Commentary - 1 Corinthians 7:36-38

Bird's-eye view

In this brief but potent section, the apostle Paul addresses the practical outworking of a father's authority and responsibility concerning his virgin daughter. This is not, as our egalitarian age would have it, some dusty relic of a bygone patriarchal era. Rather, it is inspired, timeless instruction on how a Christian household is to navigate the weighty decision of marriage. Paul is concluding his thoughts on the benefits of singleness in a time of "present distress" (v. 26), but he is a realist. He understands that while singleness for the sake of the kingdom is a high calling, the ordinary run of things involves marriage. And marriage, in the biblical pattern, is not a free-for-all where children make autonomous decisions apart from the wisdom and blessing of their parents. Here, Paul places the decision squarely within the father's purview, balancing the daughter's well-being, the father's judgment, and the overarching principle that all our decisions must be for the glory of God.

The passage presents two scenarios. The first is where marriage is the prudent course of action. The second is where remaining single, under the father's care, is the better course. In all of this, the father is the central actor, the one who "gives his own virgin daughter in marriage." This is a truth that chafes against modern sensibilities, which is precisely why we need to hear it. The modern dating scene is a catastrophic failure, a system that manufactures heartbreak and impurity. The biblical alternative, which this passage assumes, is a system of courtship under authority, designed to protect the hearts and bodies of the young, and to establish new families on a firm foundation. Paul is not diminishing the daughter; he is protecting her by honoring the structure God has ordained for her good.

Outline

Context In 1 Corinthians

This passage sits within a larger discussion in chapter 7 where Paul is answering specific questions from the Corinthian church about marriage, divorce, and singleness. The Corinthians were a mess. They were carnal, divided, and confused about how to live out their new faith in a hyper-sexualized pagan culture. Some, it seems, were swinging to an ascetic extreme, perhaps suggesting that celibacy was mandatory for the truly spiritual. Paul corrects this by affirming the goodness of marriage (7:1-9), but he also elevates singleness, not as more holy, but as more strategic in a time of "present distress."

Verses 36-38 must be read as the practical culmination of the principles laid out in verses 25-35. Paul has just argued that the unmarried have the advantage of "undistracted devotion to the Lord" (v. 35). Now he applies this to a real-world situation: a father with a marriageable daughter. How does a godly father apply this principle of "undistracted devotion"? Does he forbid marriage? Does he force it? Paul provides pastoral wisdom that upholds both the father's God-given authority and the practical realities of human nature and circumstances.

Verse by Verse Commentary

1 Corinthians 7:36

But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry.

But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter... The "man" here is the father, the head of the household. The entire framework is patriarchal. He is the one responsible for thinking through this situation. The issue is whether he is acting "unbecomingly." This is not about his daughter's behavior, but his own stewardship. He is asking himself if, by keeping her at home and unmarried, he is creating a situation that is dishonorable or unseemly. This could be for a number of reasons. Perhaps a suitable young man has presented himself. Perhaps keeping her at home is placing her under undue temptation or frustration. A godly father is sensitive to this; he is not a tyrant, but a guardian concerned for his daughter's holistic well-being.

if she is past her youth... The Greek here means she is in the full bloom of her marriageable years. She is not a child. The father recognizes that the window for marriage and childbearing is not infinite. To keep her at home indefinitely without good reason would be to neglect a significant aspect of her created purpose as a woman. It would be like having a prize apple tree and refusing to let it bear fruit. The father is to be a wise cultivator, not a hoarder.

and if it must be so... This points to a necessity driven by the circumstances. The "necessity" is likely the daughter's own desires and passions, which are good and God-given. If the father perceives that his daughter has a strong desire for marriage and that to deny it would lead to sin or deep discontent, then the matter becomes necessary. He is not to quench the Spirit in this. He is to recognize that the gift of celibacy is just that, a gift, and it is not given to everyone (v. 7). When the gift is not present, marriage is the God-ordained remedy for burning with passion (v. 9).

let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. The "what he wishes" is constrained by the context. It means, "let him follow through on the course of action that the circumstances demand, which is marriage." Paul gives the father explicit apostolic clearance: in giving his daughter in marriage under these conditions, he is not sinning. He is not failing to reach some super-spiritual level of devotion. He is acting as a wise and godly father. The conclusion is simple and direct: "let her marry." More literally, "let them marry," meaning the daughter and her suitor. The father's role is to grant permission, to give her away in a covenantal ceremony that establishes a new household.

1 Corinthians 7:37

But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no compulsion, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.

But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no compulsion... Now Paul presents the alternative scenario. This is a father who is settled and steadfast in his conviction. He is not wavering. And crucially, he is "under no compulsion." The "compulsion" or "necessity" is the same one mentioned in the previous verse. In this case, that necessity is absent. His daughter does not have a burning desire to be married. She is content to remain in his household, serving the Lord alongside her family. There is no external or internal pressure forcing his hand toward marriage.

but has authority over his own will... This phrase emphasizes the father's self-control and deliberate judgment. He is not being driven by selfish motives, like a desire to keep a servant in the house or an unwillingness to pay a dowry. He has mastered his own will and is making a decision based on what is best for the glory of God and the good of his daughter. His authority is first exercised over himself, which is the prerequisite for exercising it wisely over others.

and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. The decision is made and settled in his heart. It is a purposeful resolve. And the decision is "to keep his own virgin." This doesn't mean locking her away. It means to continue to guard, protect, and provide for her within his own household. In that context, she is free to devote herself more fully to the affairs of the Lord. And Paul's judgment on this course of action is that the father "will do well." This is a good, honorable, and wise path.

1 Corinthians 7:38

So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well... Paul summarizes with a direct comparison. Let no one misunderstand. The father who, after careful consideration of the circumstances, gives his daughter in marriage does a good thing. Marriage is honorable. It is not a second-class calling. It is the normative foundation of society and the church. He "does well."

and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. Here is the crux. The "better" is not a statement of moral or spiritual superiority in the abstract. It is "better" in view of the "present distress" (v. 26) and for the purpose of "undistracted devotion to the Lord" (v. 35). In a time of persecution or crisis, being untangled from the legitimate and good cares of marriage and family is a strategic advantage for the kingdom. The father who, in concert with a willing and gifted daughter, makes this possible for her is doing a "better" thing from a strategic standpoint. He is freeing up a soldier for the front lines. This is not a slight on marriage, but rather a sober recognition of the realities of the Christian warfare in a fallen world.

Application

The first and most obvious application is that fathers need to recover a robust sense of their biblical responsibilities. You are the head of your home, and this includes overseeing the courtship and marriage of your children. The modern world has told you to abdicate this role, to let your children run wild in the romantic wilderness of dating. The results are in, and they are disastrous. This passage calls fathers to be thoughtful, engaged, and authoritative guardians of their children's future.

Second, we must see that both marriage and singleness are good callings from God, to be pursued for His glory. There is no room for pride in either state. The father who gives his daughter in marriage does well. The father who keeps her for undistracted service does better, but only if the conditions are right. This requires wisdom, not a cookie-cutter formula. We must assess the times, the people involved, and the gifts God has given.

Finally, this passage reminds us that all our family decisions are to be oriented toward the kingdom of God. Whether we marry or remain single, the goal is not personal fulfillment, but "undistracted devotion to the Lord." A godly father is not asking, "What will make my daughter happiest?" in a sentimental sense. He is asking, "In what state can my daughter best serve and glorify the Lord Jesus Christ?" And he makes his decision from a position of steadfast, loving authority, for her good and God's glory.