Commentary - 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

Bird's-eye view

In this portion of 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul turns his attention from marriages between two believers to the more complicated scenario of a "mixed marriage," where one spouse is a Christian and the other is not. This was a pressing pastoral issue in the early church as the Gospel spread and individuals were converted out of pagan households. The central question was whether the new faith of one spouse invalidated the marriage covenant made in unbelief. Paul's apostolic instruction here is foundational for understanding Christian duty within such a union. He establishes a strong presumption in favor of preserving the marriage, grounding his reasoning in the covenantal effect the believer has on the unbelieving spouse and their children. However, he also provides a crucial release clause, what we might call the Pauline privilege, for cases where the unbeliever abandons the marriage. The entire passage is a masterful application of gospel principles to the messy realities of domestic life, balancing the call to covenant faithfulness with the peace God grants His people.

Paul distinguishes his instruction here from a direct command of Jesus during His earthly ministry, yet he speaks with full apostolic authority. He lays out a principle of sanctification that extends to the unbelieving members of a Christian's household, rendering them "holy" in a covenantal sense. This is not to say they are automatically saved, but that they are set apart, brought into the orbit of God's grace through the believing spouse. This has massive implications for how we view the family. The passage concludes by addressing the believer's responsibility if the unbeliever chooses to leave, and it tempers any messianic zeal to "save" a spouse at all costs, reminding us that ultimate salvation is God's work.

Outline

Verse by Verse Commentary

12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.

Paul now addresses a situation that Jesus did not directly speak to during His earthly ministry. When Jesus taught on divorce, He was addressing Jews within the covenant community of Israel, where both spouses were assumed to be members of that covenant. But with the explosion of the Gospel into the Gentile world, a new scenario arose frequently: one spouse would convert, and the other would not. So Paul says, "I say, not the Lord." This is not Paul setting his opinion against the Lord's, or suggesting his words are uninspired. Far from it. He is simply distinguishing his apostolic teaching for this new situation from the specific context Jesus addressed. Paul is applying the Lord's principles to a new frontier, and he does so with the full authority of an apostle.

The instruction is plain. If a brother finds himself married to an unbeliever, the mere fact of her unbelief is not grounds for him to initiate a divorce. The key condition is her consent: if she "consents to live with him." This word for consent means she is pleased to remain, she agrees to the arrangement. If she is willing to continue in the marriage, he is commanded not to send her away. The new covenant in Christ does not dissolve the old covenant of marriage. Grace affirms nature; it doesn't obliterate it.

13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.

And what is binding on the man is also binding on the woman. Paul, in his typical fashion, ensures the principle is applied symmetrically. If a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he is willing to stay, she is under the same obligation. She must not leave him. This was a radical teaching in a world where divorce was often easy and initiated for any number of reasons. The stability of the marriage bond is held up as a high value, even when that bond is stretched across the chasm of belief and unbelief. The Christian is to be the stable, faithful party in the relationship, demonstrating the covenant-keeping character of God.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

Here is the theological bedrock for the previous commands. Why should the believer stay? Because their presence has a profound spiritual effect on the entire household. The unbelieving spouse is "sanctified." This does not mean the unbeliever is automatically saved or made personally holy. It is a covenantal, positional term. To be sanctified is to be "set apart." The unbeliever, by being joined to a believer in a one-flesh union, is brought into the sphere of covenant blessing. They are no longer just another pagan out in the world; they are now connected to the body of Christ in a unique way. They live under a consecrated roof. They hear the gospel, they see it lived out, and they are recipients of the common graces that flow from being so near to a child of God.

Paul then drives the point home with the example of the children. He says, if this principle of sanctification were not true, "your children are unclean." But that is unthinkable to him. He concludes with the triumphant reality: "but now they are holy." Again, this is covenantal holiness. The children of even one believing parent are set apart for God. They are not little pagans, but are included within the covenant community. This is a foundational text for infant baptism, for it shows that the covenant promises of God extend to the children of believers. The faith of one parent places the child in a special category, marked as belonging to God. This sanctifying influence is the reason the marriage must be preserved if at all possible.

15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

Now comes the crucial exception, the Pauline privilege. What if the unbeliever does not consent to stay? What if the believer's faith becomes the point of contention that breaks the marriage? Paul's counsel is remarkably liberating: "let him leave." The believer is not to cling, to beg, to compromise the faith just to keep the unbeliever there. If the unbeliever insists on departing because of the believer's commitment to Christ, the believer is to let them go.

And the reason is that "the brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases." The Greek word is clear: not under bondage. The marriage vow does not bind the believer to an unbeliever who has deserted them. This is desertion, and in this context, it functions as a dissolution of the marriage. The believer is free. Why? Because "God has called us to peace." It is not a peaceful situation for a believer to be shackled to a spouse who is hostile to their faith and has abandoned the fundamental commitment of marriage. God's call is to a life of peace, and that peace is found in accepting the freedom that the unbeliever's departure has created. The believer is not obligated to pursue a destructive and abandoned relationship.

16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This final verse functions as a sober-minded reality check. It can be read in two ways, but both lead to the same conclusion. It could be an encouragement to stay (if the unbeliever is willing), because who knows? Perhaps your faithful presence will be the means God uses to save them. But given the immediate context of the unbeliever leaving, it is more likely a word of comfort and release for the believer who has been deserted. You are not God. You cannot force your spouse's conversion. How do you know if they would have been saved even if you had somehow managed to compel them to stay?

Salvation belongs to the Lord. Your responsibility is to live faithfully before Him. If your unbelieving spouse is willing to live with you, your faithful duty is to remain, being a sanctifying influence. If your unbelieving spouse deserts you, your faithful duty is to let them go and walk in the peace and freedom God has given you. You are not their savior; Christ is. This verse releases the believer from a false sense of responsibility for the eternal destiny of their departing spouse. Live faithfully, trust God with the results, and walk in peace.