Covenantal Complications and Comforts Text: 1 Corinthians 7:12-16
Introduction: When the Kingdom Invades a Household
We are continuing our study in 1 Corinthians, and we have come to a section where the apostle Paul is applying deep theological realities to some of the messiest and most practical situations imaginable. The gospel had come to Corinth, a city known for its licentiousness, and it had done what the gospel always does: it had invaded. It had conquered hearts, one by one. But this glorious invasion created a host of complicated questions. What happens when the kingdom of God conquers one spouse, but not the other? What happens when the battle line of that great, cosmic war runs right down the middle of a marriage bed?
The Corinthians, being new converts and surrounded by pagan assumptions, were full of anxieties. They wondered if they were now unequally yoked in a way that was spiritually contaminating. Should they separate from their unbelieving spouse to pursue holiness? Does the unbelief of one partner defile the entire household? Does it make the marriage illegitimate? Does it render the children unclean?
These are not abstract questions. They are intensely personal and pastoral. And Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, answers them with a robust, covenantal theology. He shows us that God's grace is not a fragile, delicate thing that must be quarantined from the world. Rather, it is a potent, sanctifying force that pushes outward, claiming and consecrating everything it touches. The principles here are foundational for understanding the nature of the Christian family, the covenant, and the church's mission in the world.
Paul's instructions here are a direct refutation of any Gnostic or hyper-spiritual impulse to retreat from the world. The call is not to abandon our posts, but to occupy them faithfully. The Christian life is not about escaping messy situations; it is about bringing God's ordering and sanctifying grace to bear upon them. This passage gives us the marching orders for how a believer is to conduct themselves when their closest earthly relationship is with someone who does not share their ultimate allegiance.
The Text
"But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"
(1 Corinthians 7:12-16 LSB)
The Apostolic Command: Do Not Separate (vv. 12-13)
Paul begins by addressing the "mixed" marriage, where one partner has come to faith after the marriage was already established.
"But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband." (1 Corinthians 7:12-13)
First, we must deal with the phrase "I say, not the Lord." Some have mistakenly taken this to mean that Paul is offering his personal, uninspired opinion. This is a profound misunderstanding of what is happening. In the preceding verses (vv. 10-11), Paul addressed marriages between two believers, and he said, "not I, but the Lord," because he was directly citing the explicit teaching of Jesus during His earthly ministry (e.g., Matt. 19:3-9). Now, he is applying that same divine authority to a new situation that Jesus did not directly address: a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. So, "I, not the Lord" simply means, "Jesus did not speak to this specific scenario, but I, as His inspired apostle, am doing so now." This is not a lesser authority; it is an extension of the same authority to a new circumstance (cf. 2 Cor. 11:17).
The command is straightforward. The believer is not to initiate a divorce simply because their spouse is an unbeliever. The decisive factor is the disposition of the unbelieving spouse. If the unbeliever "consents to live with him," the marriage is to continue. The Greek word for "consents" (suneudokeo) means more than just passive tolerance; it implies being pleased with, or approving of, the arrangement. As long as the unbelieving spouse is willing to maintain the marriage, the believer's duty is to remain faithful to their vows.
This is a radical command. It establishes that conversion does not nullify pre-existing, lawful vows. Your baptism does not wash away your marriage covenant. This principle stands against any form of spiritual pride that would lead a new convert to look down on their unbelieving spouse as unclean or unworthy. The new life in Christ is not a license for irresponsibility, but a call to a deeper, more profound faithfulness, even in difficult circumstances.
The Covenantal Reason: Sanctification (v. 14)
Paul then provides the theological foundation for his command. Why must the believer stay? Because their presence has a powerful, positive, spiritual effect on the entire household.
"For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy." (1 Corinthians 7:14)
This is one of the most important verses in the New Testament for understanding the covenantal nature of the family. The word "sanctified" here does not mean that the unbelieving spouse is automatically saved or personally regenerated. It is not speaking of subjective, internal holiness. Rather, it refers to an objective, covenantal, or positional holiness. The unbeliever is "set apart" for a special relationship to God and His blessings because they are in a one-flesh union with a believer.
Think of it this way. The temple sanctified the gold that was attached to it (Matt. 23:17). The gold did not become spiritually alive, but it was set apart for a holy purpose. In the same way, the believing spouse acts as a conduit of covenantal grace and influence into the home. The household of a believer is not neutral territory; it is claimed territory. It is embassy ground for the kingdom of God. The unbeliever living in that house is brought under the sound of the gospel, the influence of a godly life, and the blessings of God that rest upon His people.
Paul then drives the point home with an argument from the children. "For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy." The word for "holy" is hagios, the same word translated "saints" throughout the New Testament. Again, this does not guarantee the personal salvation of every covenant child. But it does mean they are not to be treated as little pagans. They are objectively part of the covenant community. They are set apart, claimed by God, and are to be raised as disciples of Jesus Christ. This is the bedrock of infant baptism. We baptize our children not to make them holy, but because God has already declared them to be holy by virtue of their birth to at least one believing parent. They are federally holy. To deny this is to unravel the entire fabric of how God has always dealt with His people in families.
The Painful Exception: Desertion (v. 15)
Having laid down the rule, Paul now addresses the exception. What if the unbeliever refuses to stay?
"Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace." (1 Corinthians 7:15)
The believer is commanded to maintain the marriage, but they are not commanded to do so unilaterally. If the unbelieving spouse deserts the believer, the believer is to "let him leave." The believer is not required to pursue, beg, or coerce the departing spouse to stay. The responsibility for breaking the covenant lies entirely with the unbeliever.
And the consequence is profound: "The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases." The word "enslaved" (douloo) means to be in bondage. Paul is saying that the believer is no longer bound by the marriage vows. This is what the Westminster Confession refers to as "willful desertion." When an unbeliever departs from a believer because of their faith, it is a fundamental rejection of the covenant. In such cases, the believer is free. This freedom, in the context of first-century law and custom, necessarily included the freedom to remarry. To be "not bound" means the marriage is dissolved.
The final phrase, "but God has called us to peace," is key. This is not a call to peace at any price. It is not saying, "Just do whatever keeps things quiet." Rather, it means that God does not require a believer to live in a state of perpetual strife, warfare, and misery caused by an unbeliever who is hostile to Christ and His covenant. If the unbeliever insists on war by leaving, the believer is released into God's peace. The believer's conscience is clear.
The Evangelistic Hope (v. 16)
Finally, Paul concludes this section with a word of encouragement, reminding the believer of the ultimate reason for staying, if possible.
"For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" (1 Corinthians 7:16)
This is a rhetorical question expecting a hopeful answer. You don't know! And because you don't know, you should remain in the marriage, if the unbeliever is willing, as a faithful witness. Your consistent, godly, patient, and loving conduct is one of the primary instruments God may use to bring your spouse to salvation. Peter makes the same point, telling wives to win their unbelieving husbands "without a word by the conduct of their wives" (1 Peter 3:1).
This is not a guarantee. Paul is not promising that every unbelieving spouse will be converted. But he is holding out the glorious possibility. The marriage is not just something to be endured; it is a mission field. The believer is an ambassador for Christ in their own home. This transforms the believer's duty from one of grim obligation to one of hopeful, evangelistic love.
Conclusion: Ambassadors in Residence
So what are the takeaways for us? First, we see the profound dignity and permanence of marriage. It is not a contract to be dissolved at will, even by something as significant as conversion. Our vows matter to God.
Second, we see the power of covenantal influence. A single believer sanctifies a whole household. Your faith is not a private affair; it is a public declaration that claims your home, your spouse, and your children for Christ. You are to live in such a way that your home becomes a little outpost of the kingdom of heaven. Your children are to be treated as young saints, and your unbelieving spouse is to be treated as a mission field right under your own roof.
Third, we see the reality of biblical freedom. While God's standard is faithfulness, He does not bind His people to relationships where the other party has declared war on the covenant itself. In cases of willful desertion by an unbeliever, the believer is not enslaved. There is a path to freedom and peace.
Finally, we are reminded that our ultimate calling is to be witnesses. Whether in a peaceful marriage or a difficult one, our lives are to be a testimony to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. For the wife with an unbelieving husband, or the husband with an unbelieving wife, your faithful presence, your patient love, and your unwavering hope may be the very sermon that God uses to save a soul. You are an ambassador in residence, and your embassy is your home. Conduct yourself accordingly, for the glory of the King.