pride is wounded or our plans are frustrated.
It does not take into account a wrong suffered. The Greek here is an accounting term. It means love does not keep a ledger of grievances. It doesn't maintain a detailed file of all the ways it has been wronged, ready to be produced as evidence in the next argument. When love forgives, it truly forgives. It cancels the debt. This is, again, a reflection of how God treats us in Christ. "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12). To keep a record of wrongs is to usurp the role of God, who alone is the judge.
It does not rejoice in unrighteousness. Love takes no pleasure in sin, whether its own or others'. It does not gossip about another's fall. It does not secretly delight when a rival stumbles. It does not laugh at dirty jokes or entertain itself with wickedness on a screen. Our world is soaked in this. It calls evil good and finds great entertainment in depravity. But love's affections are aligned with God's. It hates what God hates.
The Truth-Oriented Nature of Love (v. 6b)
After that long list of negatives, Paul gives us a glorious, central positive.
"...but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:6b LSB)
This is the pivot point. Love is not divorced from truth. In fact, it is inextricably bound to it. The modern conception of love is that it must be tolerant of all beliefs, that truth is relative, and that the most loving thing you can do is affirm someone's error. This is a lie. True love rejoices when the truth is spoken, even when it stings. It rejoices when the truth is lived. It rejoices in the gospel, which is the ultimate truth. Love without truth is sentimentality. Truth without love is brutality. But biblical love holds them together. Love is not a blindfolded Cupid; it is a clear-eyed eagle that delights in the blazing sun of God's reality.
The Four-Fold Endurance of Love (v. 7)
The chapter concludes with four magnificent descriptions of love's resilience and staying power.
"it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7 LSB)
It bears all things. This has the sense of "to cover" or "to protect." Like a roof, love protects others from exposure and shame. It doesn't broadcast faults. It is loyal. It throws a cloak of charity over the sins of others, not to excuse them, but to protect the person while the sin is dealt with biblically. It bears up under trial and difficulty without collapsing.
It believes all things. This does not mean love is gullible or naive. It does not believe lies. In the context of rejoicing with the truth, this means love is not cynical or suspicious. It puts the best construction on things. It is eager to believe the best about others until forced by clear evidence to believe otherwise. It trusts. In a world of cynicism, love assumes innocence, not guilt. It gives the benefit of the doubt.
It hopes all things. Even when the evidence is discouraging, love does not give way to despair. It is filled with an optimistic hope for the future. It hopes for the repentance of the sinner, the restoration of the fallen, and the growth of the saint. This hope is not based on the goodness of man, but on the power and promises of God. Love never gives up on people because God never gives up on His people.
It endures all things. The word here is a military term, meaning to hold one's position in the face of a fierce assault. Love does not quit. It does not run when things get hard. It perseveres through persecution, slander, betrayal, and disappointment. It is the covenant faithfulness of a husband who stays with his wife "till death do us part," for better or for worse. It is the grit and tenacity that finishes the race.
Conclusion: Christ, the Definition of Love
As we read through this list, our natural response should be one of conviction. Who can love like this? The answer, of course, is that no one can, not perfectly. This description is a photograph, and the subject of the photograph is Jesus Christ. Read through the list again and substitute His name for the word "love."
Jesus is patient and kind. Jesus was not envious, did not brag, was not puffed up. Jesus did not act unbecomingly, did not seek His own, was not provoked, and kept no record of wrongs. Jesus did not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoiced with the truth. Jesus bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
This is the love that led Him to the cross. This is the love that was poured out for sinners like us. This is not a standard for us to achieve in our own strength in order to earn God's favor. It is a description of the new heart that God gives us by His Spirit when we are united to Christ by faith. The fruit of the Spirit is love. This kind of love is not something we work up; it is something that God works in.
Therefore, the call is not to try harder to be more loving. The call is to repent of our counterfeit loves, our selfishness, our envy, and our pride. The call is to look to Christ, the perfect embodiment of this love. It is to confess that we cannot love this way apart from Him, and to ask Him to fill us with His Spirit, so that His love might be perfected in us. This is the love that proves we are His disciples. This is the love that will cover a multitude of sins. This is the love that will build the church. And this is the love that will never, ever fail.